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    AC Benus
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Translation Trashbin - 18. “Suzhou Nocturne”

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Performance Translation of:

Suzhou Nocturne

By Hattori and Saijo

 

The story of this torch song centers around a young Chinese woman from the city of Suzhou, known as the Venice of the East, who met, fell in love with, and was left behind by a Japanese sailor. She simultaneously experiences the new-come spring in her hometown while remembering the one she and her sailor shared in the past.

Musically speaking, this is a Japanese take on Chinese music. For most Westerners, perhaps the differences are not noticeable, but the continued popularity of this song -- despite 'the history' of its composition -- speaks to how appealing it is to both cultures. Needless to say, the music and lyrics are beautiful to everyone :) 

Follow along with the youtube links provided below. Musical timing information refers to the Ann Sally recording.

 

 

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夜来香[1]

作詞:西条八十

作曲:服部良一

 

君がみ胸に抱かれてきくは

夢の船歌恋の唄

水の蘇州の花散る春を

惜しむか柳がすすり泣く

 

花を浮べて流れる水の

明日の行方は知らねども

今宵うつした二人の姿

消えてくれるないつまでも

 

髪にかざろか口づけしよか

君が手折りし桃の花

涙ぐむよなおぼろの月に

鐘が鳴ります寒山寺

 

 

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Suzhou Nocturne

Lyrics: Yaso Saijo

Music: Ryoichi Hattori

 

(0:25) In my memory's embrace, it's you, young man, I still hear

Across the ocean billows, shipboard with your singing;

And Suzhou's waters enlace with spring blossoms clear,

While the birds in the willows for beauty are weeping.

 

(1:25) These flowers now adrift don't see their connection,

Giving no thought to the tides to which they are clinging;

But don't betray the couple standing in reflection

Whose tomorrows only deserve tender safekeeping.

 

(3:22) How you'd kiss the blossoms plucked sweetly for my hair,

Young man, when you saw the flowers of peach swinging;

But now the moon tearful becomes, waning softly in the air,

Claiming the far temple's small hours and its bell unsleeping.

 

 

Ann Sally (full song):

 

Yamaguchi (only first and last stanzas): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1NiP0ihPUs

 

 

 

 


[1] The song’s Japanese title is the name of a plant; the tuberose, to be precise. But the exact combination of these three Chinese characters can be understood to mean something like “night incense.” It’s this nocturnal connection the authors chose to highlight in calling it “Suzhou Nocturne.”

 

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Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Simply wonderful.  Your touch with these translations is like down on a maiden's cheek ... in other words...lovely!

 

 

Edited by Mikiesboy
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I so enjoyed listening to this and fitting your translation to the music. I think you did marvelously. For some reason, the middle verse speaks to me particularly. 

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tim is right. To translate these, I think you must feel it more than simply translate. It must be done with finesse, but more ... with soul, and with love.  Beautiful AC.

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On 10/4/2018 at 2:00 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Simply wonderful.  Your touch with these translations is like down on a maiden's cheek ... in other words...lovely!

 

 

Thanks for checking this out. I really appreciate it :)  

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On 10/4/2018 at 3:31 PM, Parker Owens said:

I so enjoyed listening to this and fitting your translation to the music. I think you did marvelously. For some reason, the middle verse speaks to me particularly. 

Thank you, Parker. Yes, I think the central stanza is more introspective for the performer too. Thanks again. 

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On 10/4/2018 at 9:23 PM, MichaelS36 said:

tim is right. To translate these, I think you must feel it more than simply translate. It must be done with finesse, but more ... with soul, and with love.  Beautiful AC.

You're very good to read these for me, Michael, and I appreciate all the feedback and encouragement you offer me :yes: 

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