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    Dahawk
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Everything Changes - 1. Turbulent Times

Turbulent Times:


Brendan was sitting at home while his mom and dad are at work, and god knows where Alex is at. Brendan thought to himself, “I can clean up a bit and see if Cameron is home and maybe he can come over.” Brendan worried if Cam would still like him if he ever found out that he is gay, shrugging his shoulders he headed off to the bathroom to take a shower. After Brendan showered, he stood at the mirror staring at himself admiring how much he has filled out over the last few years. Brendan was smiling looking at his lean swimmers build, with his blonde hair and crystal blue eyes as he placed styling gel in his hair.

Brendan streaked into his bedroom and started rummaging through his clothes, settling a pair of beige baggy board shorts and a royal blue muscle shirt. Brendan sat on his bed thinking about Cam, “He’s so cute, he’s my height, and that skater style shaggy haircut makes me wanna run my hands through his hair. God what the hell Brendan, Cam will kick my ass if he knew what I’m thinking of him,” Brendan sighed, Cam and his dad are like part of the family ever since his mom died a few years ago, he has had a hard time adjusting. Our dads are police officers in the same department. He grabbed his cell phone off of the end table and speed dialed Cam, "Hey Cam, wanna come over?" I asked dreamily.

"Ya, my Dad is at work today and spending summer vacation by myself sucks ass," Cam said as he rushed around the room throwing on a pair of blue gym shorts, and a white Burrell City Police Department shirt.

"Ok dude, see ya in a bit," Brendan smiled as he ended the call and rushed downstairs.

Cam sat down on his bed to pull on his shoes and thought, “Thank god Brendan called I can't stand sitting at home by myself, all I can think of is my Mom,” He shook his head and stood up making his way out of the house. It only took Cam a matter of seconds to cross the yard and knock on Brendan’s door since they lived next door to one another. Cam lightly knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Hey Cam," Brendan said as he opened the door, grabbing Cam’s hand dragging him in the door.

"Hi,” Cam chuckled, “Glad to see you too, what do you want to do today? Oh and thanks for asking me to come over I felt like I was starting to lose my mind at home,” Brendan continued to drag Cam into the game room.

Brendan pulled Cam into a bear hug and said, "You know my dad gave you a key to the house and told you that we’re family,” Loosening the hug, “And you can come and go like everybody else does."

“I know that but it seems like I am always bothering you and Alex,” Cam sighed. “It’s just… I can't deal with sitting at home,” He mumbled, “God, I feel like a baby over getting anxious sitting at home by myself.” Brendan sat on the large overstuffed brown leather couch in the game room, yanking Cam down into it.

"Cam you’re my best friend and basically like a brother to me,” Brendan lightly punched Cam’s shoulder, “When you hurt I hurt dude, I would go through hell and back to protect you," Brendan said with a huge smile.

Cam thought to himself, “I know Brendan means it, but how does he stay so upbeat all the time?” Brendan never answered Cam’s original question so he repeated it. Cam chuckled as he thought to himself, “I swear sometimes the jokes people make about blondes applies to Brendan,” Brendan shot Cam a dirty look.

"I was thinking about maybe we do some gaming what you think?" Brendan asked as he bounced off of the couch.

"Ok, I guess that sounds good. Madden 2015?” Cam questioned Brendan as he continued hopping around.

Brendan jumped over the coffee table and smiled at Cam, “Sounds fine to me.”

“Is it cool if I take New England Brendan?” Cam questioned, which caused Brendan to roll his eyes.

Hell, you can have them,” Brendan laughed, “I'm the Steelers you know that," He tossed a controller to Brendan, “Let me show you how bad New England loses.”

*****

Another beautiful day and Derek was at work on patrol. They were driving through town, with the air conditioner cranked keeping the police cruiser quite comfortable.

"540 from dispatch," came across the police radio.

“540,” Derek answered and released the button on the microphone.

“Report of a disturbance at Dairy Queen parking lot," the dispatcher stated.

“Roger that 540 responding,” Derek stated as he reached for the emergency lights and sirens switch. Derek approached cautiously, and don't really see anything out of the ordinary. He got out of the car looking around, there are a few people talking, but nobody was arguing and one other person was keeping to himself. Derek approached a couple that was talking to see if they knew what was going on but they had no clue. He then approached the scruffy disheveled looking man, as gunshots rang out. Derek felt a searing burn in his chest and neck. He reached for my mic on the radio and hit the officer in distress button.

"540 status?" the dispatcher called out frantically over the radio.

Derek simply hit my distress button with the last of my strength. Laying on the ground gasping for breath Derek thought to himself, “God this can't be happening, Cam can't handle this, I got to get through this for him.”

“DISPATCH K9-1 en route to 540 can you confirm did he call officer down?” Aaron asked the dispatcher with unease.

“K9-1 after reviewing the O.I.D affirmative, we have paramedics being dispatched as we speak," the dispatcher said and the radio crackled.

Aaron reached down flipping on the emergency lights and sirens on immediately and punched the gas on his Ford Explorer. After thinking a moment Aaron keyed his radio and said, “Dispatch I need you to notify my chief of our current situation as soon as possible.”

“Roger K9-1 will do, get us an update as soon as possible" the dispatcher said struggling with emotion.

As Aaron approached the scene he radioed dispatch, “ K9-1 on scene.” Aaron reached back and gave Max's door a tug open. He sprung out quickly as he always does on a call. Max is a 2-year-old Black Belgian Malinois. Aaron grabbed Max’s lead and unholstered his gun holding it in his right hand, as he started cautiously walking away from the patrol car. A couple started to approach Aaron, but he ordered them to stop where they were.

The couple started rambling "The guy, he went around the back of the DQ building,” They were both pointing, “He has a revolver of some sort."

Aaron noticed Derek down on the ground bleeding, but he couldn't take time out to treat his friend while a criminal was running around there with a gun.

“Dispatch from K9-1, 540 is down step up all responding units code 3,” Aaron hastily called over the radio.

“Roger," is all the dispatcher said.

Aaron released Max from his lead and commanded seek. He followed behind Max with his weapon drawn, and expecting to have a showdown. Aaron was right, Max latched on to the guy with a gun as he was aiming it toward Aaron. He had no choice, Aaron double tapped two shots to center mass. The guy dropped to the ground immediately. Aaron checked for a pulse, but there was none. He immediately secured the perpetrator’s gun.

Aaron rushed back to Derek's side, he opened his eyes and he was struggling to breathe. Max was by Aaron’s side as he was applying pressure to the bullet wounds on Derek's chest and neck, he reached out for Aaron’s hand and squeezed it crying out, "Aaron, you take care of Cam, he deserves to be happy like he used to be,” Derek gasped, “Tell him I love him, and he was the last thing I talked about." Derek life faded before Aaron’s eyes.

Paramedics pulled onto the scene and immediately scooped up Derek, placing him on a backboard and rushed him to the trauma unit at Mercy Hospital.

Aaron was stuck waiting for the Chief and crime scene investigators, while his friend, his partner, his brother was being rushed to the hospital. “Where the fuck is everybody? It's like time is standing still,” Aaron thought to himself as he wiped his bloody hands on his uniform.

Chief Adams pulled in along with investigators as Aaron was securing Max in the truck. He gave them his report, was finally cleared to leave the scene.

“K9-1 to dispatch,” Aaron called over the radio.

"K9-1," the dispatcher said as you could hear the concern in his voice.

“K9-1 is clear of the scene out of service for the day I'm heading to Mercy, and then home,” Aaron stated with despair in his voice.

"K9-1 Roger prayers are with you and 540,” the dispatcher answered.

Aaron took out his cell and hit speed dial on the phone for home.

"Dad?" Brendan asked with concern.

Brendan, can you do me a favor? Go to Cam's and get him to come over to the house if he isn't there already and call Alex to come home and stay with you boys.” Aaron said with a hitch in his voice.

“Dad, what's going on?" Brendan asked worriedly.

“Just do it son I will explain when I know more,” Aaron said hastily.

"OK Dad, I love you," Brendan said in a distressed tone.

Through tears, Aaron said, “I love you too son,” and after the call ended Aaron slid his phone into his shirt pocket.

Brendan dialed Alex’s phone, “What’s up Brendan? I'm at Joey's and Dad knows I'm here.” Alex said.

“I don't know what is going on but I’m worried, Dad called and said you have to come home and stay with me and Cam. That's all I know Alex. Sorry to mess your day up!" Brendan said fighting back tears.

“Don't worry Brendan I'll be home in a bit if Dad said to come home. Love you, buddy,” Alex stated.

“Love you too Alex," Brendan hung up the phone with tears welled up in his eyes.

“Hey Joey, I gotta go I'm not sure what is goin on. But Dad said I needed to be with Brendan and Cam.” Said Alex.

“Hey no problem man, if ya need anything let me know, ok?" Joey said.

Thanks, man,” Alex called out as he went out the door.

At the hospital, "Trauma team 1 to ER STAT," bellowed over the intercom.

Mary hurried to ER entrance as an ambulance pulled up, the doors sprung open as a paramedic jumped out giving a report of a 40-year-old police officer with gunshot wounds to chest and neck. The other paramedic was drenched in blood. He was performing CPR on the officer as the team removed him from the rig, and moved to the trauma bay. Inside the trauma bay, Mary was able to see the officer was Derek, and her heart sank. She gave orders to nurses to get 2 addition bags of blood and run them wide open, to replace the blood loss. Mary tried to assess the damage that was done, while a nurse took Derek's gun belt, and secured it in the security office at the emergency room entrance. Mary checked the wound on Derek's chest she decided they had to open his chest in the trauma bay, or he stood no chance at all. As she opened Derek’s chest up Mary saw what she feared, the bullet had torn the aorta of the heart and nothing could be done. Her heart sank, knowing poor Cam lost yet another important part of his life.

A few minutes later Aaron rushed in the ER looking for Derek, as he saw Mary, she shook her head. Aaron had a look of defeat on his face, as tears started running down his face.

Mary walked up and hugged him and said, “Baby we gotta be strong for the boys and Cam.”

Aaron worked through his emotions to a degree. Aaron then said "I know love, I just hoped that you could have saved him, he was really bad at the scene. But I couldn't help him until I found the perp." Aaron looked at his bloodstained hands and shivered.

“Awe babe,” Mary wrapped her arms around Aaron, “You were with him I'm sure he knew what you were doing,” Mary said softly.

"Yeah he did,” Aaron’s shoulders slouched, “He said his last few words to me to give to Cam, and for us to take care of his boy," Aaron sniffled.

“You know Cam is part of our family, we will raise him and he will be loved by us as if he were our own. Plus you know the boys adore him.” Mary said in a hushed tone.

"I know I gotta head home and tell the boys what happened, and break the news to Cam,” Aaron cringed “I don't even know how he is gonna handle this." He shuddered as he thought of how to broach the subject with the boys.

“He will get through it as we all will, as a family,” Mary kissed Aaron, “I love you, babe, see you at home tomorrow unless you want me to try and find another trauma surgeon to cover.”

"No, I went out of service from the scene and the Chief said to take as much time as was needed to deal with Cam and to be cleared from the shooting," Aaron said as he turned to leave.

*****

Hey, Brendan any news as to what is going on?” Alex asked as he came into the house and looked at Brendan and Cam.

"NO!” Brendan snapped, “And I'm worried Dad never calls and does this," He said with a sigh.

“Hey Brendan and Cam, I see Dad's truck pulling in the driveway.” Alex watched out the window, “Guys something is really wrong. Brendan take Cam up to your room for a little while ok?” Alex said with concern in his voice.

"Ya, but let us know what is going on Alex your worrying me more," Brendan said almost in tears as he led Cam upstairs.

Aaron opened the door and Max bolted into the house still in his vest.

Alex thought to himself, “Which Dad never has on him when he comes home.” Max headed straight to Brendan and Cam.“Dad are you ok, you have blood all over your uniform?” Alex asked as he looked over his Dad.

"Alex where are the boys?" Aaron asked looking around the room.

“I sent them to Brendan's room when I saw you getting out of the trucking looking like you are,” Alex said nervously.

"Ok Alex, first off I need you to be strong. You have to promise," Aaron said pleadingly.

“Dad I promise, now what is going on?” asked Alex apprehensively.

"Uncle Derek was shot and killed today on duty," Aaron said with tears rolling down his face.

Alex never saw his Dad cry like that before in his life. As it started to sink in Alex had to get control of himself for Brendan and Cam.

Aaron called for all of the boys to come into the game room. They all came in with Max in hot pursuit of the boys.

“Um… boys this is so hard to do,” Aaron looked at his hands and shuddered, “I'm not even sure how to do this. Cam, your Dad was shot today while on duty. I got there with Max as quick as I could. We took care of the guy that shot your dad, and then I helped your dad as much as I could,” Aaron rubbed his hands together, “Your dad said, “To tell you how much he loved you, and you were the last thing he thought of.” When I got to the hospital Mary tried to do everything they could for him but his injuries were too severe and he passed away Cam. I am so so sorry.” Aaron pulled Cam into a hug, “He was not only my brother but my best friend and partner.” Aaron stated.

“In the coming day's boys, a lot of things will be happening,” Aaron looked the boys, “First, Cam your Dad wanted you to live with us if anything ever happened to him. He had his attorney draw up papers after your mom died. He also said, “He wanted you to be happy.” I know it will take time for that part to happen but remember your dad died to protect the people of our community and loved you so much.” Aaron paused to gather his thoughts before continuing, “I will be helping make arrangements for your dads funeral with the department. Later we will go over to your house and get some of your clothes to bring over until we get everything sorted out, ok?”

"Yes sir," all the boys responded as they hugged one another.

Aaron sat there wondering how things could become any worse, after having a day like this.

Well folks, many men and women have committed to protect and serve and walk the thin blue line sometimes giving thier life leaving thier family to pick up the pieces. Take a moment to remember all officers and thier families.

Copyright © 2017 Dahawk; All Rights Reserved.
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A sad beginning to what looks to be a great story. Reading Derek's point of view and when Aaron has to explain to the boys what happened weren't easy to read with watery eyes! Looking forward to reading more!

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Thank you for your comment, jaysalmn did you find the story hard to read? I had pm complaining he couldn't understand the story.

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1 hour ago, jaysalmn said:

A sad beginning to what looks to be a great story. Reading Derek's point of view and when Aaron has to explain to the boys what happened weren't easy to read with watery eyes! Looking forward to reading more!

Thank you for your comment, jaysalmn did you find the story hard to read? I had a post stating he couldn't understand the story.

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24 minutes ago, Bndmetl said:

You made me cry, not fair. That poor family. Can't wait for more.

I will take that as a compliment from you. I am a big fan of yours, so to hear I moved you means a lot. 

 

Rob

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7 minutes ago, Dahawk said:

I will take that as a compliment from you. I am a big fan of yours, so to hear I moved you means a lot. 

 

Rob

 

You made me cry again, stop it. I'm a happy person LOL. I just know I'm going to enjoy this story, and I'm excited. More, more, more please.

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9 hours ago, Dahawk said:

Thank you for your comment, jaysalmn did you find the story hard to read? I had a post stating he couldn't understand the story.

No, I didn't find it hard to read. U had whose point of view it was at the top of their paragraphs. Maybe label the point of view in bold print? Only suggestion I have. If that wasn't the problem, I don't kno what to tell the reader.

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13 hours ago, Dahawk said:

Thank you for your comment, jaysalmn did you find the story hard to read? I had pm complaining he couldn't understand the story.

It's a formatting issue that's making it hard to read. For example:

 

"Hmm... maybe I can clean up a bit and see if Cameron"

 

In the above copied snippet "maybe I can clean" is one long string with no spacing between words on my screen.  This same problem occurs repeatedly in almost every line of the chapter.  My guess is this is the same issue others are having.

 

 I know I wanted to read the story but it's a challenge to determine what you intended to write. I gave up after a few lines. 

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14 hours ago, Bndmetl said:

You made me cry, not fair. That poor family. Can't wait for more.

Ha your mascaras running for once! But damn so is mine. I like this story so far. I didn't have a problem reading the format. My only bit of criticism would be a few more POVs than I like. Of course I had the same said about one of my chapters. But so far great start.

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39 minutes ago, DarkChanteuse said:

It's a formatting issue that's making it hard to read. For example:

 

"Hmm... maybe I can clean up a bit and see if Cameron"

 

In the above copied snippet "maybe I can clean" is one long string with no spacing between words on my screen.  This same problem occurs repeatedly in almost every line of the chapter.  My guess is this is the same issue others are having.

 

 I know I wanted to read the story but it's a challenge to determine what you intended to write. I gave up after a few lines. 

By chance are using a mac operated system?

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I hope a couple of the reviews won't put  you off continuing with the story ok there might be a couple of teething problems but i will stick with it and looking forward to lots more 

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Thanks for all the comments, we seem to know that the formatting issue is when its trying to be used by apple systems.

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3 hours ago, paul.b said:

I hope a couple of the reviews won't put  you off continuing with the story ok there might be a couple of teething problems but i will stick with it and looking forward to lots more 

 

I agree, paul. b is right. Listen, learn and move forward, this is your story, you should be proud of yourself. 

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I like the idea of the story, but so far the delivery leaves a lot to be improved upon. I noticed three major issues with the writing, where you could say two of them are my subjective opinion but the third one is a common mistake coming from not revising the story and is just kind of sad.

1. It is common to switch POV during a story. But that should not happen as frequently as it did here. Using first person narrative helps a lot with making the reader feel closer to the narrator, which is then usually the main character. But getting only a few lines from every character prevents at least me personally  from forming a connection with the characters. And if a connection is not established, the first person just feels weird. If you want to switch POV a lot, I suggest trying 3rd person narration. It would feel even more professional then to introduce changes of a scene through writing the place as a sub-heading, instead of the person who's POV is coming next.

2. I noted especially in the last scene, when Aaron tells the boys about Derek's death, that you didn't really add detail to the scenes. I was clearly expecting a description of at least Cam's reaction immediately after he was told of his father's death. Instead you just continued with Aaron talking again. This makes it feel like this whole chapter and tragic death of a person is just a setup to get two (gay) boys that are not genetically related to each other to live in the same house.

There isn't really anything wrong with that and it seams like you invoked some kind of emotion in the other reviewers, but at least for me it was impossible to feel anything there because it happened all way to fast. The dialogue dominated the scenes while I had no clear picture of the scenery or the character's expressions and thus couldn't 'dive into' the story.

3. Please decide which tense you want to write in, and make sure you stay in that time. I know it is easy to slip from past into present, and the way the story is written, with that many POVs, I think present tense might even be more appropriate, but that's entirely your choice. Just make a decision and please give your story at least enough love to reread each chapter before posting and correct tense slips. Or try to find an editor who is willing to proof-read and correct your chapters.

Okay, enough of that. I hope you take this as constructive criticism and don't let this dampen your enjoyment to write. I am not an author myself (yet), but I read a lot and make an effort to notice which features the stories I find the best usually share, which is where my above advice comes from.

I will now go and read the second chapter and I hope you find my review helpful rather than annoying. Anyways please keep up the writing,  I want to know where this story goes! :D

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Well this is annoying... the bits I've managed to make it through, I think I like.  But the formatting is terrible.  Apparently it's a Mac issue, although I haven't seen it before.

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Police officers are the most underrated people. They try to make sure people are safe, yet if an innocent person gets killed, the media say it was because of them...

 

If you see an officer, tell them thanks...

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