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    Mikiesboy
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Street Words - 5. Chapter 5 Jeff

So this one was the hardest to write. Jeff was a hard guy. On the street at 14, I met him when he was 23. He took me in, taught me, beat me, used me, stole from me, pimped me out and loved me.
I would have been about 23 when I wrote this.
I miss you Jeff ... tim

Jeff

He taught me to survive
Jeff took me to his bed and body
He didn’t have to, could have just left me
Alone at 15
We were together for years, making the rent
Sometimes love
After I was beaten and broken, in hospital
I walked away from my life
On the street
I went back to Jeff, asked him to come
He said no, too late, he could not change
Didn’t want to, I raged
He smiled and sent me away, good luck Timmy
I learned later he’d taken his life
Me, his only mourner.

Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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You have to be made of stone not to shed tears at this one. In a mention in two poems, you made me care about Jeff. Now he has two mourners. You are brilliant at stripping everything down to what is real. Frankly, I am in awe. Happiness and sadness so close together. Thank you for this...Gary

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On 09/18/2015 08:25 AM, Drew Espinosa said:

Yep, I am crying after this one :,( Tim just know he now has a third mourner :hug:

Jeezus Drew ... you made me cry. Shit dude. That was hard for me to get over. I didn't know if it was because I left him ... yeah a hard time.

 

Thanks Drew ... tim

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On 09/18/2015 08:09 AM, Headstall said:

You have to be made of stone not to shed tears at this one. In a mention in two poems, you made me care about Jeff. Now he has two mourners. You are brilliant at stripping everything down to what is real. Frankly, I am in awe. Happiness and sadness so close together. Thank you for this...Gary

He had a hard life. I still feel guilty for leaving him but I had to go. I'd have looked after him but he'd never have let me. There will be more about Jeff in a longer piece. Thanks Gary for your time and support.

 

tim

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I think it was an act of love that Jeff sent you away. He could not change but he saw that you could, and it wasn't too late for you. We mourn Jeff, but we thank him too.

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On 09/18/2015 09:06 AM, Defiance19 said:

I think it was an act of love that Jeff sent you away. He could not change but he saw that you could, and it wasn't too late for you. We mourn Jeff, but we thank him too.

Thats what I think too. But geez it still hurts.. can see him there, hear him. I feel like I failed him in some way.

 

Thank you for reading all of these and for you comments and support.

 

tim

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Make that four. I totally agree with Defiance (as I usually do); Jeff sent you away b/c he knew you could survive, but it was already too late for him. Maybe in the end he realized he couldn't survive without you.

 

I needed my Kleenex for this one.

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On 09/18/2015 10:56 AM, Lisa said:

Make that four. I totally agree with Defiance (as I usually do); Jeff sent you away b/c he knew you could survive, but it was already too late for him. Maybe in the end he realized he couldn't survive without you.

 

I needed my Kleenex for this one.

Oh Lisa, I didn't want people crying over these. Truly. Jeff did know, I think it was his last act of love for me. He did love me in his way. That's what upset me...that I'd left him alone and he couldn't deal with being alone so he killed himself. It haunts me still.

 

Thank you for reading Lisa. I appreciate it very much.

 

tim

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wow. the amount of detachment you bring to witnessing your own life is truly impressive. I'm curious, as I know you wrote these pieces 'real time,' when the stuff was happening, what was the impulse for you to write them? I mean, with me personally, poetry has always been my way to 'deal' with crap so I could forget it, otherwise it'd fester. Just wondering if it was the same or similar for you when you were writing these.

 

Thanks again Tim for sharing a powerful piece with us.

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On 09/19/2015 06:59 AM, AC Benus said:

wow. the amount of detachment you bring to witnessing your own life is truly impressive. I'm curious, as I know you wrote these pieces 'real time,' when the stuff was happening, what was the impulse for you to write them? I mean, with me personally, poetry has always been my way to 'deal' with crap so I could forget it, otherwise it'd fester. Just wondering if it was the same or similar for you when you were writing these.

 

Thanks again Tim for sharing a powerful piece with us.

Jeff was written some time after he committed suicide. The first two when I turned 16 and 17, he threw me out at 15. Things like razor I'm not sure, I was probable 18 or 19.

 

Thanks for reading AC. I appreciate your time and your thoughts.

 

tim

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6 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

He was a piece of work, but I get it. 

M

He was, but he only had the skills he had. I loved him in my own way.

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This one made me choke and coming from someone who barely cries it is the best compliment I could give you and your poem (it was just that good)...U have a gift tim...u through your poem can touch people's heart :(:(

Edited by Aviana
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3 hours ago, Aviana said:

This one made me choke and coming from someone who barely cries it is the best compliment I could give you and your poem (it was just that good)...U have a gift tim...u through your poem can touch people's heart :(:(

I'm sorry it upset you, but i understand what you are saying. I love jeff but hate him. He did some horrible things to me, but like i've said in other places.. he did the best he could with the tools he had. His life was much worse than mine. Thanks again Aviana. 

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