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Short Stories - 8. efiction Reviews as of 12/20/2010

Title: The Hand that Feeds You, Needs You     Reviewer: Nephylim

That was truly moving.  There's a powerful message there.  It's so weird because I have just left a post on the forum about not knowing how much you value what you have until it's gone and that it is so much better to have a son than the son you want. (that means that it's better to learn to value what you have rather than risk losing it becasuse it isn't exactly what you want.)

Author's Response: Gosh Thanks Nephylim. The idea was to keep this story in the most purest and simplest form. I from time to time take another look at this story and ask it what other powerful messages do you share with me today. I want to aspire today from what you will inspire me to write tommorrow. For some reason today - I felt a connection between this story and "Looking for Gabriel" They're both different stories like yin and yang. But Seth just push the envelope further than I imagine.
Date: 03/04/2010 10:25 AM

Title: Social Bubble (with Epilog)     Reviewer: Nephylim

Hehe.  I agree with them both.  I have never yet walked in on my daughter having sex but I think that if I did I would be like this mother.  Neither children nor parents have sex you know. Nice piece.

Author's Response: Is it not the sign that our children have grown up? Surpassing all our expectations? Moving faster than an energizer bunny!!! That keeps on going and ... going and ... going and ... then their Married and having children.
Date: 03/04/2010 04:50 AM

Title: My Journey's End     Reviewer: Nephylim

Awesome story.  You write powerfully and emotively

Author's Response: This is the first time someone ever courted me. I am still not sure of to why and what context. I do love him. I do want him. I don't know if I be courted like this ever again? He made me feel special. I miss him very very much. But his message of "R.E.S.P.E.C.T." was very important to him. This story was in remembrance of him and all the friends that gathered on that day.
Date: 03/04/2010 02:24 AM

Title: Just this once     Reviewer: Nephylim

It is a shame. Things like this do happen I'm sure and that's why it's always worth writing about it... becaue otherwise who thinks about it, who cares. Again a very powerful story.  I think you need to think about getting an editor because there are a few slips that detract for the power of the story

Author's Response: Sorry, this was a pre-editor one. Things like this happens outside the system and there is no one there to help them. Even in the system, it doesn't catch these things. Officers can look away, pass the buck or let paperwork slip. Either way they are left to god who will witness their last days in life. Or end up on an episode of Cold Case.
Date: 03/04/2010 02:19 AM

Title: Who am I?     Reviewer: Nephylim

That was such an interesting story.  It made you think... a lot.  Not your usual kind of love story but sweet nonetheless.

Author's Response: It still makes me think a lot (lol) ... make my head hurt (lol) I still ask "Who am I?" and I still wait for the answer. I think when I do hear the answer "that will surely wake me up"
Date: 03/04/2010 02:08 AM

Title: The Hand that Feeds You, Needs You – Looking for Gabriel  
Reviewer: Nephylim

That was very raw.  There was little description and a lot of action.  It was quite breathless and very powerful

Author's Response: Sure the story was a bit more on action and filled with strong emo. But the actions of the search and the finding of the truth meant more to the Seth than the clear picture of what the mountains look like. But then filled with such intense emo - how could Seth tell the story otherwise but to tell it while its still fresh within him. Details are but a blur to him. To return to the writing of the story would provoke much unwanted pain of his lost. I think it be his wish and Jakes to move on caring for Little-Gabe (in remembrance of Gabriel ) while the world wonders about all the details missing. The story will stay in its state of writing as a testimony to the Seth(s) out there who endured a lost and a second chance to move on with life. I don't think I could do any more justice to the story but to let it shine to those who read it.
Date: 03/04/2010 02:02 AM

Title: Social Bubble (with Epilog)     Reviewer: Rigby Taylor
Very erotic... I hope they see each other agian!

Author's Response: They do in the Spring 2010 Anthology.
Date: 03/03/2010 11:12 PM

Title: Just this once     Reviewer: David McLeod

If you don't want to cry--from both sadness and joy--then read no further. On the other hand, if you're willing to be exposed to pathos and an unusual, lyric use of language, check this one out. Look below the surface to find the emotion; look beyond the mechanical to find the raw substance of the world.
Date: 11/30/2008 01:08 PM

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