Lost In Thought's Poetry Prompt Collection - 1. Prompt 1: (Tanka) Lost in the Maze

The beginning was very sad, I actually had tears in my eyes reading it, but the ending was more promising and there was a hint of something much better and happier.

On 01/16/2015 02:48 AM, Suvitar said:

The beginning was very sad, I actually had tears in my eyes reading it, but the ending was more promising and there was a hint of something much better and happier.

Thanks for the review it means alot

Welcome again.

I knew you were interesting and, I'm almost never wrong about these thing.

On 01/16/2015 04:53 AM, jamessavik said:

Welcome again.

I knew you were interesting and, I'm almost never wrong about these thing.

I'll try my best to continue to meet your expectations and make improvements along the way

Truly grateful for your review~

Wow, not one tanka, but a cycle of nine! It's not the easiest thing to stick to a prescribed syllable pattern even for one stanza, let alone for so many. Not only that, but you managed to carry a single metaphor throughout the poem (being lost in a maze) and describe different aspects of the problem. If you have based this poem on experiences that you've had, it'd be really interesting if you would consider revisiting them in a different form of poem, maybe with more direct connections to the emotions that this one describes? Anyway, this is a pretty amazing start! Well done!

On 01/16/2015 05:32 PM, Irritable1 said:

Wow, not one tanka, but a cycle of nine! It's not the easiest thing to stick to a prescribed syllable pattern even for one stanza, let alone for so many. Not only that, but you managed to carry a single metaphor throughout the poem (being lost in a maze) and describe different aspects of the problem. If you have based this poem on experiences that you've had, it'd be really interesting if you would consider revisiting them in a different form of poem, maybe with more direct connections to the emotions that this one describes? Anyway, this is a pretty amazing start! Well done!

Thanks for your review I was looking forward to it.

I feel humbled that my prompt allowed you the structure to convey such a personal set of feelings. But guess what, that's the essence of poetry – connection – and a work like this can resonate with every Gay kid, or Questioning kid, or Bi kid – or anyone who has ever felt alone and isolated, and that's everyone. You have done an amazing job, and I hope you do not need our encouragement to keep writing and trust that others will know what you have to say within their heats, because they will. Thank you for letting me read this.

On 01/17/2015 08:46 AM, AC Benus said:

I feel humbled that my prompt allowed you the structure to convey such a personal set of feelings. But guess what, that's the essence of poetry – connection – and a work like this can resonate with every Gay kid, or Questioning kid, or Bi kid – or anyone who has ever felt alone and isolated, and that's everyone. You have done an amazing job, and I hope you do not need our encouragement to keep writing and trust that others will know what you have to say within their heats, because they will. Thank you for letting me read this.

Having taken a first run at Tanka myself, I can really appreciate the effort that went into this. There's more involved than a simple glance at the page would suggest, isn't there.

It's great that you picked up the pen after so many years and shared. You should continue.

On 01/18/2015 03:42 AM, PBax said:

Having taken a first run at Tanka myself, I can really appreciate the effort that went into this. There's more involved than a simple glance at the page would suggest, isn't there.

 

It's great that you picked up the pen after so many years and shared. You should continue.

It was funny to me realizing that we joined on the same date and both happened upon writing a Tanka I loved yours as well!