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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Cards on the Table - 3. Chapter 3 Dealer's Choice

It's a new game... and all bets are off...

Chapter 3

Kendall came abruptly awake. Feeling disoriented, he looked around the room in the barely there, pre-dawn light. There was no alarm clock going off. No traffic noises outside. So what woke him? He listened, senses alert, but all was quiet.

Michael. He remembered. It all washed through him at once. Today everything changed. Pulling himself up carefully from his prone position, he leaned back against the headboard and took stock of himself. He had no memory of going to bed, but here he was, fully clothed. He felt a little achy, his head hurt, and swallowing was difficult. No wonder. He must have cried a bucket-load of tears. He remembered the howling that couldn't possibly have come from a human, yet it did, and those sounds were his.

Shit! His truck. He had to go get his truck. Looking over at the red numbers on the clock told him he had almost three hours before he needed to be at work. Being the boss he could stretch that, but there was no need. Work was required to keep his mind busy. Come hell or high water, he wasn't going to dwell on yesterday.

Deep down though, he couldn't help but remember fondly how well Michael took his messy confession, and how determined he'd been to take care of him when he found him in his truck. It didn't surprise him though, because Michael always took care of him. No matter what was going on in his life, he would always drop everything for Kendall.

No crying today. That got him nowhere. He swung his long legs over the side of the bed and stood. Stretching felt like a reward this morning as he twisted and turned and forced his body to comply. Shedding wrinkled clothes while carefully walking out to the hall bathroom in near darkness, he blinded himself with the light switch. As his eyes slowly and painfully adjusted, he surveyed the damage. It wasn't pretty.

His eyes were too puffy to look fully open and much of the white was obscured by red. It didn't seem like a good idea to shave his heavy beard when he couldn't see very well, so that could wait till after a quick workout at the gym, but a shower couldn't. He hopped in quickly under too-hot water and suffered the heat as penance for being so needy last night. Don't go there, he thought, as the memory of non-stop retching reared its ugly head. That was enough to take away any chance of finding relief for his ever-insistent erection. Soaping its length caused his temptation to rise because it had been days, but he knew his thoughts would just go straight to an image of Michael as he got close. That was the last thing he needed this morning. Just like crying, it wouldn't get him anywhere. Today was about moving on.

Toweling off, he stopped dead, arms frozen as he realized going to the gym was no longer an option. It was their gym, and Michael could be there. It would be prudent to change gyms, but the thought came with an unpleasant feeling. He went back to drying his dark gold chest hair. This is what you wanted, Kendall.

But that wasn't really true, was it? What he wanted was a world where he could be loved back by his best friend. It was a pipe dream that would never come true, so for starters a new gym was necessary. With some conviction in place, Kendall decided to go get Beauty and then come back here for breakfast, cleanup, and a shave. Going to their morning coffee place was out of the question as well.

He headed back to the bedroom to put on his running gear. He was soft enough now to stuff himself into an old, well-worn jock while readying himself mentally for the day ahead. A brisk half-hour run would get him to his truck, and he could drive her back here with plenty of time to make himself presentable for work. Kendall headed to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee brewing before heading out.

Satisfied all was good with the temperamental, somewhat ancient coffee maker, he grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet, and headed out the door. Pulling it tightly closed, he was startled when he turned around. There was Black Beauty, right where she was supposed to be, in her regular spot.

"What the fuck?" There was nobody to hear Kendall, or see the confused look on his face before it dawned on him. Michael. Looking after him again. It was then he noticed how she gleamed under the light standard in the parking lot. The bastard had washed his truck. When did he even find the time to do that? He frowned, then smiled, then frowned again, shaking his head. This wasn't working the way it was supposed to... the way they had agreed. Michael shouldn't be doing things like this anymore.

Going back inside, he grabbed the spare keys and went back out to check inside the truck cab. Sure enough, there was a post-it note on the dash. 'Couldn't sleep so brought your baby back so you wouldn't worry. Ace'. He sat behind the steering wheel, eyes burning, frustrated at the warring feelings doing battle within him. How the hell was he supposed to forget someone who did things like this?

It was cry or get angry so he chose the latter. He grabbed the keys Michael had left under the seat before closing Beauty's door gently, though he felt like slamming it, and went back into his apartment with the intent to call him to put a stop to this.

Pouring some of the partly-brewed coffee into a mug, he swallowed without thinking and practically screamed at the pain of the scalding hot coffee on his still raw throat. "Goddammit!" Fuck that hurt. This was not a good way to start the day. Forcing himself to calm down, he rethought the wisdom of calling Michael. No. He would just let it be and move on. There was nothing to be gained by going off on him for acting the way he always had. It was hard for him too, and he had to keep that in mind as he headed back to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He would forgo running today and just go into work early. He'd try to bury his thoughts in mundane tasks. Michael washed his truck! Damn him.

From the bathroom, he heard a text alert on his phone. As he finished brushing, another one went off. Two could mean his overnight supervisor had a problem, so he hurried to check the messages. Picking up the phone, he saw they were both from Michael. The first one informed him he had switched gyms, so Kendall wouldn't be uncomfortable. He opened the next one to find out he would be going to Tim Horton's for his coffee from now on; the Coffee Emporium was now his alone. He even put in a happy face. Michael hated Tim Horton's coffee. Frustrated, he buried his face in his hands and broke the promise to himself that there would be no crying today. At least this time, it was a gentle release. A few tears and he was done.

 

Walking into the posh residential building, Kendall greeted Gus, who was stationed at the front security desk. "Any problems last night?" He was in business mode this morning. He was in no mood to chat, and made sure he sent that vibe out to his employee. The curious look on Gus' face was not missed by his boss, though. He knew he looked out of sorts, but there was no urge to explain anything. Let the man wonder... let them all wonder. All of Kendall's people knew better than to overstep. He was a great guy to work for, but he liked his security force professional at all times.

"Just an attempted break-in to the West stairwell in Building Five... a couple of teenagers screwing around. The report's on your desk."

"Any scheduling issues?"

"Just one. Denton called in sick for his Building Seven shift last night, and for the next two nights. He has doctor authorization, and already faxed the note to us. Jeremy called Evan in for last night, and covered tonight and tomorrow with part-timers. The updated schedule is on your desk, as well as Denton's medical note. That's all, boss." Efficient and to the point. Exactly what Kendall demanded, always.

"Thanks, Gus. I'll be in my office. When Jeremy's off the cams, tell him to report in." Done with instructions, he walked over to the west corner of the building to his bright, spacious office, entered, and closed the door. This was what he needed. He felt good, here. This was his domain. His inner sanctum. He hadn't been successful in getting hired to a police force. It was all a numbers game, but his education had served him well, and he was now the head of security for a huge conglomerate of high-end residential buildings. His duties fell to mostly administrative, but to his initial surprise, he'd found it suited him.

His efforts had made the security force perform like a well-oiled machine. Everyone on his team knew exactly what was expected of them. The residents of these elite condos and apartments demanded the best, and Kendall made sure they received it. Michael, though, was a cop through and through. Kendall sighed, and prepared to lose himself in demanding work issues.

It worked, and he was jolted from his tasks hours later when Jeremy tapped on his door. A quick update from his assistant, and the man was done for the day. He was walking out, but turned back before reaching the door, clearing his throat as he stood there. Kendall looked up into that handsome face and raised his eyebrows in question.

"I don't mean to pry, boss, but you look kind of sad or something today."

Kendall frowned at the personal comment, but didn't respond.

"I just want to say, if you need to talk or anything, I'm a real good listener. I'll spring for a coffee if you want to take a break?"

Jeremy's concern was touching but right now solitude seemed like Kendall's best friend, and at the moment, his only one. Not for the first time, he wondered if Jeremy's interest in him was something more. He didn't know much about gaydar; he just knew he didn't have it. "Thanks, Jere, but I'm okay. Just really tired. The neighbors kept me up all night," he lied.

His assistant's expression showed he wasn't buying it, but he was smart enough to accept his dismissal. "All right, Captain Dooley. The offer's open though, if you ever need to talk. I'll see you Monday. Have a great weekend."

He quietly closed the door behind him, and Kendall was alone again. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and stretched. All his people were top notch, trained to be observant, but it bugged him that Jeremy noticed his state of mind. Was he that transparent? He couldn't help the bitter chuckle as he thought about the fact Michael hadn't figured him out in all their time as best friends. Maybe he didn't see it because he didn't want to.

At least he didn't have to feel guilty about hiding such a big thing from him anymore. No more dwelling, he thought. Lunchtime. Maybe a patrol would help him clear his mind of the memories of yesterday, trying once again to surface. He had things pretty much covered here anyway, so the deli and a drive was the ticket.

Denise was covering for Gus while he was on lunch. As Kendall approached her at the front desk, he noticed her quick up and down look, and approved her subtlety. "Hey, Denise. Everything okay?" Kendall frowned on chatting during work hours and always set an example.

"All good, Captain. Gus is back at one o'clock and then I head over to Building Three to relieve James." She stared at him curiously. Oh crap, not again, he thought.

"Could you give me the keys to Patrol One? I'm going for lunch, then doing a drive around. Log it for me, please." This was Kendall's personal company vehicle, but he left it available for emergency use when he wasn't there. He could never betray Beauty by taking it home. Denise handed him the keys and he was off with a curt wave.

He could feel her gaze on him as he walked out. All his staff were trained to be perceptive and she was no different. As he walked through the door, he turned briefly and caught her looking at him with concern. Resigning himself to the fact he wasn't doing a good job of hiding the pain he was feeling, he continued to his car.

His sometimes-favorite lunch, a grilled Reuben sandwich, seemed tasteless today, and not worth the effort of chewing, but he ate anyway. Though he didn't feel hungry, his stomach gurgled in appreciation of being fed. Starting the tour of his buildings, he forced himself to pay attention to every detail. This was a routine that calmed him. He didn't do this enough because he wasn't required to, but it was a good way to feel hands on and set a good example for his security force. Driving down the side of Building Eight, he saw fresh graffiti marring the granite face of the side entrance, and called it in, requesting the feeds be reviewed ASAP. His guys would be on it in no time, and once it was investigated maintenance would be called in, so he continued over to Building Nine.

The text alert pinged on his mobile as he pulled into the parking lot, so he steered into a space before reading it. Michael, again. Opening the message, he sat there somewhat stunned.

"Just notified Coach... leaving team... Unionville needs center/right wing so I'm in... first practice this w/e."

Short and sweet. What the fuck was he doing? He had no right! He should be the one changing teams, not him! He was pissed. Really pissed. He pushed number one on his phone. Two rings and Michael picked up.

"Deuce?"

"Can you talk?" He tried, but couldn't keep the agitation from his voice.

"Yeah, no problem. I'm on late lunch. I... uh, I didn't expect to hear from you. Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

That damn concern again. Kendall's anger wavered, and he wasn't sure now that he should have called. "I'm fine. I didn't expect to call you either. The thing is, Michael, you have to stop this."

"Stop what?" There was silence after his question. "Kendall, what... stop what? Is this about me quitting the hockey team?"

"Yes. And the gym. And Tim Horton's. You fucking hate Tim Horton's. You think it tastes like horse piss, for fuck sake. Michael, please? I don't want you making all the sacrifices. I'm the one who fucked up our friendship and you're changing everything around as if it's your fault and not mine, and that's just not right. Do you know how that makes me feel?

"No... I'm not sure that I...."

"Well, I'll tell you. It makes me feel guilty and makes me feel like shit. How am I supposed to get over you when you keep doing things like this? Fuck, you brought Beauty back for me last night, after you rescued my pathetic, fucked-up ass."

"Hey, listen to me. Don't you dare call yourself pathetic! That is complete and utter bullshit and I'm not gonna hear it. You did not fuck up our friendship. You have nothing to blame yourself for. So you're gay. I don't care, because what does that have to do with friendship anyway? Look... I know it was hard to tell me how you felt about me, but I've wrapped my head around it and I'm not bothered at all, except it means you feel the need to distance yourself from me. That, I have a hard time with, but I'm trying here. You told me you needed something from me, and even though I don't like it and it hurts like nothing I've ever experienced before, I understand. I get it and I accept it. Well, at least I'm trying to. Remember what we talked about last night?"

"Yeah. Every word." Listening to him, he lost every bit of his anger, and felt guilty for feeling it in the first place.

"Well then, you should know I don't feel good about not being the friend you needed. I thought about you and me all night, and I think on some level I kind of knew how you felt. Not, like in the front of my brain or anything, but deep down I knew something was there. Or maybe it's just hindsight and I can see it because I know it, if that makes any sense? I am just trying to help you in any way I can, and if I botched it up, I'm sorry."

Kendall didn't know what to say as Michael took a long pause.

"I didn't think you would want to be on the same team as me so I switched hockey teams. It wasn't that big a deal, and if it helps give you what you need to be happy, I am glad to do it. As long as I can lace up, it don't matter shit what team I'm on. I'll miss playing with you, but you need your distance so I have to accept that. I just want to help, man. I feel kind of useless right now, and you know how I get."

"Yeah, I know how you get. I guess I should thank you for being so understanding. Something like this could destroy a lot of friendships, and you just handle it like it's nothing. It shouldn't surprise me you would do this stuff. It's who you are and who you always have been. I'm sorry I got a little freaked, but it's so hard to figure all this out. I can't even think about moving on and starting something new because it scares the living shit out of me, Ace, and I have to do it alone. I can't have you there to help me, and that's the scariest part of all."

Michael voice oozed a pain of his own, and Kendall could feel the hopeless tone in it. "It's tough now, for both of us, but it'll get easier, I promise, and if you ever need me for any reason, I'll be there. You know that, right? I would never, ever let you down."

"Yeah, I do. I have no doubts about you. I never have. It's one of the reasons why...uh, that we were best friends." He thought he bit the words back in time, but to no avail. Michael heard the unspoken words anyway.

"I know what you were going to say. You don't have to be uncomfortable about it, because I'm not."

There was no response from him, because he wasn't able to speak.

"Okay, so are we good?"

Taking a deep breath, he answered. "Ah, yeah, we're good. Sorry for all the drama and shit. You are the best friend a guy could ever have and I've been lucky you were mine."

"Are, Kendall. Not were... are. Maybe we can't hang out anymore, but I will always be your best friend. Well, until you replace me, I guess."

His brain rebelled at the thought of replacing Michael. There was no one in the world like him... he was sure of it.

"That was a joke, buddy. We both know I am irreplaceable."

Kendall gave the expected snort, trying to cover his somber thoughts.

"Hey... I've been wondering about something. Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Can I ask you one first?"

"Sure. Ask me anything you want."

"Why did you wash Beauty? I mean, don't you think that was too much?"

Michael sighed loudly. "You're probably right, but when I picked her up, I could smell vomit. Some of it must have sprayed on the door frame... I didn't want you to have to smell that this morning, and the all-night wash wasn't very far out of the way."

Kendall was now wishing he hadn't asked the question.

"I couldn't sleep anyway, and it was no big deal. I didn't want you to be reminded of stuff, you know? I guess I overstepped again. Sorry, Deuce... I'll think before I act next time, okay?"

"I... don't worry about it, Ace. I appreciate what you did, looking after her for me. There's nothing to be sorry for, and I do know this is hard for you too... I do."

"I told you we'll get through it and we will. So, is it my turn now?"

"What is it? What do you want to know?"

"I might be out of line again, again, but, well, I've been thinking a lot, and I just wondered when... when did you... uh? Shit, it doesn't matter. Sorry, Deuce. Never mind."

"When did I fall in love with you? Is that what you want to know?"

"Well, actually... yeah."

"Why do you want to know?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure, exactly. It just seems important. I been trying to figure stuff out, and I don't know why it seems that way, but it does. But I understand if you don't want to answer."

"Our first floor-party in our dorm. Do you remember it?"

"Of course I remember it. Our first year, right?"

"Yeah, that's the one. I was sick as a dog with stomach flu just as the party was getting underway. You kicked everybody out, including Rhonda. Do you remember how pissed off she was?"

Michael didn't say anything, but Kendall just knew he was listening as if his life depended on it... he could hear it in the way Michael was breathing. They were like they always were... connected.

A sigh escaped before he continued on. "She wanted to kill you when you said you had to look after me because I was sick. She said I was a big boy and could look after myself. You said yeah, I could, but I didn't need to because you were there. She screamed at you, man. She said she was your girlfriend and you should look after what she wanted instead, and that you were ruining her fun. And then you told her she was no longer your girlfriend, so problem solved, and then you locked the door. I could hear her yelling in the hall. After that, all I remember is puking my guts out, over and over, and freezing. I couldn't get warm, and all of a sudden, I was. You crawled in bed with me and held me all night long. I remember you waking me up a few times to make me drink some warm tea and take some pills. You kept putting wet towels on my forehead. I woke up the next afternoon and you were still holding me. That's when I felt it." Kendall found himself getting emotional at the memory and knew he had to hang up, right away. "I have to go, Michael. Something's come up."

 

Just like that, Kendall was gone. The quiver in his voice was apparent to Michael as he heard the click of disconnection. He wanted to kick himself for asking the question, but found himself getting lost in his own memory of that night. He remembered it perfectly. It was just as he'd described, but the funny thing was he could only vaguely picture Rhonda's face. Everything else he could see with crystal clarity. He could still hear the muffled sounds of the party going on over the rest of the floor. After a few different pounds on the door, he had put a really nasty sign on it that involved fucking off. It worked, because there were no more knocks, or calls to come party after the sign went up. Watching Kendall shiver, after emptying his stomach over and over, became too difficult. He was burning up and sweating with the blankets piled on, but he still shivered.

Trying to recall what his mom would do when he was sick, he knew first he had to get Kendall's fever down. He remembered thinking that this was something he wasn't good at, but there was no question of turning it over to anyone else. He pulled the shirt off of an incoherent, mildly protesting Kendall, and put cold cloths on his chest and forehead and managed to get some lukewarm tea and Ibuprofen into him. The fever started coming down, but the shivering wouldn't stop, so that's when he got in the bed with him, wrapping his arms around the big guy to hold him. Five minutes later, the shivering disappeared, and the panic he'd been experiencing changed to a feeling of peace. So he'd just stayed there and held him, surprising himself when he'd stroked Kendall's hair and planted kisses on top of his head, the way his mother used to do when he was sick. He eventually pulled a thin sheet over them to make a cocoon.

He could still call up that feeling in his mind, after all these years. He'd realized while lying there holding Kendall, that he had never held anyone else that way before. He'd started having sex at an early age, and he had always treated women with care and respect, but never had he wanted to hold them like he was holding Kendall then, and that was true right to this day. Once the sex was over, he became restless and either left or pulled away to his side of the bed, wanting to be alone. Kendall had needed him that night like nobody ever had, and he remembered having to pry himself away to change face cloths and bring him liquids. As soon as he would lay back down, Kendall would immediately fold into him and hold on... and Michael did the same. Thinking back, he finally realized he'd gotten as much from it as his friend had, and the feeling present that night had never been replaced by anyone. The thought, though new, didn't disturb him at all. But, it did make him wonder.

 

 

 

   

Thanks once again to Tim, who cares so much, and all the gang who have been so incredibly supportive. You all know who you are. Please join us in the COTT forum
www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/39932-cards-on-the-table-by-headstall/
Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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  • Site Administrator

Your writing is getting stronger with each chapter. This was very well-written and the story is flowing at a nice pace. It sounds like Michael is realizing that his feelings may go a bit deeper than friendship. I can't wait to see where it leads.

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Another beautiful chapter Gary! This story has quickly become one of my favorites. You did an excellent job conveying Kendal's pain as well as his determination to move on. Maybe he will go on a date with his assistant? Although that might make work weird. He does need to go out on at least one date with someone though. I think it will be good for him to put himself out there so his whole life isn't tied to Michael. I also think it would good for Michael to see Kendall out with someone else and have to analyze his feelings about that. I think he will be surprised what he finds out about himself. I will however trust you to know your guys better than anyone and know this story will go where it's supposed to.

 

And Michael hates Timmy Ho's? Say it ain't so! Lol.

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On 01/19/2015 10:13 AM, Valkyrie said:
Your writing is getting stronger with each chapter. This was very well-written and the story is flowing at a nice pace. It sounds like Michael is realizing that his feelings may go a bit deeper than friendship. I can't wait to see where it leads.
Thanks very much. That is a great thing to hear. I want to become a good writer.I am glad you like the pace. I don't want to toy with readers...I just want to tell K and M's story in a way that is satisfying.I think Michael is somewhat groundless right now and examining everything in his life. I don't think it ever occurred to him that their friendship and what it gave him, could end.Someone deciding to leave him, is a shock. It is always him that leaves.
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On 01/19/2015 10:43 AM, LitLover said:
Another beautiful chapter Gary! This story has quickly become one of my favorites. You did an excellent job conveying Kendal's pain as well as his determination to move on. Maybe he will go on a date with his assistant? Although that might make work weird. He does need to go out on at least one date with someone though. I think it will be good for him to put himself out there so his whole life isn't tied to Michael. I also think it would good for Michael to see Kendall out with someone else and have to analyze his feelings about that. I think he will be surprised what he finds out about himself. I will however trust you to know your guys better than anyone and know this story will go where it's supposed to.

 

And Michael hates Timmy Ho's? Say it ain't so! Lol.

With all the great stories on here, that is so awesome to hear!Kendall needs to take the plunge,and as reluctant as he is, he knows it. The fact that he even wondered about Jeremy is a big step for him. In the past, no guy even existed, except for Michael.And yes, Michael hates Timmy's coffee...hard as it is to believe. I like Timmy's but I have found the new McDonald's coffee even better :)
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In these chapters you created a story line that remained consistently strong. I look forward to seeing what you do with this. Two caevats that I offer after having read many other works. First, please keep the story flowing by posting regularly. Irregular posts or long periods between posts are quite destructive and I would hate to se you waste such a good start. Second (and I do not know how to give content to this) I hope you can avoid so many of the "gay love story" cliches upon which less skilled and imaginative writers fall back. Again, this is too good a start to throw away in such a fashion. Good luck and thanks for the great read.

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On 01/19/2015 01:33 PM, starboardtack said:
In these chapters you created a story line that remained consistently strong. I look forward to seeing what you do with this. Two caevats that I offer after having read many other works. First, please keep the story flowing by posting regularly. Irregular posts or long periods between posts are quite destructive and I would hate to se you waste such a good start. Second (and I do not know how to give content to this) I hope you can avoid so many of the "gay love story" cliches upon which less skilled and imaginative writers fall back. Again, this is too good a start to throw away in such a fashion. Good luck and thanks for the great read.
Thank you starboardtack. I am glad that you like it so far and I hope I can keep your interest. I will try my best with the posting...this is the third chapter in seven days and as this is my first ever story, I don't know whether I can keep up the pace. I will say that I won't hold a chapter back once it's ready and I won't toy with the reader. All of the writers on here have a tremendous responsibility and from what I have seen, we all take it seriously. I actually talked to a fellow author tonight about gay romance cliches and the importance of trying to avoid them. That said, all we can do is tell our stories honestly and hope we do it in a way that resonates. There are certain limitations to all human love stories. I will do my very best. Once again, thank you. As I've said before, reviews are like lifeblood to an author...It means a lot that you think my story is a great read...cheers...Gary
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You fucker! May I please borrow a couple of tissues? I think my allergies are acting up again.

Anything other than those two together will not qualify as a HEA and would force me tow write about cheating and couple breaking up.

Dude, I don't even want to fuck those two anymore [well at least not right away] I just want to cuddled them and stroke their hair!

That's the way a love story between two men should be!

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On 01/19/2015 02:38 PM, Carlos Hazday said:
You fucker! May I please borrow a couple of tissues? I think my allergies are acting up again.

Anything other than those two together will not qualify as a HEA and would force me tow write about cheating and couple breaking up.

Dude, I don't even want to fuck those two anymore [well at least not right away] I just want to cuddled them and stroke their hair!

That's the way a love story between two men should be!

Woo Hoo, I made Carlos cry!!You can call me fucker anytime you want when you give me your seal of approval...cuddle them and stroke their hair...that is so, like, mushy. I love it and I love you for such a funny but heartfelt review. You didn't stand a chance of screwing either one of them anyway...and I don't take your threats seriously..you wouldn't screw with Papa Brett and Cesar either... well, you better not! Cheers, Buddy
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Snif, allergies... I must admi though that I snickered a bit at the idea of Michael backing off from the gym. And the coffee place. And the hockey team. And sending a separate loving message each time to let Kendall know. Yes, that's very helpful, Michael :gikkle:

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On 01/19/2015 06:21 PM, Irritable1 said:
Snif, allergies... I must admi though that I snickered a bit at the idea of Michael backing off from the gym. And the coffee place. And the hockey team. And sending a separate loving message each time to let Kendall know. Yes, that's very helpful, Michael :gikkle:
Hey Irri, thanks for your review. I love your take on things.He is genuinely trying to help Kendall get his distance, but he is being so sweet and caring about it that it turns Kendall to mush. It is like totally mixed messages, but Michael didn't get that at the time. Now that Kendall has told him, we'll see what that accomplishes.I don't know if you've noticed yet, but neither of these two can stay angry at the other one, which makes for a funny dynamic. Thanks again, Irri...cheers
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Gary, you did it again...I can feel all the pain Kendall is having, and know why he thinks this is necessary, but for me this chapter is Michael's. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but his desire to ease Kendall's path to freedom just showed me how much their relationship meant to him--before his own concerns, came Kendall's.

I kind of resent Kendall's attitude for what Michael is doing, but I also got the point that he couldn't stay mad at him. How long it will take him to realize that what he's doing isn't really needed is a tough question--now that Michael knows what is needed, he will do his best to make Kendall happy, so the complete break isn't needed except in Kendall's mind. I know he thinks it strengthens his quest for a boyfriend, but really, all it is doing is making Michael more obvious--keeping his friendship, but boxing it up in a separate place from his love life would have been the way to go--that way a new prospect wouldn't have to fight the memories of Michael so hard.

 

Anyway, I feel you are more successful at avoiding the chiches of gay romance than me--I try, but you seem to manage it with almost no effort at all--and you've seen how I fret over my chapters. :)

 

More please, Meister Gary!

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I've been struggling with this review. I can't seem to express my thoughts in words. Please just know that I am thrilled and impressed. You have done a remarkable job bringing voice to these guys. Thanks.

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Another great chapter Gary. They are like brothers it seems bordering on twins. The care and concern runs so deeply. Then you throw in the wrinkle of Jeremy the cute assistant. He seems very in tune with Kendall's state of mind, which is a useful skill for an aide. But it could be more. Intriguing. Great job! Thanks for sharing with us. :)

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I Wonder if Kendall is secretly pissed at Michael for removing himself from all their usual haunts. This prevents them from 'accidentally' running into each other when Kendall begins to suffer from Michael withdrawal symptoms.

My favorite part was the joint trip down memory lane, such a significant event, but only Kendall drew the correct conclusion at the time. We'll be anxiously awaiting Michael's lightbulb moment. :)

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Awww, I loved that memory, it was so sweet. Wonderful chapter. I can understand why Kendall would feel guilty about Michael changing everything, though. I probably would too. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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On 01/19/2015 08:50 PM, ColumbusGuy said:
Gary, you did it again...I can feel all the pain Kendall is having, and know why he thinks this is necessary, but for me this chapter is Michael's. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but his desire to ease Kendall's path to freedom just showed me how much their relationship meant to him--before his own concerns, came Kendall's.

I kind of resent Kendall's attitude for what Michael is doing, but I also got the point that he couldn't stay mad at him. How long it will take him to realize that what he's doing isn't really needed is a tough question--now that Michael knows what is needed, he will do his best to make Kendall happy, so the complete break isn't needed except in Kendall's mind. I know he thinks it strengthens his quest for a boyfriend, but really, all it is doing is making Michael more obvious--keeping his friendship, but boxing it up in a separate place from his love life would have been the way to go--that way a new prospect wouldn't have to fight the memories of Michael so hard.

 

Anyway, I feel you are more successful at avoiding the chiches of gay romance than me--I try, but you seem to manage it with almost no effort at all--and you've seen how I fret over my chapters. :)

 

More please, Meister Gary!

Thanks CG. I don't know what I would do without you. You wear your heart on your sleeve like I do. You are right about Michael desire to help Kendall. There is a lot of guilt in that man, whether it's warranted or not.Kendall is so in love that he doesn't even notice the world when M's around, and he is a gay man who has never been intimate with another man. He really feels that the only way is distance from his straight friend.I know a little something about this.And YOU are very successful at avoiding cliches. It is not a cliche if it is a truly honest human reaction. Your reviews are so thoughtful, I appreciate them and you...Cheers
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On 01/19/2015 10:43 PM, dughlas said:
I've been struggling with this review. I can't seem to express my thoughts in words. Please just know that I am thrilled and impressed. You have done a remarkable job bringing voice to these guys. Thanks.
Thanks Dugh. I don't know why you are struggling. This is a great review...It makes me feel like I am succeeding in making these guys come alive...and you being thrilled and impressed is a beautiful way to tell me that. Thanks again, Dugh...Cheers
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On 01/20/2015 12:29 AM, Cole Matthews said:
Another great chapter Gary. They are like brothers it seems bordering on twins. The care and concern runs so deeply. Then you throw in the wrinkle of Jeremy the cute assistant. He seems very in tune with Kendall's state of mind, which is a useful skill for an aide. But it could be more. Intriguing. Great job! Thanks for sharing with us. :)
Thanks so much Cole. These guys have a special connection that defines who they are. Fooling with it is painful for both of them. Maybe when they figure out why it's there, they can move on. Thanks for hanging in there. Fearless and honest still resonates every time I sit down to write. Your support has had quite an impact...thank you Cole...cheers
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On 01/20/2015 03:16 AM, Timothy M. said:
I Wonder if Kendall is secretly pissed at Michael for removing himself from all their usual haunts. This prevents them from 'accidentally' running into each other when Kendall begins to suffer from Michael withdrawal symptoms.

My favorite part was the joint trip down memory lane, such a significant event, but only Kendall drew the correct conclusion at the time. We'll be anxiously awaiting Michael's lightbulb moment. :)

I think you are right ,Tim. There is a part of Kendall that is terrified of going through life without Michael. I think, even though he is realistic about the situation, it is only natural for us to always hold out some hope , no matter how tiny.I am blad you feel that way about memory lane. It has been in my head for a long long time. There is another memory that has been there as well and it needs to come out soon, for my own piece of mind. Thanks. Tim, for this review and everything you do. Cheers
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On 01/21/2015 01:02 AM, craftingmom said:
Awww, I loved that memory, it was so sweet. Wonderful chapter. I can understand why Kendall would feel guilty about Michael changing everything, though. I probably would too. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Thanks CM. I am so happy that their shared memory appeared to work. In my head It did but I worried that it wouldn't translate the way I wanted. So after I read it and felt what I felt, I was happy.Kendall still feels he has done something wrong, so Michael's understanding and his gestures make him feel guilty. Michael can't help himself...he is a fixer. Thanks for supporting me CM . I love hearing what you have to say...cheers
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Well done Gary.

 

Just so you know, I don't usually review every chapter. There are only so many ways to say I love the story, so I save reviews for chapters that particularly move me. Most of my comments are more suited to the forum anyway LOL!

 

Keep it up. I am enjoying the story immensely!

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On 01/21/2015 04:38 AM, Kitt said:
Well done Gary.

 

Just so you know, I don't usually review every chapter. There are only so many ways to say I love the story, so I save reviews for chapters that particularly move me. Most of my comments are more suited to the forum anyway LOL!

 

Keep it up. I am enjoying the story immensely!

Hey Kitt. It is so gratifying to hear from you here. I get what you are saying...when you tell me you like something, I know I've done good! Your approval lifts me up and I am glad you are still enjoying this story. Cheers and thanks
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I'm torn between speculating that Michael wants to show Kendall what (who) he's missing at all 'their' places, being this super considerate. Probably not even consciously, but still... Or he wants the distance, so that he can figure out what Kendall means to him beside being his best friend. But I guess if I could ask Michael, he would say he did it to make it easier for Kendall, because he loves him and he will always be his best friend.

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On 01/21/2015 08:54 PM, aditus said:
I'm torn between speculating that Michael wants to show Kendall what (who) he's missing at all 'their' places, being this super considerate. Probably not even consciously, but still... Or he wants the distance, so that he can figure out what Kendall means to him beside being his best friend. But I guess if I could ask Michael, he would say he did it to make it easier for Kendall, because he loves him and he will always be his best friend.
Thanks Adi, for the thoughtful review...I think your third thought id the closest to the truth. Michael is not at all calculating. What you see is what you get.But you are right in that he is thinking about why this loss happens and what it means. Kendall knew this would be hard, but this was all his decision. Michael got blindsided and didn't want this...sometimes being blindsided is a good thing in the long run...I love that you're speculating on the reasoning behind the reality. Cheers...Gary
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I must admit, I love Mickey D's coffee. :P And it's only a dollar!!!! Any size!!!!

 

Gary, does Michael have a brother or cousin? Maybe you can clone him and send the clone to me. :D He is the best friend everyone should have. That girl, Rhoda or Rhonda, she's a BITCH, like Candy. Were all Michael's girlfriends bitches?

 

A friend doesn't kick everyone out of a party and spend the night taking care of you and making sure you take meds, and cuddling with you to keep you warm unless they really, really care about you. Michael is a dream.

 

Ok, I read this chapter while waiting for school to get out and I read part of the next chapter, so now I need to finish chapter four b/c I already know what I'm going to say in my review. :P

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