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    AC Benus
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Translation Trashbin - 16. David und Jonathan (2)

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David und Jonathan (2)

von Else Lasker-Schüler

 

O Jonathan, ich blasse hin in deinem Schoß,

Mein Herz fällt feierlich in dunklen Falten,

In meiner Schläfe pflege du den Mond,

Des Sternes Gold sollst du erhalten,

Du bist mein Himmel mein, du Liebgenoß.

 

Ich hab so säumerisch die kühne Welt

Fern immer nur im Bach geschaut,

Doch hat mein Träumen sich nicht hold belohnt,

Da sie nun bunt aus meinem Auge fällt

Durch deine Liebe aufgetaut.

 

O Jonathan, nimm du die königliche Träne,

Sie schimmert weich und reich wie eine Braut.

O Jonathan, du Blut der süßen Feige,

Duftendes Gehang an meinem Zweige,

Du Ring in meiner Lippe Haut.

 

Durch den ich wieder neu und scheu mich sehnen…

O Jonathan, dein spielerischer Bibelprinz

Nippt sterbend noch von deiner Liebe Minz.

 

 

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David and Jonathan (2)

by Else Lasker-Schüler

 

O Jonathan, I pale against your bosom's void,

My heart falls into dark, ceremonial folds,

Because in my inner sanctum, you nurse the moon

To enlight the gold star of our two joined households,

You my heaven on earth, my dear love most enjoyed.

 

Once an outcast, the manly world I watched in fear

From afar, as if through the waters of a stream,

But my isolation availed for naught, for soon

The gayly refined sights you opened like a dream

Must melt to flowing riffles from my parting tear.

 

O Jonathan, bless me with one last royal pearl,

Pause it like the shy virgin upon the threshold.

O Jonathan, you blood of the sweet fig branch hewn,

Decorate my limbs with your fragrance manifold,

In the ringed circle of my lips, let it unfurl.

 

Suddenly, I'm new again as a bride at noon...

O Jonathan, even if it means my dying,

I'll still sip your love's taste without falsifying.

 

 

_

Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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BTW, here's a drop of fig sap, in case you are unfamiliar with what it looks like ;) 

 

sfw.Figsap.jpg

 

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Compliments on how you managed to even bring rhyme into your translation of this complex poem.

I know I'll have to think especially about the third stanza some more because it seems so obscure to me, I guess i'll have to sleep on it at least one night :)

I didn't read Lasker-Schüler before (perhaps one or two poems at school but I don't remember) and you make me wonder how I could have missed her, so to speak, and her poems make me wonder how I could have thought my knowledge of my mother language is comprehensive enough 😉

Edited by Zenobia
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1 hour ago, Zenobia said:

Compliments on how you managed to even bring rhyme into your translation of this complex poem.

I know I'll have to think especially about the third stanza some more because it seems so obscure to me, I guess i'll have to sleep on it at least one night :)

I didn't read Lasker-Schüler before (perhaps one or two poems at school but I don't remember) and you make me wonder how I could have missed her, so to speak, and her poems make me wonder how I could have thought my knowledge of my mother language is comprehensive enough 😉

I had the most difficulty with the second stanza. The reference to manliness and the waters of a brook had me scratching my head for a long time. Lyssa helped me make my way to seeing what the poet was saying. Same thing goes for the 3rd and 4th stanzas. They are challenges, but the dots only connect in one way, and creates one of the most erotically charged poems I have ever seen.  

 

I have read that Lasker-Schüler's ability to craft new words and terms was bottomless, and she shows it with every poem she wrote. She was also quite an interesting visual artist. I think I have the link showing a sketch she made of David and Jonathan's parting....let me look for it.

 

Thanks for the comments, Zenobia. I appreciate them.

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I know nothing about poetry, so I won't pretend to. :lol: 

 

I thought this was a woman talking about a man until I saw the picture, then read between the lines. :facepalm:

 

This poet new her game. Applause for the translation and the sharing.

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6 minutes ago, Twisted_Dreemz said:

I know nothing about poetry, so I won't pretend to. :lol: 

 

I thought this was a woman talking about a man until I saw the picture, then read between the lines. :facepalm:

 

This poet new her game. Applause for the translation and the sharing.

Else was very interested in love between men. She wrote about it a lot, lucky for us :yes:

 

Thanks for reading and commenting, Twisted. I appreciate it. 

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1 hour ago, deville said:

Beautiful, truly exceptional. 

Thanks for the praise, deville! Muah 

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16 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Thank you - I didn't know about it but this is a fine addition to the poem itself  :)

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So many images tumble over one another, yet the love of David for his Jonathan is constant. You manage this subtle feat in your translation, in addition to the even more taxing art holding to a rhyme scheme in your work. This is a poem to be loved and a translation to be admired. 

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I've read this poem a few times now, and I still have a bit of trouble putting into words what I think of it. It's fantastic in my opinion, and the skill you have to be able to read and translate an author's intent along with their words astounds me. Great job!

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On 8/1/2018 at 8:38 AM, Zenobia said:

Thank you - I didn't know about it but this is a fine addition to the poem itself  :)

Her artwork is very interesting. There is one sketch of a man on a camel, and the animal is rendered with such mastery -- every part and proportion of its body is amazingly accurate. At the same time, the man is shown with fascinating distortions to his limbs.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading my work and leaving me encouragement. I truly appreciate it!  

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On 8/3/2018 at 12:25 PM, Parker Owens said:

So many images tumble over one another, yet the love of David for his Jonathan is constant. You manage this subtle feat in your translation, in addition to the even more taxing art holding to a rhyme scheme in your work. This is a poem to be loved and a translation to be admired. 

Almost with a bit of embarrassment I'll "confess" that there is something in Else's work that makes me respond in a more formal way for translation. In her work, she's fairly free and does what I did as a younger poet, which is start off with a rhyme scheme and a set stanza size, and then proceed to not pay much attention as inspiration takes her on a journey.

 

When translating her work, I like to take her original rhyme scheme and continue it on throughout. Why....? I don't really know. It just feels it will be the best that way to convey her message/mood completely in English.

 

Thanks for reading, Parker. I always appreciate it.    

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On 8/3/2018 at 3:10 PM, BHopper2 said:

I've read this poem a few times now, and I still have a bit of trouble putting into words what I think of it. It's fantastic in my opinion, and the skill you have to be able to read and translate an author's intent along with their words astounds me. Great job!

Thank you, A, for reading and commenting. Lyssa introduced me to the poetry of Else, and at this point, I guess I'm hooked. The woman had a deep admiration for love among men, and it came out again and again in her poetry and art. I have more to dig and get inspired.

 

Thanks again!  

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