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    AC Benus
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Poems for Ross - 5. goodness

Poem No. 10

 

To forget of you

will be my hell.

 

When I can't recall

what you mean to me

 

To be deprived

of your memory

 

Not to remember

that once I knew

 

what the sublime was

just to think of you.

 

To forget of you

will be my hell

 

for that I can say

without you, it will be the same.

 

 

 

Poem No. 11

 

Love, the word is a grotesque thing

to try and write of you.

And what goodness could it bring

not to have the sight of you.

 

So, let me put down my pen

and stop all this foolishness.

But I don’t want this to end

and I can't you dismiss.

 

Love, the word is like a vapor

gone before I knew what it meant

and I can't make love to this paper,

so with your thought I'll be content.

 

 

 

Poem No. 12

 

How can I say goodbye

before I've even said hello;

if only it were a simple 'Hi,'

or a friendly 'Yo.'

 

But I want more than a friend.

From you I want your love;

how you my mind could mend

like only a gift from above.

 

I can't say 'How are you?'

it's not as simple as that

for I'd mean 'I love you,'

and what good is that.

Copyright © 2017 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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How much Ross has meant to you over the years...both a solace and a torment--too precious to lose, too painful to keep. And yet, despite all that, there has to be a reward, and I think it must be the dreams you built in your head, for they showed that such a thing was possible to feel, maybe to embrace some day. How sad the life and soul of one who never can envision such scenes.

 

I cry with you for not achieving your goal with this wonderful boy, but I also sing with you at the experience you hold in your heart. First Loves are said to be the purest and grandest of all, the standard by which all others are measured...joyous the spirit which has felt such things, for it can give warmth on a cold day, and light in the darkest night. Cherish the memories, take them out once in a while to hold them in your heart...they show you what love should be, and make you appreciate it more, and ensure that you give the best of yourself to those in your heart.
Congratulations, AC.

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On 08/10/2015 09:13 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

How much Ross has meant to you over the years...both a solace and a torment--too precious to lose, too painful to keep. And yet, despite all that, there has to be a reward, and I think it must be the dreams you built in your head, for they showed that such a thing was possible to feel, maybe to embrace some day. How sad the life and soul of one who never can envision such scenes.

 

I cry with you for not achieving your goal with this wonderful boy, but I also sing with you at the experience you hold in your heart. First Loves are said to be the purest and grandest of all, the standard by which all others are measured...joyous the spirit which has felt such things, for it can give warmth on a cold day, and light in the darkest night. Cherish the memories, take them out once in a while to hold them in your heart...they show you what love should be, and make you appreciate it more, and ensure that you give the best of yourself to those in your heart.

Congratulations, AC.

Thank you for a thoughtful review, ColumbusGuy. But just to be clear, all of the Ross poems were written in a pretty narrow time frame. I think the 'newest' one dates to about two years after I first met him.

 

These are all young poems. I hope they show the rawness of how confusing it was way back then for me. If I had met him just a few years later, I would have 'made things happen,' but as the old me says so often in these poems, I guess it was not to be.

 

Thanks again. I always love hearing from you.

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Every time more Ross-poems are added, I am amazed that the same theme can produce such different emotions.
The one that impressed me most of this trio was no. 10, for to me it has a much more universal meaning than "just" a poem for Ross. If I hadn't known the context I would have read this poem as an epitaph. After a loved one dies and your thoughts are occupied dayly with memories, sooner or later there comes a day when you are shocked by the discovery that you didn't think about him or her yesterday. For me the fear for that discovery is also embodied in these lines.
The fact that the poems are now here for us to read shows your fear has not become reality. Ross is not forgotten.
Once again thanks for sharing this.

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CG and JHunter got this covered! I'll just add, that even in its simplicity, (and in no way do I mean simple) it's hard to miss the depth of unencumbered emotion in all of Ross' poems. You used 'rawness' to describe it...that's a good word..

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On 08/11/2015 04:24 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

Every time more Ross-poems are added, I am amazed that the same theme can produce such different emotions.

The one that impressed me most of this trio was no. 10, for to me it has a much more universal meaning than "just" a poem for Ross. If I hadn't known the context I would have read this poem as an epitaph. After a loved one dies and your thoughts are occupied dayly with memories, sooner or later there comes a day when you are shocked by the discovery that you didn't think about him or her yesterday. For me the fear for that discovery is also embodied in these lines.

The fact that the poems are now here for us to read shows your fear has not become reality. Ross is not forgotten.

Once again thanks for sharing this.

Thank you, J.HunterDunn. Your comments about No. 10 are pretty awesome. I always wonder if I should give out 'more' information, for the worst thing a poet can do is impose a reading of his or her work. At least, that's how I feel.

 

In any event, I can tell you that these three are dated from the start of June to mid August of the year I met Ross. The first one was 'born' in feelings of the school year ending, and me not being able to see him on a daily basis.

 

I recall that that summer I got to hang out with him a few times, so the other poems probably resulted from being separated from him again.

 

Thanks for your support, and always insightful reviews.

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On 08/12/2015 12:23 AM, Defiance19 said:

CG and JHunter got this covered! I'll just add, that even in its simplicity, (and in no way do I mean simple) it's hard to miss the depth of unencumbered emotion in all of Ross' poems. You used 'rawness' to describe it...that's a good word..

Thank you, Defiance19. Yes, raw is how I felt writing them. Thank you for your support and kinds words.

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