Prompt Rides - 20. Get Tested

“But why would you want me to meet you there?” I’d just gotten home from work, the day had been a wreck, and the last thing I needed was for my husband to call me with a mysterious invitation. “What’s going on at the GLBT center? What’s so important I have to be there before they close at seven?”

My name’s Bob Rydell, I’m in my late twenties, nice face, good height, lots of dark hair all over, I could lose two or twenty pounds. Young enough people are not yet calling me a bear, guys still consider me a cub. I work in construction, for a company building single family homes. My husband’s ten years older than me, has a gym body smooth as a baby’s bottom, and short blond hair styled at an expensive salon downtown. He’s a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms in the city.

“Look, my morning started with a flat tire, two guys in the crew called in sick, the lumber yard delivery was late, then the sky opened up, and it poured. An entire day wasted.” He’s so freaking intelligent, but he can’t figure out why it felt like a wasted day to me? “Honey, rain and lighting means we can’t be working outside, and without the lumber delivery, we couldn’t frame inside walls. We got squat accomplished today.”

As he approached me on the dance floor, almost three years ago, I figured he was slumming. Pretty boy, dressed in expensive jeans, and a designer t-shirt, trying to look like one of the guys. I thought maybe he was looking for some rough sex, what with it being ‘Fur & Leather’ night at the bar. But hell, I couldn’t pull off rough if I tried, men and women see me, and teddy bear comes to mind.

“Offering to buy me an expensive meal afterwards ain’t gonna work.” The fucker’s trying to bribe me? With dinner at the best restaurant in town? My curiosity kicks in. What he’s up to? “You either tell me what’s going on, or I’ll be staying home, and see you whenever you get here.”

We had a good time at the bar, the night we met. A few beers, a shot or two, and plenty of laughs. I found out he’d married a woman early on, and was divorced two years after; she found out he’d been having sex with the guy who took care of their yard. The wife had primary custody of the kids, but he was involved in their lives, trying to be a good father. He walked me the half a dozen blocks to my apartment building, came upstairs for a last beer, which led to getting naked, and fucking our brains out. Before he left the following morning, he extracted a promise from me, to have dinner with him during the week.

“You think we should go get tested for STDs?” Fuck! He had my full attention. I was nauseous. The feeling in my stomach was the same one you get in an elevator, a roller coaster, or an airplane. I felt the bottom falling out of my stomach and out of my life. “And why do you think we should get tested for sexually transmitted diseases?”

It wasn’t all fancy wining and dining. We went bowling, ate hot dogs from the vendors at the park, and enjoyed hockey games using his season tickets. A year after we met, we agreed it would be best not to renew the lease on my apartment; I moved into his penthouse in the waterfront high-rise. Six months ago we’d been married. My friends thought I was a fool, all he wanted was a boy toy and I’d be gone, whenever a younger model caught his fancy. His friends called me a gold digger, a fat slob, and a white trash construction worker. Funny how they all showed up at the wedding and the reception.

“No we can’t discuss it there, I ain’t going unless I know why you want us to get tested!” I tried real hard to remain somewhat calm, but I was real close to losing it. He was pleading and calling me babe. My tone of voice had anger in it already, the volume had risen, and I was ready to start shouting. “YOU DID WHAT? YOU MOTHERFUCKING TRASHY COCKSUCKER!”

He’d slept with somebody else? Jesus Fucking Christ! Talk about crash and burn. No wonder the asshole had trouble getting hard. It wasn’t a side effect of his heart medications; it was a side effect of fucking around. I plopped my ass down on a stool by the breakfast bar. I could hear the sound of his voice, he was still talking, but I wasn’t listening. All those fucking conversations about monogamy, and how much he emphasized fidelity.

“When, were, and with whom?” This is how his wife must have felt when she discovered he was cheating. Damn! Fuck if I was going to make this easy for him, I was gonna take a page from her book. “Yes, I really want to know, unless you cheated on me with Henry Cavill, yes it makes a difference.”

I’d cheat on anybody for a chance at fucking Superman. My relationship is crumbling and jokes are what pops up in my mind? There’s a coping mechanism for you. I think I need another beer. Nah, I think I’ll go finish off the open bottle of Johnnie Walker Quest. Might as well get drunk, no way am I going to work tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just take the rest of the week off, not like I need the money.

“What the fuck? You’ve been sleeping with him? But he’s a nelly queen, you always said you hated the type.” His fucking office manager. An over the hill twink, older than me, who uses more facial creams than my mother. I know, I saw the stuff in his bathroom last time he hosted an office party. “His boyfriend came down with something, so there’s a chance you got it? Tell you what, forget it. Just not in the mood, to listen to you anymore.”

Man this is good shit! No wonder they charge an arm and a leg for it. Real glad we have another―wait, scratch that―real glad I have another two bottles in the bar cabinet. That’s really gonna piss him off, when I don’t let him have the expensive booze. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t get drunk tonight. It’ll be a real busy day tomorrow, can’t have a hangover.

“Stop your whining, asshole. Shut the fuck up, and listen to me. I ain’t getting tested at the Center tonight, I’ll go sometime tomorrow to our doctor’s office, and get tested there. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing. Trust me, they’ll be fully aware of why I’m doing it, and you know the girls in his office will gossip.” I knew he’d worry about the news spreading and how it would affect his reputation.

“As soon as I hang up, I’m calling a locksmith, and changing the lock on the door. I’ll also reset the password for the alarm system. I don’t care where you spend the night. You can stay with your boyfriend. No you can’t come get clothes, wear the extra suit you keep in the office.” I wonder if he cringed after I called that sleazeball his boyfriend. Wish I could be a fly on the wall as the rumors start flying in his office.

”The next call I make is to your ex-wife. Of course she’s getting involved, I need the number of the attorney she used, when she divorced your cheating ass.” Based on what he’d told me, the guy was a shark, he knew how to take someone to the cleaners. “He’ll make time to see me tomorrow, no matter how busy he may be, when I call for an appointment and tell him who I am.” I was pissed off, and getting madder by the second. The motherfucker was gonna pay for this. By the time we’re done, he’s gonna be hurting bad. My eyes were starting to fill up with tears, I needed to end this conversation.

“There won’t be talking, or counseling; you know very well what my stand on cheating is. I asked you plenty of times, if you were ready to settle down, and you went on and on about monogamy and fidelity.” Yep needed to wrap this up quickly, the tears were now coursing down my cheeks.

“You’ve just hurt me more, than I’ve ever been before. You’ve got a pissed off, vindictive bitch on your hands, who’s looking for blood. The penthouse’s mine, everything in it is mine, the truck’s mine, and the hockey season tickets are mine. I offered to sign a prenuptial agreement, but you said it wasn’t needed. After I meet with the attorney, he’ll call you, and make arrangement for you to come pick up your stuff. You better pray the doctor doesn’t find anything, when I get tested.”