Jump to content
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Line of Sight - 1. Chapter 1

Writing Prompt #75: (First Line) "Please," he begged. "Can I have this one?"

"Please," he begged. "Can I have this one?"

I inwardly cursed as I looked at the squirming puppy my six year old son held carefully in his mittened hands. I wanted so bad to tell him no, we weren’t getting a dog, but I knew it would break his heart. I wouldn’t even be in this position if it hadn’t been for my damn ex promising him a puppy. Only Dave had neglected to mention that he wouldn’t be around to help care for the little critter.

As it was, I had managed to put this exact scenario off for nearly two months, but then my luck had run out. Of all days I had to pick today to go grocery shopping , but hell, how was I supposed to know that someone would have a litter of pups they needed to get rid of and had chosen the grocery store parking lot as their pet store?

“I don’t know, Jake. A puppy is a lot of responsibility.” I knew I was going to lose this battle, especially when Jake looked up with those bright blue eyes.

“I’ll take care of him Daddy. I will. I promise.” He cuddled the puppy closer to his chest and smiled up at me. “I’ll feed him, and play with him, and he can sleep on my bed.”

I knew I’d lost. I might not have been the one who made the promise, but it looked like I was the one who was going to have to keep it. I really wasn’t looking forward to housebreaking a puppy in the middle of winter.

“Are you sure that’s the one you want?” I knew it was a long shot, but I could hope he would say no. “You can’t change your mind when you get home with him.”

“I’m sure!” He squeezed the squirming armful of brown fluff tighter. The sound of whimpering made me reach over and rescue the puppy from my over-enthusiastic son. I lifted the pup in the air and once again cursed inwardly when I saw it was a male. Not only would I have to worry about housebreaking, but I also had him marking his territory to look forward to. I looked into his face and sighed. He was cute; I had to admit that. I cuddled him close to my chest and crouched down so I was eye level with my son.

“If these nice people will agree to hold him for us while we go get a few groceries then you can get him.” We wouldn’t be able to do our full grocery shop, but we could at least get a few of the necessities that we needed.

I watched Jake turn to face the lady sitting in a lawn chair and bit back the smirk as she crumbled in the face of his pleading blue eyes. She smiled and nodded and without saying anything my son ran up to her and hugged her. I knew that was something I was going to have to really watch with him; he was a very sociable little boy and had no hesitation when it came to strangers.

I walked a fine line between making him afraid of everyone and keeping him wary. I didn’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to him. He was my life and I would do everything in my power to keep him safe. Maybe if I was lucky the puppy would grow up and be not only a friend, but a protector and an ally in keeping Jake safe. I set the bundle of fur down among his litter mates and stood to take my son’s hand in mine and lead him into the store.

“Maybe I should stay with the puppy, Daddy.” He stopped and looked longingly at the doors leading outside.

“We’ll hurry, I promise.”

His little mouth turned down in a frown but he reached out and grasped the cart like he was supposed to and after one last look at the doors he started moving.

“You know, you’re going to have to think of a name for him.” Maybe if I could get him talking it would stop the looks towards the door. I doubted it, but figured it was worth a shot.

“Oh, I don’t have to think about it Daddy. I’m going to name him Murray.”

I looked at Jake in surprise, wondering how he’d come up with that. I had expected a name from one of the cartoons he watched constantly, not something that sounded surprisingly adult.

“Why Murray?”

“Because, that’s the name of the doggy in the story that Dave used to tell me before I went to bed.”

I cringed at the mention of my ex. After the whole experience of Dave walking away from us, I knew that in the future I would be a lot more cautious in who I brought into our lives. I’d thought Dave was in it for the long haul. Being wrong had never hurt so bad. I glanced at the blonde head walking alongside the cart. I wasn’t the only one who had lost something, and while I knew how bad it had affected me, I could only guess how it was affecting Jake. He had become fairly withdrawn since Dave left and he’d been more animated with the puppy in his arms than I’d seen him in nearly two months.

I wasn’t looking forward to going through the next few months, but Jake was more than worth it.

Hope you enjoyed this Saturday Short!!! I know it was short, but please leave a review or join the discussion in my forum!
Copyright © 2014 Renee Stevens; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 45
  • Love 4
  • Sad 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

Great start!

 

Will this be a series of Sunday updates around this length? It would be nice if we got more but some transparency in format would be great.

 

I'm looking forward to your developing of the characters. We got a small glimpse of them in this chapter and I'm sure there is more to learn soon.

Link to comment

Puppy dog eyes of the bright blue variety. By the sounds it the experiment did some damage when he left so the puppy will probably initially antagonize then benefit both father and son.

Lol just hope the dog doesn't turn out to be a mastiff or a great dane.

Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 10:04 AM, Rebelghost85 said:
Great start!

 

Will this be a series of Sunday updates around this length? It would be nice if we got more but some transparency in format would be great.

 

I'm looking forward to your developing of the characters. We got a small glimpse of them in this chapter and I'm sure there is more to learn soon.

Thank you for the review Rebelghost. This will be a series of Saturday updates of approximately this same length. I'm hoping that doing a collection of flash fiction chapters (under 1K) will help break through the blocks that I have faced with some of my other stories. We will learn much much more about the characters before the story is complete!
Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 10:04 AM, Daithi said:
Puppy dog eyes of the bright blue variety. By the sounds it the experiment did some damage when he left so the puppy will probably initially antagonize then benefit both father and son.

Lol just hope the dog doesn't turn out to be a mastiff or a great dane.

Thank you for the review Daithi! You will be learning more about the puppy in the upcoming chapters as well as more about the ex and the other characters.
Link to comment

Great start Renee! I'm interested in the main character already and look forward to seeing what the future holds for him and his son...and the puppy.

Link to comment

This is a good start Renee, and I think you do first person POV very well, as you do third person very well too. Great description/inner voice and cute son!

Link to comment

I like it. The title is intriguing, little boy, puppy, adorable. It's easy to get attached

to this story.

Link to comment

Love the new story Renee! No one can resist a little boy OR a puppy! lol

 

I'm looking forward to reading more. :)

Link to comment

I told myself I was not going to start reading anything new, but had to take a peek at this, and now I am totally hooked. Great start girl and looking forward to enjoying this journey. Thanks for sharing :2thumbs:

Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 11:23 AM, Percy said:
Great start Renee! I'm interested in the main character already and look forward to seeing what the future holds for him and his son...and the puppy.
Thank you Percy! The great thing is since these are very short chapters they are actually a lot more fun to write and I don't end up discouraged. And don't worry, this weeks Saturday short is already done and ready to go up on Saturday, so hope you enjoy it as well!
Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 12:38 PM, Luc Rosen said:
This is a good start Renee, and I think you do first person POV very well, as you do third person very well too. Great description/inner voice and cute son!
Thank you Fishie! I'm actually having a lot of fun with this and while I normally tend to write in third, I do occasionally slip into first. One thing I have found is that when I start to write a story I just see how it comes and whichever POV it comes out in naturally, that's the one I go with. Otherwise it tends to feel forced. Glad you are enjoying it and I hope to hear from you after the next installment!
Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 12:52 PM, Stephen said:
I like it. The title is intriguing, little boy, puppy, adorable. It's easy to get attached

to this story.

Thanks Stephen! How could I go wrong with a puppy and a little boy?? Well, there are many ways, but hopefully I don't go any of those! As for the title, I always have a hard time coming up with titles, but by the time all is said and done, the title will completely make sense!
Link to comment
On 04/21/2013 02:42 PM, Lisa said:
Love the new story Renee! No one can resist a little boy OR a puppy! lol

 

I'm looking forward to reading more. :)

Thanks Lisa! I'm glad that you are enjoying this little story so far. I'm having a lot of fun writing it and hopefully you'll enjoy the next installment just as much!
Link to comment
On 04/24/2013 08:22 AM, joann414 said:
I told myself I was not going to start reading anything new, but had to take a peek at this, and now I am totally hooked. Great start girl and looking forward to enjoying this journey. Thanks for sharing :2thumbs:
Thank you Jo Ann!! Glad that you went against what you were telling yourself and decided to take a look at it! Hopefully you continue to enjoy it and with these chapters being "flash" pieces, I will be able to post once a week much easier!
Link to comment
On 04/29/2013 08:01 PM, Michael9344 said:
I like it alright. I'm hooked. Looking forward to the next one?:)
Thank you Michael! Glad you are enjoying it and aren't you happy the next chapter was already up, so no waiting for it :D
Link to comment

I know I´ve read the beginning a long time ago, but I need to start again and this time all the way till the end.

Link to comment
On 12/02/2014 12:43 AM, Suvitar said:
I know I´ve read the beginning a long time ago, but I need to start again and this time all the way till the end.
Thanks for the review Suvitar! Hope you enjoy the story from here to the end!
Link to comment

Great start Renee! The opening, with the puppy was sweet.
I really loved the way you kept the ex a friend.
Looking forward to reading the rest... I'll keep you posted.
Lenny

Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..