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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Snowflake: A Love Story - 9. Auburn Ski Camp: A Melting Snowflake

Snowflake
~~~~~~~~~

It is times like this that I wish my mastery of English was better or that I could speak French with better fluency. Finnish does not have words enough to express these feelings.
 
I find it frustrating. Greatly frustrating!
 
I wanted to take Brian with me to my residential cabin on site. I wanted to just sleep with him. After our sex in the baths and the sauna, I was sated in that appetite, but I wanted more closeness. I wanted to cup Brian with my body, and allow my strength to pass into him by some means. I wanted to take on his knee pain and put it in my knee. But I could not.
 
Yes, I know that makes me sound like a fool or insane, but...I wanted to melt with him in sleep.
 
So I was disappointed when he’d rather go to the bar. It was early for bars, in my estimation, but I know too that they can offer a kind of rest a bed cannot.
 
These last two days have been exceedingly overwrought with emotions I do not know what to do with. What is happening? Why do I not have control of myself or what is happening with Brian? It is like there is a force stronger than either of us irresistibly drawing us together. I do not like it. But I love it. I love him. I love Brian. I LOVE him! I don't know why. I don't!
 
How can I love someone I hardly know? It makes no sense at all. This is the sort of infatuation only young school boys have and yet...here I am.
 
I'm sighing continuously as I'm walking to the front of the lodge. One might think that I have a lung disease. I must even be flushed because I feel the heat in my face. I am numb to all around me, but I centre on some movement on my right as I pass the concierge desk. It draws my attention for some reason that transcends my internal whinging.
 
Jimmy sits looking at his computer screen. His face is made blue by it. His blue/green eyes seem to glow like fireflies as he glances from his screen to me, and back at the screen again. The movement I saw was him playing with his tousled, shiny, dark brown hair in a slow absent minded way. It was strange. Also, he looks 20 years older. Seeing him, I suddenly forget my own plight. I am wondering if Jimmy is ill. I become instantly concerned over my young friend. He had been in a bad way this morning, but so had I and for the same reason: Brian!
 
I glance around and do not see Sabrina anywhere, which makes me feel a bit cross at her. She must know that Jimmy is not ok. She is far more intuitive than I will ever be. Yet, she is not here. I approach him, and Jimmy straightens and sits stiffly in his chair in an uncomfortable way. He is reacting like I might be a stalking wolf. Frightened. It saddens me.
 
"H-heeyy, Snowflake. I was just, uh, just checking tomorrow's, uh....schedule." Jimmy clicked the mouse a couple of times. He had not been looking at the schedule. He had been on the Internet. Such things are considered ok here. The managers do not care, so long as people are checked in on time.
 
"It is ok, but you look distressed, Jimmy! I am very sorry about this morning. It was very wrong of me to barge in on you and Brian like I did. I think I must have had too much vodka the night before." I try to smile, and even though I am not good at such things, it does seem to make Jimmy relax a little bit.
 
Jimmy shifts in his seat as he attempts to avoid my gaze, though he seems compelled to look up and hold my stare.
 
I force myself to look away so he can settle down more. I forget about staring. It’s not uncomfortable for me to do it, so I forget other people find it, what is the word? ‘Creepy’ I think it's been called. Very strange.
 
"It’s no problem, really, Snowflake. You didn't know he had, um...company...so..." I could tell Jimmy was struck by a pang of hurt as he remembered. He is so young and so open to things. He really opened himself up totally to Brian with almost reckless abandon! It has often concerned me about my young friend, and yet, am I not in the same boat? But Jimmy has such a sweet disposition. He is so easy to convince and to lead into things.
 
It is like Brian is a sorcerer! His mere coming is his seduction. He rides in and conquers! Was there such a thing as a male Valkyrie in the old myths? Certainly, if not, then he would be the first. Look, here I am speaking poetically about him again.
 
I realise that my thoughts have caused an already uncomfortable situation to become even more so for poor, sweet Jimmy. In that pause he seems to read me like a book. He is not unintelligent. He is merely inexperienced and too unguarded. He is perceptive and sensitive in ways I probably will never be. I think sometimes my head is as hard as a block of blue ice!
 
"You like Brian, don't ya Snowflake?" Jimmy asks so simply, sweetly, and sadly.
 
I am a man of physical action. Talking in this way exhausts me, and my slowly thawing heart seems to give me new impulses that I did not have before. I find myself walking around behind Jimmy's chair slowly, as if thinking of a response. He turns to track my movements and stiffens a little as my hands softly grip his burgeoning traps and hardening shoulder muscles. He is growing so strong! Unconsciously, my hands begin their work. Jimmy cannot help but melt as I massage his strain away.
 
It is something we do after our workout sessions together. I taught him many of these things about reflexology and deep tissue massage. Through our mutual massage we learned to communicate best. Especially when I was first learning to speak better English. Sometimes I only had my touch skills to 'say' thank you or 'affectionately yours' or some such.
 
My thumbs slowly work his upper spine and neck, and the two pressure points just under the skull. Jimmy moans and melts further into my touch.
 
"I do like Brian. I will not lie to you. I do not understand why. We have barely met, but there is this..." Jimmy rolls his head on his shoulder and then looks up at me with those piercing green eyes of his.
 
"...connection." He finishes my sentence for me. I press deep into the nerve nodes on the inner edges of his shoulder blades. An affirmative reward for getting my meaning. Jimmy closes his eyes and shivers, and smiles that sweet smile of his.
 
"Please do not be mad at me, Jimmy. I am very confused by all this. I don't know what is happening. I haven't English words to express it and there really is not anything in the Finnish to express it either." Jimmy reaches up and gently grasps the sides of my face and pulls me into a kiss on my cheek.
 
It confuses me even more.
 
"Love comes quickly. Whatever you do, you can't stop falling." Jimmy sings to me a verse from an old Pet Shop Boys song that he taught me to dance to. It is so insightful that my eyes go wide, and my mouth slackens as I look at Jimmy who is now chuckling at my reaction.
 
"How on earth could I ever get mad at that face?" Jimmy's slight southern lilt and lisp are things I have always enjoyed hearing.
 
"It’s no loss if I lost that boy to you, Snowmuffin. I know now Brian is a playa'. I let my emotions and the heat of the moment take me down that silly road I get down sometimes."
 
Jimmy refers to his excesses when it comes to feelings and relationships. He has admitted in the past that he'd let his dreams run off with him many times. When he was younger, it used to be dangerous because he would hurt himself. But with counselling he'd learned how to control himself so that he'd not get that upset again.
 
But that control only extended as far as him not hurting himself physically. He still tended to invest too much, too early in things, I have seen. It often left him hurting in his heart.
 
That is what scares me about this situation with Brian and me. Am I investing too much too early? Am I in danger of losing myself to feelings as Jimmy tends to do? This is not something I am prepared for. I fear for my sanity should this end badly...which my experience has already taught me that these things often do.
 
Jimmy turns toward me in his chair, and he pulls me down into a squat in front of him as if I were a child in need of a talking to.
 
"Now, ya look here, Snowmuffin." The timbre of Jimmy's voice deepens and softens as he talks to me this way.
 
"My Meemaw used to say somethin' to me that didn't make too much sense at the time, but it did later. When I went out there with her after I had my...problem...she'd tell me, she'd say:
 
'Jimmyboy, chil'e, they's a time and they's a place for all things ta' come in they season. The mulberry tree only done puts up its mulberries once a year and only for a few weeks at the bestest. You come too early, they ain't none. You come too late and they all gone. So you gotta know when to look and when to pick em, or ya miss em...so always look for the signs of mulberry time, baby!'" Jimmy's mimicking of his grandmother's way of speaking is very amusing. I can't help but smile.
 
"She'd then go shuffle off and make toast with homemade mulberry jam for us with some iced tea, makin' the point hit home." Jimmy finishes looking back through time, and his beautiful green eyes sparkle with fondness. Those eyes shift down to fix on mine, and his smile brightens. A single tear falls down his cheek.
 
"It's mulberry pickin' time, Snowmuffin. Don't miss ‘em! They taste...mighty good!" He winks at me, and then wraps me in a big hug. I hug him back rather stiffly. Open displays of emotion still make me feel awkward.
 
"Uh-hem." We both look over to regard a man in a suit standing there. He is looking at us rather uncomfortably. Jimmy turns in his chair away from me, and his genuine, yet professional, smile greets the man. The man for his part cannot help but smile back a little. Jimmy's sweet disposition is infectious.
 
"Um, sorry to interrupt. I need to check out." The man says shyly. I can detect a little blush on his cheeks as he speaks with Jimmy.
 
His suit is a fine cut. Possibly French or Italian make. He looks up at me and his mouth opens wide as he sees me rise from my crouch behind Jimmy's chair. I find it a strange expression until I remember how bizarre I appear to normal people.
 
"I...I shall talk to you later, Jimmy." I pat him on the shoulder, and go to move away trying to escape the awkward stare.
 
"Wait!" The man says reaching for me in an effort to stop me from going. I stop, or rather, freeze in my tracks.
 
"You are Jösse 'Snowflake' Halla aren't you?" the man asks, and his rather sharp features transform into an excited smile far too excessive for meeting me, in my estimation.
 
"Yes." I answer tersely.
 
This does not give my new acquaintance any pause. He takes hold of my hand and shakes it vigorously. I attempt to retrieve my hand but it is useless. The man has a very strong grip. A skier's grip.
 
"You, sir! You are a God among men! I can't believe this!" The man is nearly bouncing up and down with exuberance as a boy might. I feel the rising tingle of embarrassment creep up my back.
 
"I hardly think so, Mr….?" I feel it only polite to inquire after his name, though I may learn to regret it later.
 
"Victor! Vic! Vic Camarata!" Another volley of vigorous handshakes hits me. Mr. Camarata is alive with enthusiasm. I have no idea why.
 
He is not unattractive, Mr. Camarata. He has classically Roman features for an Italian American. He is not as swarthy as a Sicilian. His hair can be described as a soft curly mass of dark blonde and brown hair. His eyes are hazel as opposed to brown and his jawline is extraordinary as is his sculpted 'Roman' nose. His smile displays a set of perfect teeth. White and natural by birth, not by cosmetics. This is not to say that I find Sicilians unattractive. I have met many who are heartbreakers. It is just unusual, in my limited experience, to meet an Italian of an older strain. Vic looks like an ancient Roman bust made flesh.
 
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Camarata. I trust you had a fun ski trip here at Boreal Resort?" I put on my professional smile. It is not as good or as genuine as Jimmy's, but it seems to make Vic's own smile wider and happier.
 
"It was ok until I met you! Now it's out of this world! I've followed your career since you won the two Golden Snowflakes at the FIS Championship in Lahti!" Vic exclaims with enthusiasm. His bright hazel eyes are positively glowing, and his curly hair continues to bounce with every movement.
 
I blush a bit, which must look particularly awkward with my pale complexion. The Lahti FIS Championship was my first major event, and my taking home the gold in cross-country and Nordic combined floored the media in all of Scandinavia. Norway was assured the victory, and I was a dark horse nobody. But I pulled it off, and I did so in my homeland! The Salpausselkä or ski jump of Lahti Finland is famous as are the cross-country skiing circuits. I went on to win gold in the following winter Olympiad, and earned the title of Triple Crown Champion when I conquered Holmenkollen in Norway.
 
"Wow! You're even bashful about it! Are you for real?" Vic laughed rather loudly, drawing attention to himself and me, which made me even more uncomfortable.
 
"Forgive me, Mr. Camarata. I am...not so easy with compliments. I never have been. Are you on your way home?" I try not to sound too hopeful with my question, but I hope it is enough to deflect him from pulling out my history for all to hear. The pictures and gold medals in the case in the hall are bad enough, but management insists they are needed to prove the fact that a multi-gold medalist trains at the Auburn Ski Camp.
 
Vic, for his part, is not a rock. He is not without empathy, and so he stands down and answers my question agreeably if more sedately.
 
"Yeah...unfortunately. I need to head back to San Francisco to work a deal I'm trying to land with Hugo Boss. I own a custom suit shop downtown there. I'd like to sell Boss designs, but can't without a franchise deal." Vic cannot help but run his fingers up and down the silky lapels of his high fashion suit.
 
"So, y'all are checkin' out today, Mr. Camarata?" Jimmy's sweet voice rings like the bell that saves me. I wink at him as Vic turns away to face Jimmy.
 
"What's your name, cutie? Oh...I'm such a dumb sonovabitch. Ha! You got your name plate right here." Vic picks it up to look at it with some theatrics I do not understand.
 
"Jimmy! Well...you look like a Jimmy. My gosh! You can't be much more than 17! Total jailbait!" Vic has no shame, it seems. Jimmy blushes, but smiles one of his glowing smiles. I cannot help but smile with him. Its obvious Vic is an insufferable flirt on top of being an ardent ski fan.
 
"Truth be told, Mr. Cam--" Jimmy is interrupted rather abruptly.
 
"Call me Vic, please! If you are gonna be 'Jimmy' then I'm gonna have to be Vic, but not Vicky. I don't much care for Vicky." Vic's infectious humour and smile make Jimmy visibly shiver.
 
"We-eell, truth be told, Mr., er, Vic, I am currently no less than 22 years of age." Now Jimmy flashes that come hither look with his eyes. His southern American accent, 'twang' they call it, deepens somewhat.
 
"Really! Well you look good for a man of your advanced years, Jimmy." Vic leans in a little closer to Jimmy, and Jimmy literally giggles. It’s obvious now that Vic is gay, and this is his mating dance. I seem to be totally forgotten. Thank God! I endeavour to make my escape, but I am not fast enough.
 
"Oh! Mr. Snowflake!! Before you run off, here...!" Vic spins a turn on his heel, and I have a sharply designed card in my hand that looks like a tuxedo top with silver for the shirt part.
 
"Next time you're in the City drop by! We'll do lunch-dinner! Open invitation to you for anything you want and I'm payin'! Any time! Any place!" Vic's Roman charm is bewitching, and I smile and nod a silent thank you.
 
With that same dancer's grace, he spins back to Jimmy while they continue their mutual seduction. I have a feeling Mr. Camarata will be spending an extra evening here tonight.
 
Ah Jimmy...you sweet sexy little devil. You have someone else to moon over for a while.
 
His words continue to haunt me, though: "It's mulberry pickin' time, Snowmuffin. Don't miss ‘em! They taste...mighty good!"
 
How can someone so young and so sweetly silly have such wisdom to make what I thought complicated so very simple? I ponder this as I head for my short nap in my cabin.
 
~~~~~
 
In my cabin I look up, and stare at my ceiling. I have stencilled little snowflakes in dark blue against the white paint. I have counted each one that I drew, and have numbered each crystal branch. Counting the branches often helps me fall asleep when I have had a nervous day. But this is not happening for me right now.
 
My counting is interrupted continuously by Brian's face with that endearing leer he has and with that wolfish smile with those burning blue eyes. The snowflakes on my ceiling melt into those eyes and become those eyes.
 
Brian is with me even when he is not with me. I am going insane.
 
Clearly.
 
Now I've taken to tossing my hacky sack up, and then catching it different ways. This often relaxes me. My brother used to make fun of me saying that I don't play with the hacky sack right, and that I am only supposed to use my feet. But I didn't care. I liked catching it with my hands. It’s softer than a ball, and it makes a shake sound when you catch it.
 
But this does not relax me either. The sack feels strangely like testicles in my hand, and that of course, brings me back to Brian. What an obscenely absurd notion to think of this hacky sack in that way. I have had it since I was a boy. It was a gift from my older brother and it is...a memory of him. Now it is Brian's testicles. I am going insane.
 
Clearly!
 
There is no point of trying to sleep anymore, so I decide to get up and forego my nap for the day. I will regret it later, but when one cannot sleep it is just frustrating to try to force the issue.
 
I find my legs moving me out of my cabin, and over the snow covered ground. Snow, when it crunches under my feet, always centres me. It is my natural element, I suppose. Much like water is for swimmers or good ground is for runners. It guides me to where I need to be, and this time it causes me to backtrack over my own footprints from earlier, returning to the lodge.
 
I enter the lodge and Jimmy and Vic are still chatting. The manager, Edmond is his name, looks on with disinterest as he walks back and forth reassigning key cards for vacant rooms. Vic must look rich to Edmond, so he won't interfere with Jimmy's charms if it means he can charge a higher fee for any later visits Vic may make here or for an extra night.
 
Jimmy brightens as he sees me walk through the door, which causes Vic to turn and regard me with a touch of annoyance. I must have interrupted a particularly winsome moment between the two.
 
"Hey Snowmuffin! Couldn't sleep?" Jimmy asks with the good humour Vic seems to have returned to him.
 
"Jöo. 'Tis ok. I think I will have an early vodka to warm my bones a bit. Please do not let me interrupt." I bow slightly to Vic and move off toward the bar with the hope of still finding Brian there. I supposed my bow is an old hang up from somewhere in Europe I was skiing. Probably Switzerland. That country has a way of imprinting strange behaviours on a person. No one bows to anyone in Finland. That's something horrible that only Germans and Russians do.
 
I walk into the darkened bar which is still deserted for the most part. That will pick up later around late afternoon when the snow bunnies will come in to start their evening bacchanalia.
 
Brian is sitting on the bar stool with his back to me and...behold...Sabrina is with him leaning in his direction obviously discussing something of import.
 
Upon closer observation, I come to determine that Brian is half-assed, off the sled drunk. It is not quite 3:00 in the afternoon! To be drunk so early is not a good way to start an athletic career. That should come later, when all you have are your laurels to wear and your memories to keep.
 
Despite my thoughts on this, Brian is an adorable drunk. His cheeks are rosy, and somehow his blonde hair becomes messed up like it is standing on end. It is cute, and it makes me happy to see.
 
But alas, it is but 3:00 PM, and on top of that he is injured! Whiskey and injuries do not mix well at all! Vodka is a much better medicine!
 
"You shouldn't be getting drunk! Especially at this hour! What about your leg, you fool?" My hands reach, they touch, they squeeze. Brian's muscles in his shoulders are exquisite! I could knead them forever as if they were bread dough.
 
Though he is looking at me, Brian also keeps glancing over at Sabrina. I follow his gaze, and my hands stop their kneading. Now I am ashamed of myself.
 
Sabrina looks so very sad. She has been crying. My throat goes dry as she smiles at me, but in that way that isn't a smile. I do not know what to call that in English. She stands as if to leave, and my hands move from Brian to reach for her. I have hurt Sabrina. She must know about Brian and me. It is too soon! I did not have time to explain to her this thing very well. My blubbering idiocy earlier that she comforted so sweetly, that wasn't enough! I needed to tell her in the Finnish. She can speak. I can make her understand better!
 
'Gently, Snowflake. The women are to be treated gently! They are not rough like we men! Gently!' my ukki would say to me. My grandfather was the one to teach me how to interact better with people, particularly girls. My family did not yet know that I was primarily gay.
 
"Where are you off to so soon, söpöliini? Did you want to make plans for our vodka this evening?" What a stupid thing to ask! Good God, I am so much an idiot when it comes to Sabrina!
 
"Ah...not tonight, Blanco. I've got a little headache. I'll catch up with you two tomorrow. Have fun." Her smile sends shivers through me, but not good ones. It’s the one she uses for guests who are being complete assholes. Now I am the asshole in question.
 
Oh, how could I do this to her? To Sabrina of all people! She was the first to welcome me here, and to make me feel at home in a place so much different than my homeland. She became my best friend, my lover, my crutch.
 
Now I speak of her in the past tense. A tense she helped me master in English.
 
I should go with her. I need to make things right with her! I need to make things right for him too. Both facets of her jewel-like person need to be given the peace Jimmy now has. But how? We have been together for five years. We never committed to anything, but that is really something I still do not understand. Where I am from, people make bonds that last lifetimes. To break such bonds is to break everything!
 
She walks away. I let her.
I just let her go.
 
"Hey, Iceman, show me some stuff. I may not be able to practice right now, or try them out, but you can at least show me some of your moves when driving the skis." I hear this, and Brian's power shows its dominance over me.
 
Whatever hold Sabrina had on me has been wrested away. With this simple statement, Brian fixes me to him with a bond that will never break. Not even in death. We may go separate ways. We may even take new lovers. But, we will always be bound. This is the will of the Norns. This is our destiny.
 
A freedom rises in my heart that I have never known before. A warmth spreads from my breast and outward to the rest of my body. I feel drunk with it!
 
My ice is melting, and the cage around my soul is turning to water and flowing away in rivers of happiness.
 
It is springtime and the mulberries, it would seem, are ready to be picked.
 
"Ok! This we can do! The cold will also sober your drunk ass up! We can then warm up later with vodka, and get properly fucked up. Come on!" I wonder if Brian can detect the slight quiver in my voice. I don't even know what I am saying, I am so full of joy.
 
We go together! We go toward our new tomorrow!
 
~~~~~
 
My buttocks flex ever so slightly as I continue my slow grind. My hardened sex buries deeper into my hot lover. His hips rise slightly to press the cheeks of his own ass against my pelvis. In slow gyrations I push down as he pushes up. There is not a sound but our heavy breathing, and the faint sound of skin slipping against skin.
 
My leg encircles and isolates Brian's bad knee so he is not tempted to move it. A couple of times as his passions rose, he tried to move it and it hurt. I tense my leg muscles around his each time he moves too much.
 
Yet as slow and methodical as we both fuck each other, the moment arises where neither of us has much control, and the slow mounting passion only intensifies the climbing orgasms.
 
I feel his tight anus grip and release me as I continue my gentle pumping. The silk of his inner walls are of an exquisite texture, and his enthusiastic counter thrusts increases his friction against me.
 
Before even he does, I begin to feel his climax coming. It starts as a small rhythmic pulsing that then expands to strong contractions.
 
"OH Fuck, Snowflake!! I'm cumming! OH UNN…mmmf!" Brian buries his head in his pillow as he moans loudly into it. His butt and hips grind up against me, pulling me in deeper into his convulsing body. He tenses his muscles around me, and pulls on my sex ravenously.
 
It is far too much stimulation for me, and I bury my own head into Brian's back. It does not afford the same muffling as his pillow does.
 
"Ahhhhhh! Uhhhhhh..." I yell as my own hips convulse, and I pump my semen into Brian's body. My penis swells and jerks in rhythm with Brian's own contractions.
 
The pleasure is almost unbearable, as is the miraculous joy of our first intimacy in this way. The first full sharing of our bodies with one another.
 
Spent, I lay sweating and out of breath on top of him as my sex softens and pops itself from the confines of Brian's body. Brian pants beneath me.
 
At some point, free of my boa like constriction on his bad leg, Brian manages to turn beneath me, and lock me into a tight embrace. He pulls me into a deep hard kiss nearly as sensual as the sex we just had.
 
It is an amazing pleasure to feel your lover's sex and your sex wet and together with our pubic mounds pressed against one another's.
 
I slip my weight down so that the weight of my pelvis now rests on the bed, while Brian's sex presses against my tummy. We fall asleep like this, wrapped up in each other's arms.
 
I awaken later. Brian's rhythmic breathing under me lets me know that he is still asleep. But despite that, he has become aroused again, and every now and then I feel his sex press hard against me. I know that this is the time for my first penetration for I have never been, what is the word? I have never been the 'bottom' during sex before. Mostly this is because Sabrina does not fancy sex as Sebastian, and so insists on playing the female role during love making.
 
I begin to caress and massage Brian's body as my own penis hardens against his nethers. I kiss him down his torso, and lick at his pink nipples and then his belly button. He tastes so good to me. The richest of desserts.
 
Finally I take him into my mouth and slowly glide my mouth and tongue up and down his magnificent staff of life. He moans, and rolls his hips sensually in time with my light sucking.
 
"Ohhh...yeeeeeah." Brian says in his half-sleep as he begins to waken. "Ohhh, yeah!" This last one comes out more like a whimper.
 
I taste the first droplets of his pre-seminal juices upon my tongue. I roll my mouth around him, and then pull up and release with a pop.
 
"Don't stop. Oh fuck. Don't stop." Brian exhales dreamily.
 
But I must stop, because he is fully ready now. I reach for the bottle of lubricating jelly, and put it in my hands. I rub it together vigorously like Brian showed me so that it will warm up.
 
I then lovingly place it on his pulsing shaft in easy slow caresses. "Whazthat? Ooo. Lube?" Brian wakes up fully at that and looks up at me with a look of astonishment.
 
"Whaddya doin', Snowballs?" A new term of affection. I rather like that one.
 
"What do you think I am doing, Toastiebuns? I'm getting you ready!" I giggle at his look of near horror. I cannot tell if it is at my intentions or at my new name for him. It is pretty sickening, I agree.
 
"Re-ready for what, babe? What are we gonna do?" He seems concerned, but that does not make the iron in his sex any less rigid. I have him well worked up now. There can be no turning back. He needs release. I will give it to him...and good!
 
I rub his shaft up and down to work the lube in well. This causes Brian to sigh, and collapse back flat on his back. But this is not the position I want for my red hot lover.
 
I proceed to mount him, straddling his waist. I sit back on his rock hard erection and glide the length of my anal cleft against it. The sensation causes Brian to raise up on his elbows, and strain against me with sexual excitement. He whimpers from the intensity of the feelings, and his breath catches as I allow the glans of his penis to find my hole.
 
My movements are slow and precise. I know how to work my body and I use my core muscles to move my hips in slow circles as his cockhead begins to enter me. At that point I feel the first pang of resistance. Brian is panting now while I wince. He holds my hips to steady me, and to help align my position, but I can't get much more in.
 
"I...I think I am stuck, Brian!" I say with a little panic.
 
Brian relaxes and withdraws, and I gasp with the sudden feeling of emptiness. He has sat up with me now, and is holding me tight to his chest in a gentle bear hug.
 
He kisses me deeply and then sits me on his lap sans throbbing member. Breaking his kiss he looks deep into my eyes, and at once I am lost in the depths of a deep blue sea. I sigh a shuddering sigh at the beauty of the moment.
 
"You're ok, sweetie. You just aren't relaxed enough yet. This is your first time isn't it?" Brian's voice is at once tender, sexy, and surprised. He didn't know I was virgin there. Well...actually I am not virgin, but....my first and last time before this was not by my consent or will.
 
I nod and blush a little. I look down because I suddenly feel the old shame of that rape. But I feel two warm hands on either side of my face redirect my gaze, and I'm caught in that blue world of Brian's loving eyes.
 
"Hand me the lube, Snowflake," he gently commands. I obey. The slight movement of my incredibly aroused sex against Brian's stomach as I reach nearly makes me go over the edge, but I manage to hold myself, though I shudder.
 
He takes the lube and smothers his fingers with it. He is not shy about the amount. It drips onto the sheets and into my lap which gives me an exciting sting of cold.
 
He manages to pull my bulk closer to him so that his face is in my neck and our chests are pressed together. He begins to lick and kiss my shoulder and neck. I almost release at these feelings, and I shiver. As he distracts me in this way, he begins probing my hole with his lubricated fingers.
 
First he touches the bud of it, then he gently pushes his finger tip in, and then applies steady pressure as my muscles give way.
 
I am alive with throbbing arousal as I feel his finger reach in and pump my insides. I cannot help but to pump my hips counter to his finger thrusts. Soon I feel the other finger, and he works that one in. I feel the stretch, a slight pang, and then my muscles relax and his two fingers sink into me to the last knuckle.
 
It is here that I experience something I have never known before. A prostate massage! That makes a strained cry come from my throat, and I find myself squeezing Brian deeper into my chest.
 
"What the fuck was that!! Oh my god!" I exclaim, still dizzy from the feeling. I know I must have erupted all over Brian's lap!
 
Pushing away to capture my look, Brian laughs a little:
"Oh yeah, Snowplow, you're good and ready now!" Brian grins.
 
Encouraged, I eagerly slide down his abdomen, and reposition myself so that Brian's pulsing member presses against my nether lips. I gently sit back and feel him enter me slowly.
 
Brian's mouth comes agape and I feel him shiver a bit as my body consumes him. This time the resistance is much less, and though I still feel the initial discomfort of the invasion, I do not feel the cramping sharpness inside, slamming things shut.
 
In no time I feel his genital girth stretch me in the most pleasing way, and then his hard glans finds my 'magic button'.
 
"Ahh!" An uncontrollable utterance of pure ecstasy comes from somewhere inside me that is pure sex. Now all I want is to reproduce that sensation again and again and again...
 
So I begin to rock back and forth and grind from side to side instinctively to position Brian to reach me there...and his instrument does so perfectly.
 
"Voi Luoja!" I nearly yell as Brian begins thrusting to meet my movements. The sensations are so intense that it's like each rocking, thrusting motion makes me orgasm.
 
Brian's look is riveting. His mouth is held open slightly, and his eyes are hooded, but intense, and bore right into me. Blush pumps into his cheeks, and his breath comes in sharp pants with each movement.
 
His hands sensually massage my buttocks as we move. With another strangled moan I passionately reach forward and kiss Brian hard and sloppily. The emotions are beyond description. He is my entire world! My whole self. My whole life. My only pleasure. My only need.
 
Brian buries his face into my chest and begins a rhythmic grunting that becomes moaning. He holds me tighter, and his thrusts become harder and deeper.
 
My arms and hands wrap around his head, and I fear I may suffocate him against my bosom. I can't seem to get Brian into me any deeper than just his penis. I want his face and his hair and his beautifully sculptured neck. I want us to become one flesh somehow.
 
With a sudden violence I was not quite prepared for, Brian pushes me away, and I manage to sink him into my ass deeper as I suddenly am caused to sit back. I yelp with the burst to my prostate, and pre-seminal juices start to leak freely from the hardest erection I have ever had. My penis should ache with the hardness, but each thrusting pulse of Brian's potency shatters all sensations into monumental pleasure.
 
He catches both my hands, and I find myself balancing against them as he lightly, but tightly, grips them. He then begins the undulating movement beneath me that at first causes my breath to stop, but then start again in great sighing surges from my lungs.
 
Brian matches my breaths, and his eyes and mine connect unblinking. Suddenly we are in a circuit of movement so perfectly giving that I seem to feel his pleasure at my surrounding him, and he can feel my ecstasy at his penetration.
 
The movements do not speed up, but they become deeper and stronger as only two trained athletes can achieve. We seem to both exist in this timeless, tantric trance for a life's age of the world.
 
Then the feeling inside begins to build stronger, stronger, and stronger. Our breaths become rapid pants, and I feel Brian's deep thrusting sex begin to swell. His hands grip mine with almost painful tightness.
 
The feeling of his impending ejaculation, and the increased girth of him inside me, reach and touches me in the perfectly right place.
 
Together our faces turn to the ceiling as an almighty straining groan comes from both of us at once.
 
Then....explosion!
 
Brian and I howl like pack wolves as the most incredible orgasm in the history of mankind takes us both on its long ride.
 
His thrusts become hard bouncing pushes, which in turn puts perfect pressure on my prostate. Without having to touch myself, the orgasm pulses out from my prostate and inside of my ass, up through my penis, and out and up toward my head.
 
As I cum, so does Brian.
 
He bellows into my chest as I feel his sweet essence flood my insides. It is the most satisfying warmth I have ever known.
 
I shoot again, and then he shoots, and then I shoot, and then we are shooting together the last of our man magic.
 
When the shockwaves of our sexual earthquake pass, Brian collapses back down onto his pillow, and I slump down on top of him. We both are breathing very hard, trying to catch our breaths. Both of us are doused with sweat, not unlike someone who has just completed a full six K segment of a marathon.
 
After a few minutes like this, Brian's erection fades sufficiently for it to ease out my body. I feel wetness ooze down between my legs.
 
I already miss him inside me.
 
We gently kiss, and Brian stares with tired joy. "You bottom better than you top, Snowballs. I can't remember ever having it that good before...especially as a top." I smile, and resume kissing his face and neck.
 
For a moment he pauses, and pushes me up with his face and head so that he can stare into my eyes.
 
"I...I am in love with you Jösse." Brian says with a creak in his voice. It is such a vulnerable truth for this seemingly vain and prideful man that I cannot help but deeply believe it...and yet...
 
"You are very special to me, Brian. I feel we will be together...for a long time." I rest my head on his chest, and hear his heart pump. I literally melt all over him. I am so content.
 
We fall asleep together and I rest the most peaceful sleep I have ever experienced.
strong style="font-size:1.7em;line-height:1.4em;">Thanks for Reading
Comments are always welcome.
Copyright © 2017 MrM; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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:blushing::P:wub::heart::blushing::kiss: Oh man, the lovemaking was out of this world, in spite of the sadness of knowing what happened in Snowflake's past. :(
Brian is brave to admit his feelings, and I want to :hug: him for doing so. I hope Snowflake stays melted, but I'm sure Brian will hug him and fuck him and kiss him and bliss him until he finnally believes with all his heart that the love is real and the forever kind. I shall now go to bed and dream sweet dreams of fire and ice and the hottest sex on a mountain. :P

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On 09/26/2015 07:40 AM, Timothy M. said:

:blushing::P:wub::heart::blushing::kiss: Oh man, the lovemaking was out of this world, in spite of the sadness of knowing what happened in Snowflake's past. :(

Brian is brave to admit his feelings, and I want to :hug: him for doing so. I hope Snowflake stays melted, but I'm sure Brian will hug him and fuck him and kiss him and bliss him until he finnally believes with all his heart that the love is real and the forever kind. I shall now go to bed and dream sweet dreams of fire and ice and the hottest sex on a mountain. :P

:hug: Sleep well! Dream of northern lights and kisses thereunder. :D

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Great chapter even though it revealed something horrible from Snowflake's past.

 

I like Jimmy so I have to say that I hope Vic will become his proper boyfriend not just someone for one night only.

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On 10/02/2015 04:12 PM, Suvitar said:

Great chapter even though it revealed something horrible from Snowflake's past.

 

I like Jimmy so I have to say that I hope Vic will become his proper boyfriend not just someone for one night only.

Snowflake, as Sabrina has said, has had a hard life.

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Nice chapter, and OMG Brian and Jösse, they move fast forward.
But lube only ? I mean, a medical student with a history of many sexual partners... it seems a bit irresponsable for/towards his new found lover.

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On 03/02/2017 10:55 PM, Northern Dutch Guy said:

Nice chapter, and OMG Brian and Jösse, they move fast forward.

But lube only ? I mean, a medical student with a history of many sexual partners... it seems a bit irresponsable for/towards his new found lover.

Perhaps it is an implied measure of trust on Brian's part. I don't know, I'll have to ask him :P

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4 hours ago, Homosapiens said:

We got the deets (details) and the heat I so wanted. Thanks! Loving it.

 

-_-

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Once again the description of anal penetration is beautifully done, but I am concerned thay Snowflake and Brian don't care enough about each other to use protection. Brian as a medical student has probably been checked, after all, he realizes that he is gay and knows enough to not infect a partner, but does Snowflake?

It is most interesting that Snowflake feels that his native language is inadequate to express his emotions. Can a language express the coldness of the country? And are Finns really that unfeeling?

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MrM

Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, Will Hawkins said:

Once again the description of anal penetration is beautifully done, but I am concerned thay Snowflake and Brian don't care enough about each other to use protection. Brian as a medical student has probably been checked, after all, he realizes that he is gay and knows enough to not infect a partner, but does Snowflake?

It is most interesting that Snowflake feels that his native language is inadequate to express his emotions. Can a language express the coldness of the country? And are Finns really that unfeeling?

The lack of a condom is actually a ‘negative space’ voiceless dialog of trust between Snowflake and Brian. I did it purposefully. As you saw with Jimmy, Brian is very conscious of safe-sex. Snowflake must also be conscious as an experienced pansexual. So, the condition may be a conscious or unconscious understanding between the two that opens them up to trusting one another. I’m voting for unconscious.

Finns, from the ones I’ve met, are actually extremely passionate people. They are so passionate that they have learned to control themselves for the interests of their society. Also, things translate differently in Finnish. The concept of ‘love’ for instance, when said in a certain way, is so sacred and thought to be so important that it is only said at certain key times in a person’s life.

At a baby’s birth, a betrothal, a marriage. It can be said at times when a person needs it particularly like when their sisu (perseverance) has been expended and they need the extra powerful injection of love to keep them alive.  It is often said when death is near.

In a way, it is the most beautiful expression of love I have ever found. A love who’s word is so sacred that it is often only said once in a lifetime.

Edited by MrM
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I did a little internet exploration just recently and discovered that some of my preconceived notions about Finland are unfounded at least. Firstly, the country is not as frigid as it might be because of the effect of the Gulf Stream on their weather, secondly, Finnish is not quite as difficult a language as might be supposed for native English speakers to master as there is a lot of Swedish influence in ordinary speech, though it is not one of the easiest either because it has no Latin or Germanic roots which many English speakers rely upon in learning a foreign language, and finally the coldness of the climate does not have an adverse effect on the warmth of the people -- except possibly toward their Russia neighbors, though that has warmed slightly in recent years. I feel the Finns should maintain their stand-offish attitude toward the Russians, keeping in mind the recent Russian attacks in the Baltic.

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Keep an eye on the Russian province of Karelia. I have uncomfortable feelings about that place. I actually address them later.

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