Of course, my therapist said that my little explorations into my childhood needed more work. Her words not mine. In all honesty though, I don't remember much. I guess I blocked out the worse parts. That is, if it could be worse. Who knows. Who cares. I don't. What I had of a childhood sucked anyway. It has no bearing on what my life is about now. This just another part of Noah's hell on earth. I swear that just God sits up there laughing his ass off. When he gets bored he say's to himself, 'What can I do today to make Noah miserable.' 'Why don't he just do us all a favor and off himself.'
Well I can answer that God. I won't give you that pleasure.
Anyway so much for the self-hatred, loathing, whatever. Yeah, I am bitter, who wouldn't be.
Back to the writing you're not reading this to hear me whine.
I dragged my ass out of bed at 6 when the alarm went off. I was so tired. We didn't get home until after midnight. I have gone on less sleep, but I was emotionally and physically drained. I stripped off the sweats I wore to bed. My dad's. They had the marine insignia on the hip. I wore them, so I would feel closer to him. They were a little big and stayed on only above my hips.
I'll let you in on a secret I slept with his used t-shit around my pillow to. His smell was a comfort. I know. your thinking what a perv. It's not like that though. I wanted to remember my dad's smell. That's all, I swear.
I stepped into the shower once I got the water warm. I took my piss there while I let water wash over me. Don't lie you do it too. I let the water slowly wake me up. I washed and yes of course I rubbed one out too. I am teenager. We do that two three times a day. We are walking hormones. I still rub one out three times a day, What the fuck dudes.
Once I was done, I dried off, brushed my teeth, picked out my clothes spike my hair the way I wanted. I like the messy look. I realized I needed a haircut soon. I made it a point to ask Sam where there was a good barber.
I was eating a bowl of cheerio's when Grandpa's nurse came in. She was about 30, pretty but a little on the round side. I figured by her complexion was Latino. She introduced herself as Mary Gonzales. She made herself a cup of coffee. We talked for a few minutes while we both drank our coffee.
She got up and went out and checked on Grandpa who was up early and tinkering in his workshop. I went and gather my stuff and waited for my Sam.
OK maybe he wasn't mine yet. Maybe never but a guy can dream can't he.
I was day dreaming when his truck pulled up in front the house. I figured it to be red. It was really hard to tell. the hood was blue; the right fender was green. The tailgate was black. The predominate color was red though on the main body. Well I think it was between patching. There was so much of it was hard to tell. I hoped in and bumped and took off down the drive.
I had to admit it purred like a kitten though. And the ride was surprising smooth. We made it there in record time. We parked across from the football field. Sam made sure he was away from the main parking area which I though was odd.
"I don't like parking this far out."
"Last year some fool hit my right fender. It took me a month to find this one. I don't want it fucked too."
I followed him to the field he dumped his bag and started stripping. I just stood there with my eyes wide open.
"It's cool bro. These rednecks don't get to school early. They afraid they might get an extra brain cell if they do." He said as he dropped his pants and green boxer briefs in one push. He already had his shirt off so all he had on was a pair of short socks. Yeah, I knew the color of his briefs. I am gay after all. We don't miss much.
I decided what the fuck and started with my high-tops. Those you just can't toe off.
I was bent over as he rummaged in his bag. I got clear view of his ass. Those fuzzy blonde hairs. He squatted farther down. And could see his brown pucker. Fuck! Dude was making me bone. I quickly pulled off my jeans and pulled on navy blue gym shorts. I pulled off my shirt and put on a white one, leaving it hanging out to covering my bone.
He pulled on his jock strap and shorts. Much to my disappointment I wanted him to run naked.
"Can you do ten laps?" he asked after tying up his running shoes.
"Easily." I smirked.
I'd do 100 laps if you were naked.
I followed back about a yard. Not because I couldn't keep up. You guessed it. I wanted to watch his ass. I loved the way it bounced.
It was firm looking but it still had a bounce to it. He is so perfect. Handsome, great body and hot ass. Did I tell you his dick was beautiful too? Fuck Sam was a god. It was even better that he was a nice guy and so fucking cool.
By the time we finished our 10 laps it was a quarter past seven. The school parking lot was still pretty much empty. A few early birds were there. Since most kids took the school buses. I knew most wouldn't be here until around 8.
I followed Sam into the locker room under the bleachers. I felt like I was going into some private jock holy temple. This was like Jock Territory. I almost expected to see an alter with candles with a golden jock strap between them.
No alter, candles and golden jockstrap. I was almost disappointed. It was a plain locker room. Pine sole fresh even. I followed Sam down between the rows of lockers to the shower area. There where showers along the wall like any other school shower. We dropped our bags.
This is where I became nervous. No way was I not going to be not to bone. I stripped right along with Sam. Keeping my eyes averted as I took a shower head first. Sam took the on right next me.
I thought to myself, 'God help me. He is so close that if I bone it will poke him.' I kept my eyes to myself, well mostly. I just stood there and let the water rinse me. No way was I going to touch myself. I would bone up if I did. If I did I would be hard all day.
Sam turned facing me. My jaw dropped. I Instantly boned, because was boned and that was all it took. I must have been staring, because he giggled.
"Sorry, happens every time I shower." He said as he looked down at me. his eyes went wide.
"Damn bro. That thing looks dangerous." I blushed
"Um, hey, do you mind if take care of this. I don't want to boned up all day."
"Ah, yeah, sure, cool, me too." Fuck I couldn't talk.
He smiled as he started stroking his cock. Yeah, I said that word I hate. Cock. In my defense this was like porn shit. Live porn. Better Sammy porn. The stud of my dreams and fantasies was stroking his cock. Whatever, dudes get over it.
I started stroking mine. We faced each other as we stroked. His dick was a thick 7 inches' long piece or marble, straight and looked like it could hold up a 20lb weight. Where mine was big but not thick.
I knew I was about to blow. I was holding back. I didn't want to blow before him. I wanted to see him shoot. We both looked each other in the eyes as we stroked our poles. Both glancing down at the other every so often.
I was soon rewarded, ten times over. He threw his head back and moaned. I watched as the thick ropes of his cream pumped out. One of his loads hitting my abs.
That made me shoot my wad. Mine shot across too. Hitting him on his abs and legs. I had closed my eyes and when I opened them I swear I saw him lick the cum off of his hand. His or mine who cared it was hot.
We quickly rinsed ourselves off, dried and got dressed. We had fifteen minutes until homeroom. I of all people being the principal's grandson can't be late.
The one thing TJ did say to me was that because of who we were, we got less slack than others. I believed him. Fairy Godmother proved that. I'll get less slack than a normal student.
We walked out of the locker room with our bags slung over a shoulder.
"Now you know why I am almost always late to homeroom." Sam giggled.
I glanced over at him. He didn't seem the least bit embarrassed over what happened.
Not that much did happen. It was though the closest I have ever come to having a sexual experience with a boy. So, to me something happened.
"I just said yeah. But you won't be late today"
"Nope. That was hot as fuck. I got off fast." He said as we approached the front and the throngs of clicks and their groupies.
I didn't hang out front with Sam as he greeted his jock buddies. I wasn't in that click or any click. Unless you call the one-man loser, a click.
I was walking on clouds the whole day. I don't remember much.
I remember turning in my homework and Fairy Godmother looking at it and grading without even look at the others. She handed it back to all checked right except the essay.
On the side in red it said 'you are making assumptions without knowing. You may have read the book, but others haven't' I thought to myself 'Am I assuming you're a total fucking cunt.'
Art class I did some modern art thing for Miss. Moss. No big deal.
The rest of my classes were a blur. Lunch was somewhat fun. Except for Pork's stupid comments. I pretty much just ignored them as did most people. I think TJ was annoyed though. I don't know if it was with me or Pork.
Either way I didn't care. I jerked of with the hottest guy in school today.
Gym class was just another day. It was more exorcises. Then basketball. Which I have to admit I sucked at. I was geek bad I just wasn't good. Pork had it his mission to keep body slamming me. I was glad when we were told to hit the showers.
Sam had football practice, so he couldn't give me a ride home. Grandma didn't leave school until 5 on most nights. Not to mention I had to get home because Mary had her own family. Not to mention Grandpa alone was not a good thing.
I ran down the whole way home. Power line and trail. The whole way. I came out of the trail behind grandpa's work shop. He was tinkering away.
"Hi Gramps." I said giving him a hug from behind as he glued a leg to chair. What can I say I was happy? I jerked off with a boy that wet dreams are made of this morning. I was on cloud twenty. Fuck cloud nine that was normal people.
"Hold on Noah, one more minute." he said.
Grandpa was having a good day. That's great. I was beginning to really adore this man. He was simple but at that same time so sweet, and lovable, he didn't have a mean bone in his body.
Grandpa let go of the chair leg. When it stayed there, he turned around and smiled and gave me the biggest hug. It felt so great to be hugged, I was on cloud 21. I want to hit cloud 25. He looked at his watch.
"Jared, why aren't you at football practice? What did you and Marc do now?"
So much for it being a good day. At least it wasn't a really bad day for Grandpa. My heart was breaking though, he forgot about me. I choked it up though. It wasn't Grandpa's fault. I thought about though, I needed to correct him.
"I am Noah, Grandpa. Emily's son. Uncle Jared adopted me, so now I am his son." I said looking for some recognition of what I just said.
He looked confused for a few seconds. Then all of the sudden his face lit up.
"Yes, of course Noah. I know that. How was your day at school? Make any new friends?"
"I love you Grandpa."
"I love you too Noah. I am sorry that I forget things."
"It's OK Grandpa. I don't care that you forget things or have accidents I am just happy you're my Grandpa."
Grandpa put his arm over my shoulder and we walked towards the house. It was Hallmark moment. Grandpa and grandson. I felt at peace.
As we walked up to the house I could see Mary sitting on the deck watching us. By the time we made it to the deck she was standing. I know she is watching me Noah. Your grandma tells me she is the house keeper, but I know." Grandpa said to me while were still out of ear shot of Mary.
I stopped and looked at Grandpa I was sad. it must have shown. He was a proud man. It amazed me that in two weeks I knew so much about my family. What amazed me more was though that I cared.
"It's OK. I know what's happening. I want you to do something for me though."
"What's that Grandpa?"
"Help me look it up on that intrameet thing sometime. So I know."
"Sure grandpa." I knew he meant internet but why push him or make him feel bad, right. This man for some reason made me feel so loved for the first time. Yeah he was losing his memories and all that happens with his illness, but like a child his love was pure.
Grandpa went into the house to get cleaned up. Which meant he parked himself in front of the TV. That wasn't an issue though. I would get him cleaned up before Grandma got home.
Mary filled me in on Grandpa's day. It wasn't anything abnormal for Grandpa. By that I mean he forgo0t shit but didn't forget his pants.
She had pulled chicken breasts out of the freezer at Grandma's request. They were with bones. I hate bones. It's a poor thing that most people wouldn't understand.
Yeah dude, I dumpster dived at Popeye's chicken. Not proud of it. But when you have no money and ain't eaten in two days tell me what you will do.
I par boiled the chicken then de-boned it. I found some rice, some soy sauce and honey. Broccoli in the freezer, awesome, dinner fixings, oriental style. The great part was that Grandma had a wok.
I checked on Gramps. All was good. I grabbed my bag and finished up my calculus. I heard the phone ringing and ran to get it.
I heard Gramps say. "Hold on TJ."
I picked up the phone in the kitchen.
"Noah you have Mr. Martin for calc., right?" TJ said in a hushed voice.
"Yeah, I do."
"Bro I don't understand this shit. Can you explain it to me?"
What the fuck TJ's calling me of all people. What's worse is how do you explain calc. over the phone.
"TJ. I can't explain it over the phone. Calc. is not like that."
"Be there in twenty, show me then." He said and hung up.
Calc. was easy for me. I had an intro last year. So, I knew the basic formula's.
While I waited for TJ. I started dinner. Grandma would be home soon 45 minutes to be exact. I boiled the broccoli and rice the chicken was par boiled so that part was a non.
By the time I had the wok out oiled and seasoned TJ was walking in the kitchen.
"You cook?" he asked. More of a shocked statement than a question.
"Ya, Grandma does enough at school. She doesn't need to come home and cook too.
"So, what are you making?"
"Chicken stir fry with rice."
"So. What's confusing you with calc.?"
"Every fucking thing. I am gonna fail bro. If I do Mom will breed a calf."
"Let's get to work then. Don't need your mom breeding again. I am sorry TJ I shouldn't have said that."
"I hear that. I know what she's like I live with her. I envy you living here. It's nice here."
Over the next hour I showed TJ the basic formulas for Calc. It's not that it is hard. It's just if you don't have the right mind set and it won't be simplified. It's impossible to learn if you can't simplify it. Apparently, I simplified it enough for TJ.
Grandma, unknown to us had come in and was standing at the kitchen door. I glanced up and saw her smiling. TJ saw me look up and turned and saw Grandma. He got up and gave her a hug.
I set my mind to the fact that TJ wasn't like a total jerk. He was just his mother's son. He was more intimidated by her than the rest. Poor TJ. I felt at the moment I could trust him at a distance.
"I miss you, Grandma." TJ whimpered. Was TJ crying? Did he just sniff and wipe away a tear?
Grandma gave TJ a big hug as she looked at me over his shoulder. I just smiled. A genuine smile. It told, I was cool with this. Everything was OK
I went off around the kitchen and did my stir fry. TJ sat at the table and finished his calc. homework.
My life was getting better. I had My grandparents, my uncle/dad, a cousin my age who seemed to like me, even though he didn't admit it. I also had a Sammy. A stud. My sex on legs, for friend. I could hope for more, but a friend is good.
By the time dinner was done. TJ was done his homework. Grandma said he could stay for dinner. Which he did. After calling his mother, he lied of course about exactly where he was. He promised to be home by 10.
Dinner, according to Grandma was perfect. Grandma's would say that even if it tasted like last week's garbage. The real compliment came from TJ.
"Noah, dude, that was better than anything I would have gotten at home. Dude you are nasty in the kitchen." TJ said.
Hehe. "I can throw down in the kitchen." I couldn't help blush. I am definitely not used to compliments. Especially from someone that looks like TJ. Wait that looks like TJ God help am I like attracted to my cousin?
TJ hung around. At 8 our time the phone rang. Grandma answered. She talked for a few minutes. I was like get off the phone, Dads gonna call. Grandma hands me the phone. "Your dad."
Dad, Oh God, she was talking to my dad. I can't believe it. All of the sudden, I felt the shy Noah creep in.
"Noah, how was your second day at school and your run with Sam. Did you make sure you showered before you went to homeroom?"
I wanted to tell him all about the shower with Sam. But TJ was there.
"All the above Dad. Guess what I was able to help TJ with his calc., don't tell his mom though." Kind of letting him know that I couldn't really talk.
We talked for a while I let him know I missed him and he the same. We joked kidded each other. We had the best father son relationship. Uncle to nephew, Father to son and best of all buddies. We could tell each other everything.
I let TJ have the last ten minutes of the conversation. He was all macho cool. I could tell though he was thrilled to talk with our uncle, well his uncle, my Dad now.
I walked with TJ to his Honda accord.
"It was cool talking to Uncle Jared, your dad I mean."
"Ya it was."
"Look I know we are cousins and all but um like we can be friends and all, but you know my mom. If I need help with calc. or something you can help right without you know?"
"I have no problem helping you if I can TJ. I won't let your mom know either."
"Cool um about school and all um."
"Don't worry TJ. I won't say anything. I promise."
We bumped fists then, to my surprise he gave me a bro hug.
I watched as he drove off. Yeah TJ isn't a complete ass wipe.