My heart nearly leapt right out of my fucking THROAT as I screamed out loud in terror!
My little brother, Andy, had definitely gotten me GOOD that time! Being away at college for the past three months had softened me up a bit, and left me completely vulnerable to his little 'scare tactics'! It had been a game that we had been playing since we were little, and I was always better at it, being almost five whole years older than he was. Now that I was 18 and he was halfway towards being 14...the game was a bit more evenly matched. In fact, I was starting to think he was developing a rather significant advantage over me. Hehehe, I gotta be honest, it made me kinda proud of the little bastard! After all the times that I had jumped out from around a corner and nearly made the poor kid wet himself...I guess I deserved a little payback.
I was clutching my chest and trying to catch my breath as Andy doubled over in a boyish fit of laughter, his silver braces glimmering in the light of my bedroom. "Oh, you think it's funny, do ya?" I said, my heart still trying to return to a somewhat normal beat pattern after being scared half to death. Knowing Andy's big weakness...I kneeled down next to him, and began to tickle his sides mercilessly, causing his already hysterical laughter to bubble out of control. And when he couldn't take any more, I kissed him on the top of the head and gave him a hug for a well executed game of 'scare the living shit out of your big brother'. He was certainly enjoying having me home for Christmas break. I can't even remember the last time I had seen him so happy. And here I was thinking that he'd be overjoyed to play an 'only' child while I was gone.
"Jesus, Mike! The look on your face! Hahaha!" He had to brush his longish dark brown hair out of his face as he tried to get the strength to get back on his feet. "Who's the master NOW?" He smiled proudly.
"Hey now, don't go getting cocky on me. My holiday break isn't quite over yet, munchkin."
"You're NOT gonna get me! You're all old and soft now, forget it."
I gave his frail little body a shove, and he nearly tipped over. "You just make sure you keep your eyes open. And keep an extra pair of underwear handy...just in case."
Andy and I were never really the kind of brothers that stayed at each other's throats twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Not even when we were growing up. Sure we had the occasional argument, and as 'boys'...well...let's just say that our parents had to deal with a lot of broken windows, furniture, and any other damage that we could cause during sudden bursts of teen testosterone. My mom used to have to literally 'drink' herself sane on rainy days when both of us had to stay in the house. Hehehe! But all that aside, through some kind of strange twist of fate, Andy and I had personalities that actually complimented one another enough to be...well...'friends'. Close friends, in fact. His youth energized me, and my experience was something he truly looked up to and admired. In our house, it was Mom and Dad that were usually the 'enemy'.
"Guys? The pizza's here." My dad called from the downstairs, and Andy and I got up to wash our hands so we could eat.
Andy was bouncing around so much that it was like he was on a whole new high that I had never seen before. "Mike, dude...you should TOTALLY take me to the indoor miniature golf place tomorrow! It'll be like last year, when you threw that club and almost hit that guys wife in the head with it! Hehehe!"
"Aren't you EVER gonna forget that?" I asked him as he grinned at me.
"Hell no! That was funny as hell! He got all mad and stuff!" He said. "C'mon, it'll be FUN!"
"Sorry, bro. We'll have to go during the week or something instead."
"Why? Are you kidding me? Everybody goes on the weekends. It'll be lame during the week."
"No can do. I'm spending time with Amy tomorrow. I haven't seen her in months."
Andy was still smiling, but I could hear a bit of a boyish pout in his voice. "Well...we haven't seen you in three months either. Can't you just go see her afterwards? We can go, like, extra early or something."
"Nope. Sorry. Amy said she wanted to spend the whole day together. And I'm not gonna disappoint her."
"Awww, why would you possibly want to spend a whole day with her?"
I smiled at him, "I'm pretty sure I don't need to go into detail about that And if I do...then that school Health class is not teaching you what it should be teaching you, kiddo." And I turned out the bathroom light before he finished drying his hands. He was quick to follow me out and walk down to the stairs right behind me, still begging all the way. "Forget it, Andy. Hehehe, I've already made plans. We can do it another time, I promise. I've still got another whole week and a half here. So don't sweat it."
"Whatever. You and your girlfriend. Psh!" He said, and I gave him a playful poke in the ribs as we got to the dinner table.
It was one of those dinners where my mom and dad keep asking me questions about college life and what I had planned to do with my girlfriend Amy while I was back home. How pointless is that? It's basically where I pretend that I haven't been drinking and smoking pot and partying and that I wasn't planning to bone my girlfriend as hard and often as this Christmas break would allow. And my parents pretend to know about all of the things I just mentioned. Hell, even Andy knew what the deal was. But I guess that's 'civil' family conversation for you.
"So are you and Andy going to the indoor golf place tomorrow?" My dad asked.
"NO! He's hanging out with stupid 'Amy' instead" Andy smirked. "So they can suck face all day long, like always."
"Quiet, you." I said, threatening to toss a biscuit at him if he kept it up. "Why don't you take your friend Danny with you? He lives for that kinda thing."
Andy rolled his eyes. "Um..yeah. THAT'S not gonna happen." He said.
I was a bit confused, and my mom told me, "Evidently, Andy and Danny aren't best friends any more."
"What? Are you serious? I thought you guys were 'blood brothers' and all that." I asked, which only got Andy to look at me like I was just being childish.
"Please! Danny is SO 8th grade. We're in high school now." He said, looking down at his plate. "Besides...he was being weird about...'stuff', so...you know, whatever."
Nothing really struck me as odd about it. Boys grow up a bit, little thing change, and the more they find their own identities...the more they begin to realize how compatible or incompatible those identities are. Hell, the friends I had in Junior High and the friends I had in high school were two completely different groups of people. It happens. But Andy seemed to get kinda quiet after that. And Andy is almost never quiet.
"It's all about 'Devon' now, right?" My mom asked with a grin. "Now those two are inseparable. I think that boy eats here more than he does at home."
"Yeah." Andy said, and his eyes glanced at me for a second before going back to his plate again.
"You and Devon could go to the golf place tomorrow, or you could help me and your father set up for the church yard sale." She told him, and Andy kinda snickered to himself.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun. Being around a bunch of 'church people' on a Saturday afternoon."
My dad laughed. "Well, it's either that, or wandering the streets looking for trouble."
"I like that one better." Andy smirked. "I'll find something to do, don't sweat it."
As much as I wish I could change the plan and spend some quality time with my baby bro...I needed Amy in a BAD way. Being faithful to a long distance relationship in college is NOT easy, believe me. But I managed to be a good boy over the last few months...and now I wanted my reward My warm, wet, tight, reward.
Later on that night, I was getting myself ready for bed, and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when I came back, I noticed that my bedroom door was closed a bit more than it was when I left, and I could see a hint of my brother's shadow through the sliver of space between the hinges. Sneaky little bastard I knew he was waiting for me, but I wasn't about to be his scared little victim twice in the same day. Instead, I walked up to the door, and quickly swung it open to lightly bang him in the head with it. "Oww! What the...?"
"Nice try, pipsqueak! Now get outta here! I need my energy for tomorrow."
"Hehehe, I'll bet." He said. "When are you leaving?"
"I don't know, probably around noon. Why?"
"Can you drop me off at Devon's house when you go? The bus sucks."
"Yeah, it's no problem But you're on your own getting back. I won't be home until late." I told him.
"Cool. Thanks." He looked like he had something else to say, but instead of just letting it spill, he just kinda fidgeted for a few seconds more. "It's good having you home, Mike. Really. Sometimes it's like I don't have anybody to talk to....you know...about....'stuff'."
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing!" He snapped back. "I just...I kinda missed you. That's all."
"Whatever. I missed you too. Now get out of my room." I smiled. "Oh, and in case you were wondering whether or not I was going to get you back for scaring me half to death...I most definitely will. So keep that in mind every time you walk past a half open door over the next week and a half."
"No you won't, I'm too good for you. Just admit it."
"Ok. We'll see." I told him, and then I saw him fidget just a bit more. It was so strange, as Andy was usually the one to blurt things out right away. I guess little insecurities kick in for everybody once the hormones start pumping. But he just left shortly after and closed the door behind him. He's becoming a major weirdo these days.
The next morning came quickly, and I took a long hot shower, preparing for a marathon sex fest that I was hoping would leave me both sore and satisfied by the end of the day. I was already getting hard just thinking about it. I did manage to keep my eye out, just in case Andy was up to one of his dirty little tricks. But I guess we were at a temporary truce until I gave him his 'free ride' to his friend's house. Which meant that I got a chance to relax my nerves a bit. At least until I found a good opportunity to freak him out so bad that he never pulls another scare tactic on me again. Mom and Dad made us a quick breakfast and went out to go do their church yard sale thing. They actually tried to get ME to drop by for a little while. A politely offered request that I managed to dodge like a fucking bullet in the Matrix! Nooooooooo church work for me today! I'm looking to break as many commandments as I can before the sun sets!
I waited for Andy to get himself together, looking at my watch every five minutes as he took a super long extended shower. Jesus! What is that kid doing in there? Not even masturbation takes that long! Finally he came out with his damp hair neatly tucked behind both ears, smelling like a newborn baby, and dressed up like he was going to model clothes for Calvin Klein. "Are you READY now?" I asked him.
"What? It's like 12:15, chill out."
"It's 12:18, actually...and if I had been the bus, you would have just missed your ride, buddy boy." I told him, and splashed on a little aftershave. Amy loves the smell of aftershave. We started towards the door, and I noticed that Andy wasn't carrying anything with him. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Well...I don't know. Don't you usually bring a bag of tricks with you everywhere you go? Video games, controllers, strategy guides, notebooks, and all that shit?"
"Don't be childish. Let's just go." He said, and walked past me to go out the back door. Hehehe, did my little brother just call ME childish? It's ONLY been three months! Who knew the munchkin could mature so damn fast?
"Well, excuse me." I mumbled to myself. We got into my car, and he was practically bouncing around like a little puppy on his first car ride. This 'Devon' kid must have had some set up at his house for Andy to be so damn excited to see him. I was actually kinda curious to see this new 'best friend' of his, but the second I pulled up to his house, Andy jumped out of the car before it even came to a complete stop, and told me he'd see me later.
He shut my car door and asked, "So you're not coming home until late, right?"
"Well, not TOO late. But I probably won't make it in time for dinner."
"Ok. And...when do you think Mom and Dad will come back?" He asked.
"Umm...a couple hours I suppose." I said with a confused look.
"A couple of hours? So you think like...around four o'clock or something?"
"I don't know. Why?"
He shook his head and said, "Forget it. It's nothing. I'll see ya later! Thanks for the ride, you're awesome!" And he skipped away from my car to ring the bell. That boy gets more weird by the hour.
I drove on over to Amy's house and pulled up in her driveway. I double checked my breath, triple checked my hair, and got ready to make a sexy appearance at her front door. However, while my eyes were expecting to see the lovely bod and soft breasts of my cheerleader girlfriend...what came to the door was...um...NOT that! Instead, there was a very large man...and I mean 'large', with a beer gut hanging out of his heavily stained white wife beater t-shirt. He had enough stubble on hi face to almost qualify as beard, but not quite, and had what looked like muffin crumbs in his moustache. And then he had on these cutoff jean shorts that seriously just made you almost scream out loud, 'OH, WHAT THE FUCK???' Yeah...that pretty much ruined my sexual appetite for the next hour or so.
"You sellin' something?" He said, a deep voice grumbling out of what little neck he had.
"Uhhh...is Amy home?"
The hog beast looked me up and down, and then shouted out, "AMY! Some 'boy's' at the door for you."
He stood right there, staring me in the face and refusing to open the screen door to let me in until she got there. She had to squeeze past his belly just to come out and see me. "Hey!" She said with a smile, and she hugged me around the neck as the big man went back to spread his titanic ass back out on the living room couch "Wow...how ARE you, Mike?"
I gave her a weird look, and peeked back at the manatee sprawled out on her couch. "I'm...I'm good. Really good. Great, in fact." Then I looked her in the eye, seeing her trying to cover up a shit eating grin. "Soooo....what's going on? I kinda thought...you were gonna have the house to yourself today. What happened?"
She cringed a bit and said, "I know...Mike, I'm sorry! Really! My dad kinda found out that we were supposed to spend the weekend together, so..."
"So he left you with a 'bodyguard'???" I said.
"It's my Uncle Joey. He didn't want me doing any 'fooling around' while he was making deliveries out of town today."
"THAT'S your Uncle Joey? The one that used to run TRACK in high school???" I gasped.
"Yeah...." We both looked at him again as he finished off a warm beer, and burped with enough inner gas to cloud the room! "...He's mellowed out since then."
"Buuuut...he's gonna leave soon, right? Because you worked out some kind of miraculous plan for us to be alone?"
"Mike...I can't." She said, and I felt my spirit sink instantly. "I'm sorry! Really I am! I had this whole weekend planned out for us, and then my dad read my text messages on my phone to my friend Sarah, and everything got all..." She began to get emotional on me, and I didn't want her to think that I blamed her for it or anything. So I just tried to think of an alternative.
"Well...I've got the car. I mean...maybe you and me could 'go' somewhere? My house is empty for a few hours if you wanna get some alone time." I held her lightly around the hips and placed a kiss on her lips. But I heard 'Uncle Joey' clear his throat, and I had to put some space between us.
"I can't. He won't even let me leave the house with you. He's a total nazi about me getting pregnant" She said, making my eyes widen.
"When have we not been careful? We ALWAYS use protection..."
"I know, I know...but my Dad and Joey are just using the whole 'accidents happen' concept as an excuse to keep me from having any sex at all. They said no babies until after college."
"This is ridiculous..." I sighed, trying not to seem to frustrated. Even if I could feel my balls turning a pretty shade of blue as I was standing there.
"I'll make it up to you later, ok? I promise! After this weekend, I'll find a way to sneak out. But..."
"But for now, no nookie for the kid?" I said, and she slowly shook her head. Great. So much for my weekend of hot passionate 'catch up' sex.
"Look, I'll call you the SECOND that I can get away, ok? I PROMISE!" She said, and Uncle Joey cleared his throat again, as if to tell her that our less than intimate conversation was taking too long.
"It's alright. I'll call you this week some time then. K?"
"Thanks for understanding, Mike. I love you." She said with another quick kiss.
"Love you too." I would have liked to say good bye to Uncle Joey and say that it was nice meeting him, but...you know...why lie?
I drove home feeling the disappointment weighing me down, forcing me to look forward to a couple days of total boredom. I'm sure Andy will be happy to hear it though. Dammit....now I'm horny. I'm gonna wear her out the first chance we get, I swear.
I pulled up to the back of the house, but I had forgotten to put the garage door remote in my car before I left. In fact, I had pretty much forgotten that I had taken it out when I went away to college. So I decided to just make it easy and park on the street somewhere. I guess everybody was home for the holidays, and had visitors on top of it, because parking was nearly impossible. I finally found somebody pulling out of a spot about a block away from the house, and decided to take it before I lost the chance. Then I walked home and kicked off my shoes. Ah well, if nothing else, I could have some peace and quiet. And...once I use it to jack off like CRAZY...I'll be able to enjoy that!
I had myself a nice 'squirt', and then watched TV for about a half hour. It was nice to stretch out and not have to worry about anything for a little bit. Something I felt I could do even better downstairs with the big screen in the living room. So I got up and turned my TV off, and walked out of my room. Just as I was coming down the stairs, I heard some voices outside of the front door.
I heard a key in the lock, and knew that it had to be Andy and one of his friends from the way he was practically 'dragging' the poor boy in through the door. "Come on! It's ok!" Andy said with a grin.
"Are you sure this is ok?" The other boy asked.
"Yep! Don't worry, Devon! My brother's gone, my parents are gone...we've got the whole house to ourselves! For, like, HOURS!" He told him.
Ohhhh, this is TOO good! Andy is definitely up to some kind of mischief, and I'm gonna nail the little punk for it! Hehehe, the bigger the trouble, the better! Then a wicked thought crossed my mind. More sinister than all the others. Not only am I gonna mess up his little private party...but I'm gonna get my revenge by scaring the living SHIT out of him and his buddy, Devon! He's gonna jump right out of his skin! I won't get a better opportunity than this.
I quietly crept back away from the stairs and looked for a place to hide. I could literally jump out of any corner up here and get the desired effect, but I wanted him to get TOTALLY comfortable before I sprung out like the goddamn boogie man! I looked for a place to hide. A GOOD place. His closet! I could hide in his closet in his room. He's gonna bring that boy up here eventually, and that's the perfect place to catch him. Hahaha, this weekend isn't going to be so boring after all. No WAY he's topping this one!
"Mom?" Andy called from downstairs, just making sure that the coast was clear. "Dad? Mike?" With no answer, he got the hint, and I stopped hearing any kind of noises at all for a moment.
So I moved stealthily into his bedroom, and stepped into the darkness of his closet. I left it open just a crack so I could see out of it, and there were horizontal slats in the door that would give me an idea of where there were in the room so I could find the right moment to launch my attack.
I waited for a minute or two, wondering what the heck was taking them so long. I could see if they had turned on the TV downstairs or something, but they weren't even talking. It made me wonder if maybe he had figured me out, and was looking for me. But, after a few more minutes of waiting, I heard footsteps coming upstairs. This was it. I had to get ready. I wanted to scream LOUD! This has to be the scare of the century!
"I don't know, Andy. What if somebody comes home?" I finally got a look at this Devon kid. He was certainly a little heartbreaker. Nicely styled, short blond hair, light blue eyes...he looked almost 'pretty' to be honest. Maybe a year or two older than Andy, but who really keeps track of their friends' ages when you go to the same high school, you know?
"NOBODY'S coming home! Hehehe, relax My brother's gonna be smooching with his girlfriend all day long. I double checked the garage, both cars are gone. We're fine." Andy assured him "And even if they do, we can hear anybody drive up to the house, AND we can hear the door if it opens downstairs. We'll have plenty of warning either way."
Curiosity took over, and I thought that this was WAY Too good to miss out on! What is he up to? Did they find some porno mags? Maybe they snuck some booze out of Devon's parents house? Or maybe...maybe they're gonna spark up a joint or something? It's gotta be something big for Andy to go so far out of his way to keep it such a secret.
"Ok. If...if you say so." Devon said nervously.
"Now come here. I've been waiting all week for this. I want it." Andy said with a smirk, and Devon stepped closer to him. Ok, so this is it. I'll wait until they reveal the big mystery, and then I'll do it!
I put my hand on the closet door, ready to jump out any second, and then...then...something went...'wrong'.
Devon stepped toward my 13 year old baby brother, and ran his hands softly through his hair while Andy placed his hands on the other boys waist. They shared an intimate look with one another...and I...I think my heart stopped. I mean, my eyes knew what they were seeing, but I don't think my brain was really able to process what was going on here. It just looked....weird and wrong. Backwards. Almost surreal. Andy tugged gently at Devon's belt, bringing them even closer...and then they...they KISSED each other! On the LIPS!
And...and not just a little peck on the lips either! But a big, passionate, HUNGRY kiss, that little Andy looked as though he had been waiting his whole life for! I found it hard to breathe. I felt my hand shaking, and quickly took it off of the closet door for fear that I might open it by mistake. My brother Andy is...he's GAY??? Since when is he GAY??? I don't remember him being GAY when I left for school!!! What the fuck was going ON here? Is...is this Devon boy RAPING my little brother??? But just as the thought crossed my mind, I heard Andy moan and whimper out loud, their lips smacking as they tongue kissed and rubbed themselves all over with both hands. Devon doesn't seem to be...'forcing' Andy to do anything. I mean, Andy looked twice as excited as he was. And when they started grabbing each other's asses and kissing even harder, I felt a wave of sheer TERROR wash over me out of nowhere, and all I could think of was getting out of that room without being noticed. This was NOT a good idea! NOT a good idea at ALL!
Omigod...they're STILL kissing! Oh...oh shit...ok...I can't let him know I'm in here I can't...I mean...this is not the way to find out about....um....this. Shit! I looked back through the crack in the door...and they were STILL fucking making out like crazy! And now they both had boners and....UGH! BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA!!!
I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be watching this.
"Mmmmm...damn baby...you look good today." Andy said, a sensual growl in his young voice. I could have gone my whole life without hearing my brother say that to another guy.
"You want it? Hmmm? You've been needing it, haven't you?" Devon said in response.
"Oh GOD, yes. I want it." Andy whimpered again, undoing Devon's belt and pulling his pants open while Devon ran his hands back and forth over Andy's head. And as he lowered Devon's pants and underwear to the floor, he got down on his knees in front of him. Devon's erection sprang up, and bounced eagerly in front of Andy's waiting lips...and just as I saw my brother open his mouth to take it inside, I turned my head away and closed my eyes as tight as I could! Omigod....Andy's sucking dick! He's sucking dick right in FRONT of me! I refused to look, but Devon was moaning like it was the most incredible mind-lowing sensation that he had ever felt. I could hear slurping noises, and Andy purring with enjoyment as he took it in as deep and sucked on it as hard as his young lips would allow.
I held my breath. I did NOT want them to find out I was there! That would be the most disturbing thing ever...them knowing that I was here watching this right now! I peeked back for a second, and actually saw the teens boner sliding all the way into Andy's mouth until his nose was buried in his sparse nest of pubes. Then he pulled off and started sucking on his balls. Ohh EWWWWW! He's obviously done this before! They've, like, had PRACTICE! Jesus! No no no, this is NOT happening! I looked away again, and almost knocked over my brother's hockey stick in the closet. I was able to catch it before it made any noise, but at this point, I had to wonder if my heart was beating hard enough to be heard around the BLOCK!
"Shit, Andy...you're gonna make me cum in your mouth..." UGH! NO!!! "You wanna drink it? Huh? You wanna drink my cum?"
"Mmmm...unh unh...not yet." Thank GOD! "Take your clothes off. I want you to fuck me." He wants Devon to *WHAT*???
I heard the sound of clothes being dropped to the floor, and when I peeked back through the door, they were both completely naked and hard as rocks. My nervous jitters got even worse, and I just wanted it to be OVER so I could get out of there! They got on the bed together, and their naked bodies just kinda...wrapped around one another in the most loving way. I mean...it was two BOYS, but...I dunno...it almost looked 'normal', you know? Their lips connected, and they kissed and rolled around for a while, feeling each other up and sliding their bodies up against each other...and there I was stuck in the closet. To scared to watch, too scared to look away. And somewhere between peeks, I saw Devon fingering Andy's asshole, and nearly fainted!
What the FUCK??? I didn't even know kids...DID this at 13 years old! I mean...sure I knew what sex was, but I didn't get any until I was 17. I should...I should stop this. I really should just...like, come out and say something. But I was just too damn scared of the kind of uproar it would cause in our relationship as brothers.
Gee....now that I think about it...it was quite the ironic metaphor. It's Andy who's secretly gay and laying naked with another boy on the sheets Grandma bought him last Christmas...and I'M the one who's scared to come out of the closet and say something because of how it might affect everybody. How backwards is THAT?
I directed my eyes to the floor, trying to busy my mind with something else...ANYTHING else...and then I heard Devon say, "K, you ready?"
"I'm SO ready!"
I heard some shuffling on the bed, and then I heard Andy moan really loud. Something about it sounded almost desperate, and it caused me to look. Andy was on his knees, ass in the air, and his face down on the pillow....with Devon behind him, licking his ass and eating him out like his life depend on it. They both were REALLY into it, and Andy was wiggling his smooth little butt in circles, pushing back on Devon's face while Devon reached between his legs, tugging slowly on Andy's hardness with a firm grip. I quickly slammed my eyes shut again, as this kept going on for another few minutes. They're tossing salads TOO??? Isn't that, like...the ADVANCED class of sex for kids 101??? My brother actually began to BEG for Devon to climb on top of him, and after a few moments of shifting and positioning...I heard Devon enter my brother from behind, and they both nearly screamed from the pleasure of getting what they both wanted.
I made sure not to look for the next few minutes. But I couldn't block out the sounds if I wanted to. The soft patter of flesh hitting flesh. The boyish whimpers of a boy lost in lust. The creaking springs of the mattress. And occasionally, Devon would say something like, "Yeah baby....take it. Take all of it. God you're so tight! Mmmm! Shit!" Then I heard him say, "Turn that pretty ass of yours over. Oooh, yeah, spread it for me. Oh God, let me just....ahhh...sweet, tight ass..."
I looked again to see my brothers legs on Devon's shoulders, knees on his chest, as they kissed passionately and Devon continued to pump in and out of him even faster than before.
What must have been only fifteen minutes worth of gay sex seemed to go on for an ETERNITY for me! But at long last, I heard both boys get 'wild' with their moaning and movements. And I heard Andy say, "Oh God...I'm cumming!" And soon, both boys were blasting off while I shut my eyes and put my fingers in my ears to block out all the senses I could. I was still shaking. Trembling with the worry and concern for this....this....truth And now that both boys had enjoyed an explosive orgasm together, they were just laying there, kissing and cuddling on the bed. And I wanted them to just...go away. Just leave so that I could 'escape' this for a little while.
I just remember my mind going back to memories of my little brother growing up and all the good times that we had together. The time when I accidentally hit him in the forehead with a rock from my slingshot. And the time he broke Dad's car window, and I took the rap for him so he and Danny could go to the circus that weekend. And I remember water balloon fights, and a few dead goldfish, and seeing him hit a home run for the first time in Little League. I mean...Me and Andy were always so close. I mean....he's just a little BOY for crying out loud! How did he go from that to wanting to get rammed by another boy two years older than him? When did he get old enough to say words like 'fuck me' and 'I want it'? I mean...how the fuck did I MISS this???
I heard some more stirring, and some more kissing. And then Andy asked, "What are you doing? You don't have to get dressed if you don't want to. My parents won't be home until almost four o'clock."
"I know. But...just to be safe, I should get going. I mean...I've got stuff to do today anyways, so..." Devon started putting on his clothes, but Andy whined for him to stay.
"Noooooo...come on. That was only one time. I wanna do some more. I wanna suck you all day long." Arrrgh!
"I can't. Really. K?" He told him.
There was a silence, and Andy asked him, "So...you're still gonna go to Stacy's house tomorrow?"
"Come on, dude. Don't start that."
"What? I just think...I mean...why do you still need a girlfriend?" There wasn't an answer at first, and then Andy added, "I mean...we're like...'together' now, right?"
"Yeah. Sure thing."
"So...?" Andy was pushing, but whether he recognized it or not, I could tell by the tone of Devon's voice alone...that this wasn't what Andy thought it was. "Why do you need a girlfriend?"
"I don't. I'm just...we're gonna talk about it later." Andy gave him a roll of his eyes, but he kept his smile. "I can't break up with her before Christmas, Andy. I just need some time, that's all. It's practically over already. We hardly talk to each other any more."
I saw Andy smile with excitement, and he bounced his way over to the edge of the bed. "Cool! I can't wait. I love you, Devon."
"Yeah. Thanks..." Devon said. "You too."
The next few minutes went by in a blur. I do remember Andy being so turned on that he actually unzipped Devon again and took another few minutes to almost suck him to another orgasm before allowing him to leave. And then he came back into the room, reached in a drawer for a pair of fresh boxers, and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. I had to wait for the water to start running before I knew it was safe, and then I opened the closet door. I crept out carefully, looking at the tussled bed sheets and smelling the fragrance of 'boy on boy' sex in the air. And I was quick to get my ass OUT of that house before he caught me or figured out that I was ever there!
What I did for the next few hours, I couldn't tell you if I tried. I just got back in my car and just...'drove'. Every red light was an extended moment of meditation for me, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't scratch the images of what happened out of my mind. Looking at Andy...talking to him, laughing with him, being close to him for so long...I NEVER in a million years would have figured him for a homosexual. NEVER! I mean...Andy was a normal kid! He liked video games and SPORTS and...helping Dad build stuff in the basement! There was nothing 'gay' about him. But the more I thought about it, the more it stressed me to think that maybe I had been missing the signs from the very beginning. Maybe that's why Danny isn't so keen on coming over any more. Hell, maybe this explains a lot of shit that my mind isn't ready to deal with yet. Either way...there was no denying that Andy enjoyed...'whatever that was' with Devon. And he had probably done it before. And he was probably going to do it again. And there was really nothing that I could do about it.
Believe it or not, I took comfort in that. Because I doubt that I'd have the guts to do anything about it if I could.
When I came back that night, Mom and Dad were already home, and Andy was up in his room listening to music. I walked up the stairs, and looked at his closed bedroom door from down the hall for a second before going into my own bedroom. The weird thing is...despite the somewhat shocking events of the afternoon...Andy went right back to being his adorable self. He later came in to bounce on my be and gave me a hug. His smiles were the same, his jokes were the same, his gestures were identical to the boy that I thought I knew yesterday. He was so unchanged, in fact, I almost started to doubt that I had seen him and Devon having sex at all. But as hard as I tried, I just couldn't look at him the same way. There was a barrier between us now that had never been there before. His secret...and my secret of knowing about his secret. And for me....that just made things 'awkward'. Being uncomfortable around Andy wasn't something that either one of us was used to, and when he started to notice me withdrawing from him a bit more...I thought it would be best to just stay away from him altogether.
NOT because he was gay. I mean...theshock hasn't really worn off yet, so I don't even know what that MEANS for us yet. But it's not like I didn't want him to 'touch' me or anything. I just..I didn't know what to SAY to him! I felt like he could see it in my eyes, hear it in my voice...and I didn't want him to know what I know. I could barely look him in the face. But he must have had a lot of practice holding the secret in, because his presentation of normality was 'flawless' He was acting as though he hadn't had his butt pounded just hours ago, and while keeping that secret may be a well rehearsed routine for him...it was a whole other ballgame for me.
Things didn't change until a few days later, when our parents took us to the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
The place had been all dolled up for the holidays, and Christmas music was playing everywhere we went. Andy was happily chatting away with me as always, and the parents were just trying to avoid being bombarded with product placement and pushy salesmen trying to make all the last minute holiday bucks they could before the corporate slave drivers did their numbers for the year. And...somewhere from across the room, I managed to catch a sight that I just didn't want to see.
Sitting over by a fountain, in the middle of the mall, was Devon. I couldn't forget his pretty face, even if I wanted to. And seeing it again made me tense up immediately Andy hadn't seen him yet, but what disturbed me more than anything...was that he was sitting there with a blond girl who was just as 'pretty' as he was. And from the way they were looking at each other...it didn't take much more of a hint to know what was going on. I just didn't want Andy to see it.
"Dude! Did you see the fat Frosty the Snowman display over at the toy store?" Andy beamed happily. "I am SO gonna tackle that thing if the manager takes his eyes off of it! Hehehe!" He had no idea. None at all.
"Hey, Andy...why don't we go back the other way and hit the arcade? You want to? It's my treat!" I said, hoping to keep his attention.
"Arcade?" He said with a weird look. "Mike, people don't go to arcades any more. That place is a GRAVEYARD! Hehehe! You can play people online now, hellooo?" He smiled. I reached for his hand, but he shrugged away from me. "Hehehe! What are you doing?"
"Why don't we...uhh..just go grab something to eat in the food court, then? Are you hungry?"
Our parents turned around, and Mom asked, "You boys wanna get something to eat? You can go. Here. Here's a couple of bucks. Just meet us back here at the fountain in a half hour, alright?"
Nooooo, Mom! DON'T point out the fountain!
Then Dad made it even worse by saying, "Hey, Andy...isn't that your friend, Devon, over there?" FUCK!!! What did he do THAT for???
Andy looked over, and saw Devon over by the fountain...just as he leaned in...and started kissing the girl he was worth. It was as if God had timed it JUST right to break the poor boy's right there in front of everybody. I could feel Andy's body temperature drop to absolute zero as his smile faded and his eyes attempted to write the whole thing off as some kind of nightmarish illusion. I lowered my eyes to my feet, and....dammit...I REALLY felt bad for him. Devon and the other girl kept making out, not a care in the world, and Andy's once lively spirit seemed to suddenly collapse in on itself. I don't think I had ever seen him so broken So lost. So helpless.
My father said, "Looks like he's got himself a pretty girl to entertain him today, huh?" Then he rubbed Andy's head, "Maybe you can ask if she's got a pretty friend, Andy. You guys can double date." But Andy didn't say a word.
My mom elbowed my father in the side, "Don't STARE! Let them have fun. I think it's cute."
My mom handed us money, and our parents walked off to continue shopping. But Andy just watched his....boyfriend make out with another girl for another few minutes, and when his eyes began to water up, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Sooo...you wanna eat, or...?" But he shrugged away from me completely, and hid his face. "Andy...Andy, wait up ok?"
"I'll be back."
"Where are you going?"
"I have to use the bathroom." He sniffled.
"I'll meet you by the food court." He said, his voice trembling as he began to break down. He hurried into one of the mall bathrooms, and I thought about following him and maybe...I don't know, 'talking' to him about it or something. But I didn't know exactly how to bring that conversation up. I mean...it's not exactly an easy topic to approach. Especially when I'm not supposed to know what the hell I'm talking about.
So what else could I do? I went to the food court...and I waited for him to join me.
His eyes were blood red when he came to the table. He had no appetite. He didn't want to talk to me. He sulked and pouted the entire time and nearly broke into tears again. I tried to give him an 'opening' by asking if he was ok, and all he said was, "I just wanna go home. I don't wanna be here."
And that was that. He was quiet for the rest of the afternoon. He was dead silent in the car on the way home. And when we got back to the house...he went directly to his room...and he shut the door. I didn't have a way to connect with him on this one. I didn't have any way to communicate my sympathy to his battered heart. Jesus...I couldn't even console him and let him cry on my shoulder because....ARRRGHHH!!!...I'm not supposed to know! But later on that night, I heard Andy on the phone, and it broke my heart too.
"Yes you DID, Devon! I SAW you! I SAW you!" He said into the phone from behind the closed door. His voice had so much pain in it. After all the knee scrapes and slingshot wounds and bloody noses that kid has had over the years...I had never heard so much pain in his voice. "But WHY??? I thought we..." He said. "This isn't FAIR! Devon, I told you how I feel! Why are you doing this?" I heard him beginning to sob, sniffling more as his breaths got shorter and shorter by the second. "You don't even LIKE her!" Andy told him. "Who CARES what people think? Wouldn't you rather just be with me instead?" There was a long pause, and Andy's crying got worse. "Then why did you USE me like that??? Why did you make me feel like....NO!...NO, I don't believe you!" Then he shouted, "Well, FUCK you then!!! Go be with your JOKE of a girlfriend! See if I care!" And he hung up the phone. I didn't dare open his door. I didn't dare knock at it either. But when I heard him fling himself on the bed and start crying, I decided to move away and leave him to his emotions for a while. I didn't know what else to do.
An hour past. And then another. Andy's door never opened once, the entire time. I could occasionally hear him blowing his nose, but that was it. It made me remember my first few heartbreaks. My God...were they ever devastating. But for Andy? To find a cute boy like that who was willing to have sex with another guy...and then leave him for the sake of being with a more 'socially acceptable' girlfriend...that had to be like a rusty knife in the heart. And after a while, I just couldn't STAND it any more!
I couldn't just let him...suffer all alone like that. I got up, and I knocked lightly on his bedroom door. "Andy?"
"Please, just go away, ok? I don't feel good." He said back, his voice strained from crying.
"Can I just talk to you for a minute?"
"Come back later, ok, Mike? Seriously." I could have honored his request, but my heart wouldn't let me. So I slowly opened the door.
"Hey..." I said softly, and closed the door back. Andy was laying on his bed, curled up like a baby, with his face in the pillow.
"Mike...I just wanna be alone right now, ok?"
"I know." I said, but I moved forward and sat down next to him on the bed anyway. I still couldn't believe that he was having SEX on this same bed just a few days ago! But I pushed that image aside and tried to bring my baby brother some comfort in his time of need. "Listen...I mean...if you ever wanna talk..."
"I DON'T wanna talk! Alright? Just leave me alone!" He sobbed.
I sat perfectly still for a moment. Not knowing what the hell I had planned to do to take the pain away. Not knowing what the hell I could possibly say to make this hurt any less than I'm sure it already was. But I instinctively reached out a tender hand, and let it rest on his back as he cried into the pillow. I mustered up a bit of courage and said, "You know...sometimes...guys can be....well, assholes." I started. I didn't know where I was going. I just let my love for my little brother guide me. "Sometimes people just...they do whatever they can to get...what the 'want'. You know? And...they don't care who it hurts. It's just...really stupid, I guess."
Andy rolled slightly to pull away from my hand. "What are you talking about? Can you just go away? PLEASE?" He said with tears running freely down his cheeks again. His throat was so hoarse from weeping so much, and despite my efforts, he just didn't want me to touch him at all He pulled away from me every time, pushing my hand off with his own until finally I stopped trying.
"Andy...you know..." How do I approach this? HOW? "...I know you said that you felt like you didn't have anybody to talk to...but you know you can always 'call' me right? Or send me an email. Or even come visit if you want to. I mean...if....'things' around here ever get too hard to...you know...figure out...you can always count on me. You know that."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Not this time, Mike. Believe me. Not this time."
"Well, yeah, this time too. I mean...if you wanna talk, Andy, I'm right here. I meant it."
Another pause. A long silence, but a productive one, I assumed. I could almost hear his wheels spinning, and I just...I wanted so BAD for him to say it. Just to get it out of the way for the BOTH of us so we could go back to being siblings again. Instead of...strangers with secrets. "Mike...?"
"Yeah?" I said with baited breath. But then he stopped again and more tears ran down his cheeks. He felt so ashamed. As though he was letting me down. But he WASN'T! I swear to GOD, he wasn't! I know that I reacted kinda...'weird' to the whole thing at first, sure! But right now...sitting on that bed with my poor brother feeling so destroyed inside...all that mattered to me was making him feel better again. That was my 'Andy' laying there with tears in his eyes. Not some gay label or stereotype. There was nothing 'wrong' with him other than he put his trust in someone who didn't deserve it. Why should that be his fault? "Andy, come on, talk to me." I pleaded.
"I...I can't..." He whined.
"Yes, you can. Just...tell me. Ok? I promise you it'll be ok. I promise." But he didn't speak. In fact, when I touched his shoulder again, he began to bawl into his pillow even harder than before. It was too much for him to take. And even though I tried to give him all the pressure free hints that I could...he just couldn't say it out loud. So...I took a leap of faith. "Andy......I 'know'. Ok?"
"No you don't."
"Yeah. I...I do." I said. I rubbed his shoulder for a few seconds, and I don't know how the message was conveyed...but he suddenly popped up to a sitting position and stared at me in horror.
"You KNOW? Wait...what do you know?"
"About..." I stopped. Not wanting to say it myself. Jesus, it was HIS secret, and *I* couldn't even say it. "..About you. And about Devon. I...'know'."
More tears ran out of his eyes. "How??? How do you know? Oh GOD, do Mom and Dad know???"
"No, no...don't panic. Just...I understand, ok? And if this is one of those things that you ever need to...you know, 'talk' about..I'm here for you, k?" I told him. And without any impulse control whatsoever, Andy suddenly lunged forward and hugged me tight around the neck until I could barely breathe!
"Omigod, Mike, I'm so so so so soooooo sorry! I didn't want anybody to know! I didn't know what to do! I just...I didn't..." He was sobbing and babbling at a million miles a minute and all I could think about was trying to get some 'oxygen' to travel through the small area that Andy left for my windpipe to work with.
"Wait...wait...you're choking me..." I said, and lightly pushed him off with a smile. He sat back against his headboard. His eyes had REALLY been given a work out over the last few hours. It seemed to age him almost twenty years from the puffiness alone. "Ok...so, do you want to talk now, or what?" I asked him.
"Ummm...I don't know. About what?"
"About anything, I guess. Just...let it all out."
"You wanna know everything?" He asked.
"Sure." I said at first, and then I looked over at the closet door, and changed my answer. "Well..you know...not EVERYTHING! Just...give me a very very VAGUE description. Ok?" I told him, and then added, "VERY vague!"
And believe it or not, a little smirk appeared on his lips. And that began a conversation that lasted until 4 AM the next morning. Just the two of us, talking about this whole other 'life' of his that I knew nothing about. About kids in his class, and feelings he had, and what he was scared of more than anything. He told me about Danny thinking that he was getting weird, and about how he's afraid to go to gym class because seeing other boys half naked makes him horny. There were some parts that I still really REALLY didn't want to know. Especially when it came to him and Devon. But...just listening to him talk, and ask questions, and confess feelings that he's been hiding for oh so long...it was more than worth it. I could just feel the release. And by the time we went to bed, he was smiling again. It was a sad smile, and nothing cures a heartache overnight...but Andy was so happy to have somebody hear his cries without judgment. And I was happy to see some of that life return to those sullen eye again.
We had been friends for a long time. But we were brothers for life. And by the time I had to go back to school, the lines of communication had been blown wide open. He writes me almost everyday now. Occasionally giving me a little TOO much information, just for the sake of seeing me squirm. I NEVER know what that boy's gonna say when I pick up that phone or open that email from his computer. Hehehe! I guess he's got a whole new 'scare tactic' now. I'm glad that he got over Devon, who I'm sure is trying hard to love his girlfriend 'mask' as much as he possibly can. What can I say, we make mistakes in love when we're teenagers. Hell, we make mistakes in love every time it happens, even as adults. But Andy's managed to get himself a brand new boyfriend since then. He sends me pictures of him every week, and cannot stop bragging on him. I swear, when I come home from Spring break, I am going to HAVE to meet this amazing boy! Another cutie. Andy's age, and one that really loves Andy for everything he's worth. Looks kinda like a young River Phoenix, believe it or not. Now, I'm not gay, but I can say without hesitation that my brother's got a damn fine taste in high school boys. And evidently he's having a lot of good luck snatching them up too! Can't help but to be proud of him, you know? Go for the gold! That's my boy!
Mom and Dad still don't know. That's a story for him to tell them when he's ready. But I DID tell him to make extra SURE that he checks every single room in that house before he decides to have his boyfriend over for some 'alone' time! EVERY room! TWICE! Just in case!
I don't think he ever understood why I made such a big deal out of it...but I'll be damned if I ever explain it to him. That's one 'oops' moment I'm taking to the grave with me. But if he's happy, then I'm happy. And I'll tell you...