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    comicfan
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Inspired by - 5. Prompt 43 - First line

Okay this prompt asked you to use a first line. "Her laugh broke the silence" So based off that I bring you to Jacob's family.

Her laugh broke the silence. It had been so long since Jacob had heard the sound in the house he barely recognized it. The happy sound seemed odd in the silent house. He watched as his grandson stopped making funny faces at the little blonde angel whose happy giggles burst forth in high pitched joy.

“Sh, Grace, we’ll go outside and play. You don’t want to bother everyone,” Bobby said to his little sister. She continued to giggle and followed him to the door while their father watched over them. Jacob watched as Christopher hugged his kids and then shooed them toward the front door.

The sound of children is what has been missing from my life for years now. How long has it been since a child entered this house and laughed? How long has it been since my children were happy?

Jacob stared at his daughter’s children as they hurried outside where they could play. It reminded him of how his own children couldn’t wait to get out of the house as well. There were so many things he missed due to his wife’s illness.

“Dad, are you alright?”

A sad smile played on his lips. Am I alright? My wife died and for the first time in years my children happily return home to see me. Who knew that one person’s illness could ruin so much for so many.

“I will be, Margie. I’m so glad you came and brought the kids,” Jacob said as he looked across the kitchen table at his youngest daughter. She was young, pretty, and reminded of him of Mollie when she was young woman.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t have been in their lives, Dad. You know we would have been happy to have you but,” Margie broke off unable to look her father in the face.

“Our bitch of a mother would have made our lives as miserable as possible,” finished Trip angrily as he walked up and placed his hand on his sister’s arm. She looked up at him and smiled. They still were close and looked out for each other Jacob noted with pride.

Jacob could easily understand his children’s dislike of their mother. His main mistake had been working such long hours. He had thought the extra money would help them all but he wasn’t around when his wife’s illness began really to show itself. He wasn’t there to witness when she started to attack their children. By the time he realized that something was wrong with Mollie it was too late for their kids. He had discovered how she had belittled and beaten the kids so much that the moment they could leave home they did.

Funny, for most families the death of a mother brings tears of regret and loss. For my family, they cry in relief and happiness. I failed them all. Jacob shook his head sadly.

“The limo just pulled up, Trip. I guess it is time to head out to the cemetery,” Brock announced. He walked over and lovingly put his arms around Trip. Trip seemed to melt into his husband’s embrace. Jacob noted how Trip and Brock complimented one another, making him very content with everything that was happening in his children’s lives.

Christopher gathered up the kid’s jackets and kissed Margie on the cheek. She gently reached up and patted his arm. The look of love they shared warmed Jacob’s heart.

“I’ll wait outside and watch the kids,” stated Christopher as he walked outside to keep an eye on his children.

Jacob shook his head and slowly stood up. He had missed Margarita’s wedding and hadn’t been able to walk her down the aisle as he had always hoped to do. That was now seven years of constant regret for lost time with his daughter and her family. When Brock and Trip had gotten married in Boston two years ago, he had only found out because of a postcard they sent while on their honeymoon. His oldest daughter, Jeanette had refused to even travel home from Colorado for the funeral. She had barely managed to leave Jacob the short message he found on the answering machine.

“I love you, Dad. I really do, but I can’t do this. I can’t ever forgive her. I’m sorry.”

The sound of Grace’s laughter brought Jacob out of his memories. Margie walked over and put her arm in his and began to lead him toward the door. Trip walked over and gave his father’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as Brock checked to make sure the door was locked and the spare key was on his keychain.

Heading outside, Jacob spotted Grace and Bobby playing near their father which caused his face light up with a brilliant smile. It took the loss of my wife to bring my family back together. I am going to do anything I can to hold onto them and love them.

Grace spotted the group coming out of the house. She ran towards her mother and then paused. She slowly walked over to her grandfather and put up her little hands.

“Carry me, Grandpa.”

“Anything for you, Angel. Anything for you.”

Life and death can bring anything - Joy and pain, relief or regret. So Jacob is left feeling a bit of both at the end. What do you think? Was it a good use of the first line or did I miss the mark? Comments are always appreciated.
Copyright © 2011 comicfan; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Love this one. Love it to bits!!

almost brought me to tears the first time i read it. :)

sorry it took me so long to review, but... better late than never, ey? :)

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On 08/15/2011 03:42 PM, Frostina said:
Love this one. Love it to bits!!

almost brought me to tears the first time i read it. :)

sorry it took me so long to review, but... better late than never, ey? :)

I'm glad you liked it Frosty. This is one I wasn't sure people would respond to. Nice to finally have someone's take on it.
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Okay. I read this prompt in the forum. And I'd have to say that the first line kinda missed it. Yes, tension must have been around the room/atmosphere but I don't think the first line quantifies what was happening before it.

But for the story, I loved it. You write this family/romantic thing quite well. I actually envy that. I'm a sucker for that:).

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On 08/17/2011 04:09 AM, Michael9344 said:
Okay. I read this prompt in the forum. And I'd have to say that the first line kinda missed it. Yes, tension must have been around the room/atmosphere but I don't think the first line quantifies what was happening before it.

But for the story, I loved it. You write this family/romantic thing quite well. I actually envy that. I'm a sucker for that:).

The sound of happiness in a house that has been miserable. I thought it was a good way to bring it all together. Glad you liked the story though, even if the first line wasn't what you hoped for.
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I think it fit very well. Not only did the laughter break the immediate silence, it broke the silence that had filled the house from the lack of his family for years. Happiness is coming back into a house that was missing it because of the actions of one person. Honestly, I have similar issues as his kids so I think the story might resonate more with me than others but I totally think you hit the mark.

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On 08/18/2011 02:49 AM, Cia said:
I think it fit very well. Not only did the laughter break the immediate silence, it broke the silence that had filled the house from the lack of his family for years. Happiness is coming back into a house that was missing it because of the actions of one person. Honestly, I have similar issues as his kids so I think the story might resonate more with me than others but I totally think you hit the mark.
Thanks Cia. I didn't have to look to hard to find an idea for this one. It is close to home for me as well.
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