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    Mikiesboy
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Timmy's Journal - 27. Poetry Prompt 9 Sonnets

My Simple Sonnet, if you dare!

My Simple Sonnet #1

 

As a child my world was full of wonder
 
full of smiles, and of games and make believe,
 
but as I grew there was often thunder;
 
My mum died and then dad forced me to leave.
 
 
 
My life out on the streets was frightening,
 
and drugs and tears were my only comfort
 
until you showed me a love enduring;
 
together we made our lives a concert.
 
 
 
We chose to marry, be partners for life,
 
it won’t be easy, dark skies may loom;
 
prepared though we are to meet any strife,
 
we’ll need to work hard to keep love abloom.
 
 
 
Life is full of disappointment and pain
 
Together though, we can keep out the rain.
Thanks to you who read my poetry.
Thanks to AC who helped me understand the flow of quatrains...
My apologies to Shakespeare ....
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Hey tim

 

That was both sad and beautiful.
It fills me with joy for you that you are once again experiencing the beauty that life has to offer. Though the road may still filled with bumps and unwelcome memories, your words show you know what and who is important. Important enough to not take things for granted, but to know that together, you will shine.
We all should be so lucky to have a love like you and Mike. :hug: to you both.

 

As always, nicely done.

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Reading your Sonnet, these were my first thoughts: this poem is pretty amazing. Your message is clear as a bell and personal, while the form is spot on. I like the loom/abloom choice, that's nice. Also, comfort and concert is really good... I paused, really paused, because I don’t think I would pair them, but you are totally correct. Phonetically, 'come-FERT' and 'con-SERT' are perfect rhymes, so they are golden.

 

That's very good. I learned to expand my poetry today from you, thank you!

 

Your quatrains are smooth, the pivot point with the couplet is great, your rhymes are natural and unforced, and overall you succeeded very well.

 

I think you should be proud of this poem. I know I would. :)

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You tell your story here in quatrains golden; and to you in verse I'm now beholden. You write so eloquently and irresistibly. I so admire your work here. I have tried sonnets long ago, and threw my hands up in frustration. Thank you Tim!

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Hey Tim. Your poetry us always so personal and touching it made me shed some tears. I can't imagine everything you've been through, but I'm sure your love with Mike is like a rock. Thanks for sharing!

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I salute you for this perfect sonnet. Like someone smarter than me said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

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On 01/19/2016 10:50 AM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

 

That was both sad and beautiful.

It fills me with joy for you that you are once again experiencing the beauty that life has to offer. Though the road may still filled with bumps and unwelcome memories, your words show you know what and who is important. Important enough to not take things for granted, but to know that together, you will shine.

We all should be so lucky to have a love like you and Mike. :hug: to you both.

 

As always, nicely done.

Hi Reader, thank you. I know I'm, we're lucky. Mike is a special man, he's more understanding than people know. We get each other and any mistakes we make, I know we can work through.

 

Thanks for your comments and support!

 

tim

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On 01/19/2016 11:13 AM, WolfM said:

Great job. I always enjoy seeing when you've posted a new poem. :)

WolfM, thank you my friend I appreciate you reading them. Just know you are on my to read list. I'll get there...

 

tim

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On 01/20/2016 02:49 AM, aditus said:

I salute you for this perfect sonnet. Like someone smarter than me said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Thank you aditus, im rather humbled by your comments and i appreciate them and you reading this poem. Thanks again,

 

tim

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On 01/19/2016 02:59 PM, Roberto Zuniga said:

Hey Tim. Your poetry us always so personal and touching it made me shed some tears. I can't imagine everything you've been through, but I'm sure your love with Mike is like a rock. Thanks for sharing!

Roberto! Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a comment. Mike is a good man and I'm lucky he's the person he is. Thanks again, my friend!

 

tim

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On 01/19/2016 01:38 PM, Parker Owens said:

You tell your story here in quatrains golden; and to you in verse I'm now beholden. You write so eloquently and irresistibly. I so admire your work here. I have tried sonnets long ago, and threw my hands up in frustration. Thank you Tim!

What to write about was the hardest thing but i dont want you to think it was easy, because it wasn't. But i've become pretty stubborn about finishing things and i worked hard. Thanks Parker for all of your support. I really appreciate it...

 

tim

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On 01/19/2016 01:27 PM, Headstall said:

There's lots to like here, tim... the rhyming, the rhythm, and the message... well done... G

Hi Gary, thanks so much for reading this, my first sonnet! I'm going to try some more I think. I think it's a challenging but rewarding form!

 

tim

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On 01/19/2016 12:43 PM, AC Benus said:

Reading your Sonnet, these were my first thoughts: this poem is pretty amazing. Your message is clear as a bell and personal, while the form is spot on. I like the loom/abloom choice, that's nice. Also, comfort and concert is really good... I paused, really paused, because I don’t think I would pair them, but you are totally correct. Phonetically, 'come-FERT' and 'con-SERT' are perfect rhymes, so they are golden.

 

That's very good. I learned to expand my poetry today from you, thank you!

 

Your quatrains are smooth, the pivot point with the couplet is great, your rhymes are natural and unforced, and overall you succeeded very well.

 

I think you should be proud of this poem. I know I would. :)

AC, wow your comments are amazing and i'm humbled. I had a good, patient and talented teacher. The information about the flow of a good quatrain was the lesson i need to learn. Thank you so much for all of your support AC. It means the world.

 

tim

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Hardly simple, I would say. The way you found a solution for the misgivings you mentioned on the forum is a perfect one: together is so much more than one plus one. I think it's a great sonnet and would like to see more of them, for you no doubt have many more inside you.

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On 01/22/2016 07:03 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

Hardly simple, I would say. The way you found a solution for the misgivings you mentioned on the forum is a perfect one: together is so much more than one plus one. I think it's a great sonnet and would like to see more of them, for you no doubt have many more inside you.

Thanks again, Peter. I rather liked sonnets though they're not simple to write. Maybe that's why, they are a challenge and I think force you to be creative. Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me.

 

tim

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