Call it a flawless sense of intuition, but I knew my sister's new boyfriend was gay from the first time I laid eyes on him.
There's no real foolproof method of figuring people out in this way, but Blake never once deceived me. Not from the first handshake that he gave me two days ago when I came home from college. I was happy to finally be introduced to this stunning sweetheart that my sister, Laura, thought was so perfect. But I knew he was gay within minutes. The strange thing is, I think he could tell that I was gay too. I hadn't come out to anyone in my family yet, but sometimes it only takes a few seconds for one of us to recognize our own.
I was able to save up and travel back home for my sister's big birthday party that weekend. She invited all of her friends, and people from school that she sort of felt acquainted with, but mostly used them to pad the crowd and make the party seem as big as it possibly could be for popularity's sake. It was her sweet 16, she deserved a blow out. But...then there was Blake.
He was a full year and two months older than Laura was. Tall. Slim. With a smoldering set of dark brown eyes that really popped in contrast to his bleach blond hair. Bleach blond curls, to be exact. Neatly contained in a small nest above his pretty teen face, and a set of dimples that were on constant display due to his ever-ready smile.
I can see why my sister fell so hard for him so quickly. I would have too, had he been a part of my high school class.
My parents had a brunch for her during the day, with angel food cake and soda and a happy birthday song, delivered off key. But made themselves scarce for the actual party. They laid down a few house rules for safety's sake. Rules we threw out the window the moment we saw their car pull out of the driveway.
The music was cranked up just loud enough to keep the neighbors from complaining. Luckily, they were understanding, and didn't mind me using my newly acquired adult status to provide the party with some alcohol. Not a lot, mind you. It was one bottle, plenty of mixes to dilute it, and a little pony keg that wouldn't get much mileage at all once they all started sharing the limited supply like a bunch of puppies nursing at their mother's milk. I figured that was better than having them try to find way to bring their own, getting shitfaced, and wrapping their car around a streetlight somewhere.
Yeah, I'm a corruptor of innocence, but with a conscience.
As much as Laura enjoyed showing off her boyfriend, I kept noticing his eyes searching the room for someone else to talk to. A wandering gaze that often landed upon me...the target of its desire. I would catch him staring, and instead of looking away and lightly blushing like he did the first few times, he now had found the courage to smile and nod in my direction. Bashfully, at first. Then with the deliberate attempt to get my attention. He knew that I was Laura's brother, but I think his interest was pushing past being her special trophy boy for the evening. Such a thing should have made me uncomfortable.
But it didn't.
The idea, itself, was somewhat intriguing. Even arousing.
I couldn't help but to notice what an amazing baby twink he was. I know he won't be 18 for a few months yet, but with that cute face and athletic frame...his beckoning stare and alluring grin...it broke down the restrictions that I usually have about even entertaining such an idea. I found myself taking my dreamy thoughts to the very edge of a full blown sexual fantasy involving Blake and I finding a moment alone.
Thoughts that I had to make an effort to avoid. I mean, he's my sister boyfriend. This was all kinds of wrong.
I dedicated myself to evading his infatuated peeks and, instead, tried to move to other parts of the party where I wasn't in his direct line of vision. But, every time I migrated to an area where I thought he wouldn't exist...he popped up again. I was sure that he was following me on purpose. He had picked up on my hidden scent, and he tracked me to see just how close he could get to me before I pushed him away.
I went out to the back porch, where we were keeping the pony keg on ice. But, sure enough...a few minutes later, Blake stepped out the back door. Smiling as he caught sight of me once again.
"Hey. Jason, right? Sorry, I'm bad with names." He was being friendly enough, but the way he looked into my eyes was far beyond casual. It was broadcasting a very clear message that he had a hidden agenda behind making small talk with me. "So, what's up?"
Why did I allow this interaction to continue for as long as it did? We ended up talking for a half hour, with few interruptions. Maybe it was the idea of him that drove me so crazy. The fact that he was absolutely stunning was a bonus. And that boy had an ass on him that made me foam at the mouth! Hallelujah, for an ass that well sculpted. But I also found his shyness adorable. It was a timid approach, but aggressively pursued. A very cute conflict when you witness it.
However, I sensed a bit of danger when he began talking about the old ping pong table that my family kept out in the garage. It was an odd thing for him to bring up, but as I looked at the garage, and realized how private, how...isolated, it would be from the rest of the party...I experienced the thrill and the agony of what was going on here.
What if I went along with it? What if we escaped the party, and found ourselves alone...kissing. Touching. Gripping the firm mounds of his ass while grinding myself into him. What if we kept the lights off, and I found myself sliding his eager hardness in between my moist lips, servicing him until he splashed his heated seed across my tongue? Would it be his first time with another guy? Would it be his first time ever? The very idea was enough to force me to hide my erection, already growing to an obscenely visible length in my pants.
Luckily...my common sense kicked in. He may not be ready for that kind of passion just yet. Especially if he's still using my sister as a socially acceptable 'mask' in public. He may need a more time in the oven, so to speak. Maybe figure out who he is and what he wants, before some horny toad like me takes advantage of his base impulses and sends him down the wrong path.
Blake is a sweet guy. He deserves better than that.
So, when he offered to sneak off somewhere...I politely declined. "You know, I think I'm just going to head back inside. Maybe some other time, ok?"
He seemed to get a bit more assertive, saying, "Are you sure? It's just right over there. Hehehe, don't tell me you're scared of losing? I'm not all that great at ping pong. I just need somebody to play with." He gazed into my eyes again, as if to try to give me the green light to ravage him if I wanted to. But I let him down easy.
"I'm sure there are a lot of guys who would be flattered to go out to that garage with you, Blake." I said. "Just get yourself a good match first. K? Not everybody plays 'fair' when it comes to that kind of thing." With that, I gave him a warm hug, and left to go back in the house. He was a bit disappointed, but I hope he'll understand what I did a bit better later on. A boy like that is going to have more opportunities tossed his way than he's going to know what to do with in the near future. It's best that he has a stable foundation to stand on before he goes after them.
Some hearts are too fragile for the battlefield of love versus lust. I feel better knowing that his can be protected for just a bit longer.
Personally, I will always wonder what might have happened had I gone out to that garage with him. I still lose my breath, sometimes, when I think of swallowing his inches or burying myself into that tight, sexy, ass of his. But some fantasies are better in theory than in practice. I'd like to think I did the right thing.
Let's just hope that, one day, he's as gentle with my sister's heart as I was with his.