The Night's Delight - 1. Awakening to Moonlight

I wake up to the smell of mold and coppery blood. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest like a jackhammer, almost as if it is bursting to be released from under my skin. When my thoughts begin to form properly, I yank each arm, finding myself to be bound I start struggling with the other parts of my body. Damn, both my arms and chest are bound to a concrete floor, which I am currently slumped on.

I peel open my eyes and look around. I am in a concrete cell, surrounded by chains which dig into my skin irritably, causing me to moan in agony. I look down to see my bare chest, my abs are covered in blood, and I can see my old scars and new. I look around more, seeing a high window with bars across it, letting the moonlight pour in with a heavy metal door and a mirror on one of the walls. I look at myself, all man with a heart of dignity and strength.

The person who looks back at me has spiky brown hair, big blue/green eyes and a very tall and muscular frame. A frame that made girls and guys alike come to a standstill in their tracks and competition shake in their shoes. Not anymore, my name is Ben, and after quitting the American Army to come back to the USA I still kept my body sharp and toned, and I still did undercover jobs for the government. That's what got me into this shitty mess, a bargain with an actual demon that cost me everything. After arriving at my home one after, I discovered that it had been burned down. That is when I got attacked from behind, and all because I didn't listen to my stupid brother. "Take one of my people with you at all times, you need to be careful and guarded."  That's what he said, being the big macho leader of the vampires and all.

That is how people interpret vampires, thinking them to be lanky, slender and fast. Well only the last one is true, vampires are actually like people and come in all shapes and sizes. My brother was bitten and worked his way up the power-ladder by fighting to the death. Now, being their King and leader, he controls them all. Rider looks like me, all muscle, strength, and a newfound quickness after being bitten. I, on the other hand, am still human and an apparent target for those wanting to get at him. As his human brother, and the strongest of the family, I got to be that target. I moan again as I rub my sore wrists, still with the shackles attached, and notice other pairs of shackles attached to the floors and walls. Probably I'll be getting company soon.

Just then I hear booted feet thumping down the hallway to my door, so I slump down again and act to be still out cold. I hear the door swing open and there is another, muffled cry of pain before I hear shackles being locked. I feel someone kick my foot, then mutter about my being unresponsive. I hear the ripping sound of tape being pulled off someones mouth, then the door bangs closed and it is silent. I raise my head and look over at the other captive and stop, holy shit! This guy had to be way taller than my 6'0 and therefore dwarfed me, and he also looks to be about my age of 20 years old. Black hair, military spiked like mine, stood up from the guy who would have been able to kill the biggest football player without even a thought. Huge muscles rippled along his body, but instead of being full of veins and looking gross, his muscles were smooth and toned, like mine. Mine are certainly not as big though, and my eyes go from his body to his eyes...which are staring into mine.

I give a start when I notice how dark his eyes are, pitch black, but the only thing is that even when he is not in the light, his eyes have a literal sparkle to them. Not like glitter, but like a twinkle, as if a star located in the sky... oh no, not going there. I like gals, have decided it from the first day, but damn did this guy have that I-suddenly-want-to-be-gay-so-that-I-can-get-with-him effect. I am startled out of my thoughts by the white teeth that appear with the deep timbre voice which says, " Why are you in here, human?" I immediately feel offended, god, I might be a human but I can still kick ass. I look him right in the eye and say, " I could ask you the same." This brings a laugh out of him that makes the skin at the back of my neck crawl, but not in a bad way. Shuffling closer to me, he flashes me a piercingly white smile and replies, " I don't think you know who you are dealing with, dude." I just lean back cooly and give him an uninterested glance," No, I don't know who you are, but in this situation we appear to be equal."

The guy leans back also and it is now his turn to have some respect, which brings me a puff of boldness. " Actually, who are you?" The guy again looks at me, then leans forward again  and spouts, " I am only just the strongest, most powerful werewolf to be known to anyone. I am, as you would say, Prince Erebus of the Werewolves." I look at him for a moment, not knowing whether to trust him or not, but deciding to keep quite about my brother and let him keep guessing as to why I am hear. While examining each other and chatting, we don't notice the footsteps approaching our door, and suddenly it swings open, breaking our conversation apart and causing us to sit up straight and silent. The man at the door practically pulses with power, black hair combed back in a slick style while piercing blue eyes look at us with humor and darkness.

Erebus immediately growls low in his throat, but the mans attention is currently directed at me. We stare each other down for a minute, the man smirking at me slightly. Then he laughs softly, a sound which chills to to the bones and approaches me stealthily. I am tied sitting down, like Erebus, so I try to sit up as straight as possible and look somewhat dangerous. This seems to amuse him more and he finally stands in front of me, then crouches down to my level, then takes his hand and lifts my head so that he can examine my face. " Ah, here is the young man that Rider was spouting about, trusting me with his claims. The princes brother, they say, am I right?" When I don't answer he chuckles and calls for another man to come in, who I presume is the guard. The man takes out some keys and unlocks the shackles, letting me stand up and rub my wrists, wondering what they are going to do to me. I can feel Erebus's eyes on me and hear him growling dangerously in the background, but I am too focused on the man who is going to kill me.

Wow, everyone is tall, and I thought that my 6'0 was tall, this guy towered over me but many inches, like Erebus. Leaning down so that his lips brush my ear he whispers softly, " Don't worry, I don't plan on killing you, my little pet, all the more fun to play with Riders precious brother." As he says this his arms pick me up and throw me across the room, causing Erebus to yell and the man to laugh mockingly. I groan in pain and feel a wound start to bleed, realizing that I am again wearing no shirt, only my jeans. The man strides over and lifts me up, pressing me against the wall with his body. This time I get angry, the adrenaline causes me sock the guy right in the face and shove him away. The unknowing man stumbles backward holding his nose, but when he looks up again he is snarling. " You will pay for that." Right after saying this to me in my mind, the guy grabs me and hurls me onto the floor. I hear the floor shackles snap onto my wrists and ankles while I regain my head.

The guy just looks down at me for a minute, looking hungrily at my body. I swallow and he notices, leaning down he gently grazes my throat with his teeth and then follows until he is lapping up my blood that has trickled down my chest, causing me to shiver in fear. I look over his shoulder to see Erebus watching in horror, struggling in his own bonds as if to aid me, but then I see the fangs appear from the mans mouth, and everything goes black...

Thanks for reading, let me know how you liked it, and please follow the story! :) Oh, by the way, this is my first gay story, so please give me some tips if you would on writing good gay stories. Oh, and if you don't mind I might come and message some of you for help on different scenes...

Copyright 2012 MuddyRiverGirl; All Rights Reserved
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Chapter Comments

My suggestion for you would be to advertise for a beta reader and an editor. Also, check out the topics on writing in the Writer's Corner. One major thing you should remember, the words we choose to describe the character, setting, etc... need to fit the scene itself and each other.

 

Example: surrounded by chains which dig into my skin irritably, causing me to moan in agony. You describe the way the chains are bound to him as 'irritably' which is a relatively minor discomfort type of word. Then you say he moans in agony because of the way they bind. Agony is an extreme type of pain description. See how those adverbs aren't quite matching up?

 

You could also use some help on flowing your dialogue and your narration. They should be seamless between what the characters are doing and thinking and saying. Your plot could be really interesting and you've introduced some characters that will draw reader's attention. Your first scene is dramatic with a good hook, just polish it up a bit so that your writing skills are on par with your storytelling skills.

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On 02/19/2012 02:01 PM, Billy Martin said:
I look forward to reading more of your story :)
Thank you, I look forward to writing more of it! :)

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