Eternity - 1. Chapter One

One After a long, tiring day at the construction site, Kyle Blackner walked through the front door of his second story apartment. Like most days, Kyle's plans included a quick dinner, a shower, and going straight to bed. While flipping through the days mail, he came across a letter with no return address. He looked closer at the neat curving letters on the envelope, trying to figure out who it could be from.

"Well, I guess I won't know until I open it," he mumbled aloud. After tearing the letter open and scanning through the contents once, Kyle quickly sat down in his over-stuffed arm chair, the letter falling forgotten from his fingers.

It couldn't be, this had to be some kind of joke, he thought. No way could that letter be from the man who had walked out of his life over two years ago. Taking a deep breath, Kyle bent over and picked the letter back up, reading the contents again, the words finally sinking in

Dear Kyle,

I know that I'm probably the last person that you expected to hear from. I know that you don't understand what happened two years ago and I want to explain. I'm going to be moving back to Ogden and I really want to see you. I want to sit down with you and explain why I left. I will understand if you don't want to see me, but please, at least let me explain.

Love
Jared

Kyle didn't know what to think as he finished the letter. Jared had walked out on him with absolutely no warning or explanation, why would he bother with an explanation now? Didn't he realize that it was too late? If he had come to him two years ago then they could have worked through whatever it was, but no, Kyle had come home from work to an empty apartment and another note.

~~~~~~

Flashback

After yet another long day at work, Kyle was looking forward to coming home to Jared. No matter how badly his day had gone, one kiss from the man he loved would wipe it all away and make Kyle forget about everything that plagued him. Walking into the apartment he shared with his lover, Kyle was surprised not to hear any music playing. Jared loved his stereo system and always had it going.

"Jared?" He called out, "I'm home, where are you?" When he didn't get an answer, he figured that Jared had simply went out to the grocery story or went out to pick something up for dinner. Walking into the bedroom, Kyle opened the closet door to get out a clean shirt when he was greeted with a major shock. Jared's side of the closet was empty. Once he discovered the empty closet, Kyle went frantically over to the dresser, only to find that Jared's drawers were empty as well. He hurried into the bathroom and found all of Jared's personal things gone.

Kyle walked numbly back to the living room, hoping to find something to explain why Jared and all of his belongings were gone. For the first time since he got home he noticed the envelope propped up on the little table inside the door. With trembling hands, Kyle slowly opened the envelope with his name scrawled across the front. Inside was a note with two words on it and a key. Jared's key to the apartment. Kyle looked again at the note and at the words written. Tears started flowing down his face as he read the two words that had destroyed him....

I'm Sorry

~~~~~~

Present

Kyle sat there in the over-stuffed chair, the memories nearly overwhelming him. He had thought that he had put Jared's leaving behind him, but he had been fooling himself. He felt the pain that he felt two years ago come over him again as he remembered finding the note. He had been in shock that Jared had left the way he had. He figured he must have done something to make Jared run off, but for the life of him he still didn't know what that was. Well screw it, he thought, anger beginning to build up inside him.

"If he wanted to explain he could have explained two years ago," he said to the empty room, anger showing in his deep voice. He got quickly up from his chair and made his way quickly to his room, stripping his clothes off as he went. His plans for the evening had just changed.

~~~~~~

Jared Maloney sat alone in the dingy little bar that he used to frequent with Kyle Blackner. He could hardly believe that he was back to the place that he had left two years ago. At the moment he was downing one beer after another, trying to gather his courage enough for the face to face meeting that he knew needed to take place. He didn't know how exactly he planned to get Kyle to listen to him, let alone how he could possibly explain why he left two years ago. How could he possibly explain that he had left two years ago because he was ashamed, not of his lover, but of himself.

Jared was just finishing off his seventh Bud Light when his attention was caught by a muscular man walking into the bar. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he gazed longingly at the face that had haunted his dreams for two years, Kyle Blackner. Of all the places he had thought he would run into Kyle, the bar was the last place he would have expected. He didn't know why, but he would have thought that Kyle wouldn't want anything to do with the places that they had went together. 'But he still lives in the apartment that you shared,' the niggling little voice in his head whispered.

Jared felt a pang of regret as he watched Kyle make his way over to the bar. How could he have ever thought for one minute that he could just walk away from the one man who had made him feel complete. He didn't have a clue as to what Kyle's reaction had been when he left, but if his own reaction was anything to go by, Kyle had been devastated.

When Jared had left town two years ago he had went to his sisters house in Denver. She was the only one in his family that knew the truth of who he was. He had listened for months about how stupid he was being, but he was determined not to admit that his sister was right. He had known when he left that he had to get as far from Ogden and Kyle as possible and the only place he knew he'd be welcome was at his sisters. He hadn't even told his friends where he was going since he knew that they'd tell Kyle. As it was, Kyle had called his sisters place a couple times a week for the first month to see if he's shown up. He had had to swear his sister to secrecy, and that wasn‘t an easy task to accomplish.

Jared sat nursing his eighth beer as he watched the man across the room. As though he was aware of being watched, Kyle turned around, his eyes scanning the small bar. Jared held his breath and didn't let it out until that sea-green gaze swept past where he was sitting in the shadows. The past couple of years must have been good to Kyle, at least physically. When they had been together, Kyle had been a solid wall of muscle, but now he was even more built. At six foot two inches, Kyle had the body that any sane man would die for. His jet back hair fell slightly around his face, accentuating the hard planes.

Jared continued to sit and watch the man that he had never stopped loving. There was a tense moment when he watched another man, about the same height and build as Kyle, walk over and sling an arm around his former lovers shoulders. Jared felt the pangs of jealousy take over as he watched Kyle smile and talk to the man. When he had walked away Jared let out a sigh of relief before mentally smacking himself. He had no right to be jealous, he gave that right up two years ago.

~~~~~~

Kyle sat nursing his beer and tried to shake the feeling that he was being watched. He had already looked around the bar, but nobody really seemed to be paying too much attention to him. He turned back to his beer and was surprised to suddenly feel an arm thrown over his shoulder. He turned to tell whoever it was to go away when he saw that it was his best friend Matt.

"Hey Buddy," Matt said. "What's going on? You looked pretty pensive when you walked in."

"Hey Matt, not much going on, just decided I needed a beer tonight and some good company. You here with your girl?"

"Don't you know it man. Look, I'd better get back to her, so you take care and I'll see you at the site tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow bud. You and Chelsea have a great night," Kyle said before Matt walked away. Matt was a good guy, in fact he had been there the most when Jared had left. Matt had told him that if Jared could just walk away that he wasn't worth wasting time and effort on, but Kyle wasn't able to buy it. He had loved Jared more than anything or anyone else, so he just couldn't agree with something as ridiculous as that.

Kyle still felt that feeling of being watched as he ordered another beer. He knew that he'd have to leave soon, but he wanted to have one more to try to clear his head. He kept glancing casually around the bar, hoping to figure out who was watching him when he noticed a guy sitting in the shadows. He wouldn't have give in another thought except the guys eyes were trained on him. Due to the shadows the man was sitting in, Kyle couldn't make out his features. Determined to find out what the guy found so interesting, Kyle got up from the bar and headed towards where the man was sitting.

~~~~~~

Jared watched Kyle walk towards him with a sense of dread. He knew that he needed to talk to him, but he simply wasn't ready to. He could see the look of determination on Kyle's face as he worked his way through the crowded room. He really didn't want this face to face meeting to take place in the bar, but he didn't have time to slip out the door. He knew the moment that Kyle was close enough to see his face because Kyle stopped dead in his tracks, a look of disbelief written all over his face.

"Hello Kyle," Jared said, slowly getting to his feet.

"So it really is you," Kyle said, as if only now believing what his eyes told him to be true, Jared was back. "What are you doing here Jared?"

"I had to come and see you. I had to come explain why I left."

"Don't you think it's a little bit late for explanations!" Kyle said harshly. "If you wanted so bad to explain then why wait two years to contact me? You left me Jared, not the other way around. You knew where I was and could have called me anytime, but you didn't."

"Kyle, please, I know I was wrong to leave like I did. I have never regretted anything more in my life, but please, let me explain."

"No Jared, I'm not going to sit here and listen while you try to justify what you did. If you had wanted out that badly then all you had to do is say so. Just go away Jared, I don't have anything else to say to you," Kyle said before shouldering his way through the crowd that had accumulated.

"Kyle, please," Jared hollered after him. "I didn't want to go, but I didn't have a choice."

Kyle stopped at the door to turn again and face Jared. "There's always a choice Jared and you made yours, now deal with it," he said before walking out the door.

~~~~~~

Kyle heard someone calling his name as he walked out into the dark night. Afraid that it might be Jared, Kyle didn't stop until he reached his Harley. He was just starting it up when he felt the hand close over his shoulder. When he tried shrugging it off it's grip got tighter. Kyle twisted his head around ready to tell Jared to leave him the hell alone when he looked into Matt and Chelsea's concerned gazes. Kyle had been fighting tears from the minute he realized Jared was back, but he couldn't fight them anymore. He felt the tears start down his face as Matt wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug.

"I'm sorry Kyle, I didn't see him in there or I would have warned you," Matt said quietly.

"I knew he was coming back," Kyle whispered, "I just didn't know exactly when. He wants to talk to me, says he wants to explain why he picked up and left."

"Wait a minute, you knew he was coming back?" Matt asked, pulling back to look at his face. "When did you find out Kyle?"

"When I got home from work tonight there was a letter. Kind of ironic ain't it Matt? He walked out of my life with only a note and then walked back into it the same damn way."

"Kyle, why didn't you tell me all of this when I talked to you at the bar?"

"I don't know Matt, I guess on some level I didn't believe that he was really coming back. I mean, what does he want from me?"

"He simply wants to let you know why he left," a voice said from behind Kyle.

Kyle's gaze quickly settled on Jared's face, surprised that Jared had actually had the nerve to follow him. When Jared reached up to wipe the tears from Kyle's face, Kyle grabbed his wrist to stop him. "Don't Jared, don't touch me," he said, putting as much anger into his voice as possible.

"Look asshole," Matt said, stepping between Kyle and Jared. "He doesn't want to talk to you, haven't you hurt him enough? Just go away Jared!"

"Look Matt, this is between Kyle and myself, so why don't you just butt out."

Matt opened his mouth to let out a scathing retort but Kyle beat him to it when he said, "Don't talk to my friends like that Jared. Matt was the one who has been there for me since you decided to just up and leave. Matt is the one who was there when I needed someone to talk to. Just leave me alone Jared, I won't say it again."

~~~~~~

Jared, Matt, and Chelsea could do nothing but watch as Kyle tore out of the parking lot, tires squealing. Matt started to walk away with Chelsea before he turned back around and walked up to Jared. Once he was standing in front of him, Matt pulled back his fist and then let it fly, hitting Jared straight in the face. The impact of Matt's fist sent Jared to the ground. On his way down Jared's head hit the small barricade that marks the end of the parking stall, he was lucky that he didn't pass out, however he was in a slight daze for a moment.

When Jared became completely aware again all he could see was Matt and Chelsea standing in front of him. He didn't know how long he had basically spaced out and he didn't really care. He continued to lay on the ground for a moment and then slowly made his way to his feet, stumbling a bit as he regained his footing.

"Stay the hell away from him," Matt said, his fists clenched at his sides. "I've wanted to knock your lights out since you walked out on him, but if you hurt him again you won't need a doctor because you'll be in the morgue." With that last part said, Matt turned around and left, leaving Jared standing shakily in the parking lot, blood flowing from his nose and mouth.

Jared staggered back into the bar, knowing that he needed to get some ice to put on his face. He wouldn't be in the least surprised to find out his nose was broken. Jared knew that he was going to have to go into the Emergency Room but he didn't know quite how he would make it on his own. He had taken a first aid class during his three years with Kyle and he knew that a blow to the head could result in a concussion. He didn't really have anyone that he could call to come and get him and take him to the hospital. Praying that he wouldn't hang up on him, Jared picked up the payphone and called the only person that may take him, Kyle. After two rings he heard someone pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Kyle, it's Jared, please don't hang up on me."

"I thought I told you to leave me alone Jared, you didn't have any problem doing that two years ago."

"I know, and I wouldn't call you but I didn't have any choice, I'm in no condition to drive."

"Got that drunk did you?"

"No, I didn't get that drunk, but I got knocked on my ass and hit my head on a barricade. I need to get to the hospital but I need someone to take me."

"You're still at the bar?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, I'll be there in five minutes, but don't expect anything from me Jared."

"I won't, and thanks Kyle."

~~~~~~

When Kyle had picked up the phone and heard Jared's voice it took all his will power not to just sit down and cry his eyes out. When Jared had told him that he was was hurt he didn't know what to think. He wanted to be angry, but he could never stay mad at Jared, plus there was this little problem of his heart stopping for a minute whenever he heard Jared's voice. Grabbing his keys he ran out the door and jumped on his Harley, he wished he had a car because he didn't know how he was going to get Jared to the hospital on this thing. Pulling up in front of the bar, Kyle parked the big black Harley and headed inside. He had to stop himself from running to make sure Jared was okay since he didn't want Jared to know how much he still cared.

Stepping through the doors into the semi-darkness of the bar he spotted Jared immediately. Jared was slouched down in one of the few booths that could be found in the bar. His eyes were closed and Kyle prayed that he was just tired and that he wasn't passed out. Kyle made his way quickly through the crowd of people gathered and breathed a sigh of relief as Jared's eyes opened as he walked up to the table.

"Jared? You okay?"

"I don't know Kyle, I really don't know, I'm just so tired, why am I so tired?"

"I don't know babe," Kyle said, the endearment slipping out. "C'mon, let's get you up and get you to the hospital."

As Kyle led Jared slowly out of the bar he knew that there was no way that Kyle would be able to stay on the Harley for the trip to the hospital. The only thing he could possibly think of was Jared's car. Surely Jared had his car with him and they could just take that.

"Jared? Where's the keys to your car, we need to take it, all I have is my Harley."

Kyle watched as Jared tried to dig his keys out of his pocket, when he couldn't even really maneuver his hand into his pocket, Kyle dug the keys out himself. He was relieved to see that Jared still had the same blazer that he had when they were together, otherwise he didn't know how he would have found out which car was his. Kyle got Jared buckled in and quickly moved around to the drivers side. Normally it was about a twenty minute trip to the nearest hospital, Kyle made it in under fifteen.

After the doctors had taken Jared back to be examined, Kyle sank into one of the chairs in the waiting room and put his face in his hands. He didn't want to be worried about what had happened to Jared, but if he ever found out who hurt him he'd most definitely take care of it. Kyle didn't know how long he'd been sitting there before the doctor came back out and told him that he was keeping Jared for observation.

"What do you mean you're keeping him for observation, is it really that serious?"

"Well, other than the broken nose it really isn't. However, Mr. Maloney has told us that he lives alone and that there is no one to come and stay with him."

"What do you mean someone to come and stay with him?"

"When Mr. Maloney fell he apparently hit his head against one of the small yellow barricades that are found at the front of the parking stall. Now he remembers the incident very clearly, but we're still afraid that he may have a minor concussion. When there's the possibility of concussion the patient needs to be under constant supervision for 24 hours."

"So the whole reason that you have to keep him is to make sure he doesn't have a concussion?"

"Yeah, for the most part. The emergency room has been fairly busy tonight, but since Mr. Maloney lives alone we have no other option than to keep him here for the 24 hours of observation."

"You do have another choice," Kyle whispered.

"What was that?"

"You do have another choice, he can go home with me."

"Well, that would certainly work if Mr. Maloney would agree to it. Why don't you come on back with me and we'll see if he'll agree to being released into your supervision."

Kyle followed the doctor back into the examining room where Jared was lying in a hospital gown. His heart ached as he looked at Jared lying there. He could see the look of pain enter into Jared's eyes when he walked into the room. Kyle hadn't been able to believe that he'd offered to take Jared home with him, but standing there looking at him he knew why he did it. No matter what Jared had done to him, Kyle still loved him. If he was honest with himself, he had never really stopped loving him.

"How we feeling Mr. Maloney?" The doctor asked as he walked into the room.

"Like I got decked in the face," Jared responded. "How soon will I be able to go home?"

"Well, that all depends. I was out in the waiting room talking to this gentleman," he said, gesturing towards Kyle, "and you have two choices. First choice is that we can keep you here for the 24 observation period. Your second choice is you can be released into his care."

~~~~~~

Jared couldn't help being stunned when the doctor told him he could be released into Kyle's care. Jared didn't know how that had happened, but he wasn't going to complain. Jared knew what he wanted to do, but before he did it he wanted to make sure that it was really okay with Kyle. He knew that Kyle just wanted to be left alone and he really hadn't expected this to happen.

"Doctor, before I make my decision, can I talk to Kyle alone for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure, take your time and have the nurses page me when you're ready."

Jared watched as the doctor left the room before turning his gaze back to Kyle. He didn't know exactly how to go about this without sounding completely ungrateful. He was just having a hard time believing that Kyle would be willing to take him in for the next 24 hours.

"Why Kyle?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you offer to let me stay with you? I know you don't want to be around me, yet here you are, why?"

"Jared, we once had something very special," Kyle said, walking over to the window and looking out. "All I can tell you for sure is that I can't stand seeing you hurt."

"Kyle, before I give the doctor an answer I need to know, do you really not mind me staying with you?"

"Jared, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it. It's up to you, you can either spend the next 24 hours here in the hospital or you can spend them with me, your call. If you decide you're coming home with me I'll be out in the waiting room," Kyle said, turning to walk back out the door.

"Kyle, wait! I want to go home with you, I just didn't want to push you."

"Jared, you have to be under someone's care and I'm not going to leave you here in the hospital. So it's settled then, your going to come home with me. Don't take any of this the wrong way though, things aren't back to normal with us."

"I understand Kyle, would you page the doctor for me?"

"Yeah, I will and then I'm going to wait in the waiting room, just come out when you're ready or have someone come and get me."

Jared sensed that something was different as he watched Kyle walk out of the hospital room. Maybe it was just him, but there seemed to be a sort of softening between them, he only hoped that it lasted a little while, at least long enough for Jared to explain what had happened.