34. 6'2" 195. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Clean shaven. Athletic. Well-educated. Independent. !!! RESPECT !!! Indifference and rudeness are two of the worst weapons for hurting a person’s feelings. If, for whatever reason, you don’t match with someone, tell them kindly instead of ignoring them or sending hurtful comments. It is so easy to be kind to each other.
From Jeremy: Very cute.
From Alan: What?
From Jeremy: You.
From Alan: How can you tell?
From Jeremy: Your description.
From Alan: Here’s help: a photo.
From Jeremy: Cuter.
From Alan: I don’t know if you’re talking about my jacket and tie or my lack of explanations. But you’re a good-looking man, and seemingly polite, so I hope you’re getting to play with the kind of men you like to. And I use to have 100% active in my description until I realized that, no matter how inert your partner, sex is still largely shared.
From Jeremy: I could not agree with you more I’m not 100% anything except comfortable in my skin. I am all things with a partner as chemistry dictates proclivities. Thank you for saying that I’m nice because you’re quite accurate. You are very cute. And I’m actually hoping that we continue chatting
From Alan: Ah, so your compliment wasn’t connected to my clothes. That’s good because I was getting ready to change the picture I very occasionally send to interested guys. I change it annually, to keep myself honest, and I was thinking of not wearing a jacket and tie this year. And, yeah, I’ll write back to you as long as you’re interested. But, as you probably know, guys on this site get distracted by even the vaguest possibility of sex, so conversations are short. And you need to remember I’m married – sometimes another bucket of ice water. Of course, some guys like the ice.
From Jeremy: I think I would enjoy it very much if you would treat me as an individual and not lump me in 2 the vacuous and inane masses. I am a nice normal guy and my photos are never more than 30 days old. PS, I like the type very much I am certain that you would look great in a bow tie if you’re looking for a way to change it up. And did you mean that you’re married in the sense that sex is completely off the table?
From Alan: My granddad used to wear bow ties, and I think I still have one of his around. I’ll consider it for my next photo, though I was thinking a sweater. And from your pictures, you seem to have quite a wardrobe. Where do you wear it in Iowa? And, no, sex isn’t completely off the table.
From Jeremy: outstanding. Yes I do have a very large collection of suits and formal wear. I very much enjoy wearing them 4 physical encounters. If you would like I’ll be happy to show you some. Are there any photos you like more than another?
From Alan: I like the one where I got to see your face without the sunglasses. You’re a handsome man. The well-dressed goes without being said. But, no matter what you were wearing, I could always gently remove your sunglasses. And, now, I’ve got to get back to work. I’m mainly on here for a couple of minutes late in the evening, so we may just be crossing messages. But I’ll be looking for you.
From Jeremy: I’ll be happy to switch to an app that’s more convenient for you. And let me try to find another picture without sunglasses. And thank you for saying that I’m handsome, it’s much appreciated.
From Alan: This is actually the site I’m most comfortable sending messages from and receiving them. It assures me that I have no stray e-mail around for anyone in my family to stumble across, though we’re fairly good at sticking to our own computers. I’m pretty inactive sexually outside my marriage, but, as I said, it’s not completely out of consideration. Sex is great fun, but it’s a few steps under marriage. And the latest picture of you is great. Photos of good-looking guys smiling always make me smile. Also, this new photo’s primarily for you. Even if nothing happens from here, you’ve had an effect on my life for a year.
From Jeremy: I hope to have an effect on your life for many years... I truly want to meet you. AND.. thank you for the bowtie photo.. If there is another option for chatting I am open to it.. Yahoo messenger, skype, or cell texting is GREAT.
From Alan: Unfortunately, as I mentioned, married guys have limited options. Not bad ones, just sometimes limited. So I’ve got to hold to this site for conversations. As for meeting, that would be fine. When’s good for you and where?
From Jeremy: I’m my own boss and can come to you.. Just tell me the date place and time.
From Alan: Nice to be your own boss. Let’s pick a Starbucks halfway between us. You know where I am, but I only know you’re in Iowa.
From Jeremy: I think that sounds fine except Starbucks is a bit pedestrian and cliche for me.
From Alan: Then pick a place you’d be comfortable, and tell me where. Next Monday evening might work, but Thursday would be better. You seem to have far more flexibility than I do.
From Jeremy: Great. Thursday it is. I look forward to it. How about Iowa City?
From Alan: Unfortunately, Iowa City is a pain for me to get to. If that’s halfway between where you and I live, we may rarely see each other. I was hoping you lived in town
From Jeremy: I will meet you in Cedar Rapids. No problem. And you don’t have to keep putting hurdles in the way for me. I find in my life anything I really want to do is no hassle at all for me. & I think most people are the same. If I’m excited about doing it it’s not an issue
From Alan: I don’t mean for them to be hurdles. I hate wasting other people’s time, and – to be honest – I haven’t been seeing other guys for several years now, partly for that reason. Also, I don’t have a lot of untracked time, and the rule is: if I’m not in the wrong place at the wrong time, I’m OK. But all is would take is something as simple as a flat tire, and I’m divorced. You’re sophisticated enough to understand that. Now where do you want to meet? I can get there by 3:30.
From Jeremy: How on earth can you enjoy being in that kind of relationship?
From Alan: I happen to like being married, and I love my family. It’s a shared life. I spend enough time working, fortunately happily, and it’s good to have a place to come home to, with people I love. So I’m kind of sentimental about that. But I’m not sentimental about sex, and I developed some skills before my marriage that I don’t get a chance to use. For a while, I began to think they were never there. Then I was reminded they were, and after that, I began carefully sleeping around. And you’re an interesting guy, and I’d like to meet you and – among other things – find out how you managed to be your own boss at your age. You must be doing well to support that wardrobe. But if I’m going to make you crazy with my limits, let it go. There are more interesting guys, your age, who I’m sure want to meet you. Relax with them. Also, I woke up this morning thinking, "This is why I mainly have sex with married guys. They understand the limits immediately, and I don’t have to explain." But I’m only going to seem like a jerk to you.
From Jeremy: I don’t understand why you’re putting all this pressure on me to not meet you and or something with you. I understand all of you said about yourself but please don’t think for me. I have no explanations 4 why I do what I do but I think I like you. In other words. Don’t dismiss me because you perceive I may or may not etc...
From Alan: I like you, too, but I’m behaving like a jerk, and I’d like to stop that. I’m not a kid. I’m not even your age anymore. I’m a nearly 47-year-old man with a great marriage and family that he’s stupidly endangering because of a good-looking guy in a spiffy jacket and sunglasses.
From Jeremy: Do you want me to leave you alone?? But I will tell you that I like nearly 47 yr old men in bow tie. And if you choose to move on , that’s fine. But it is NOT because I chose for you to go. And... they are not always sun glasses
From Alan: No, I don’t want you to leave me alone. I’d like to see if we can ease this toward a friendship. I think you’re an interesting guy, and that quality is sometimes hard to find. And I really do want to know how you got to be your own boss. And you do know how dazzling you look in that latest photo.
From Jeremy: Thank you.. VERY much... I am more interesting that you could imagine: I promise you. And this quality is not easy to find.. I look forward to meeting you.
From Alan: I just discovered I’m only scheduled working a half-day this Friday. So if it’s better to meet you in Iowa City, I should be able to be there by 1:30. But Thursday around 6:30's still free. Just pick a place in Cedar Rapids.
From Jeremy: Daniel Arthur’s.
From Alan: Got it. Thursday at 6:30 or Friday at 1:30?
From Jeremy: You do realize that when you meet me you are going to want me in your life. ... Thursday 6:30
From Alan: One thing at a time. See you Thursday. I’ll check in here just before I leave.
From Jeremy: What does one thing at a time mean?
From Alan: Well, you’re saying “You are going to want me in my life,” and I’m saying, “Let’s see what happens when we meet.” You may not want me in your life.
From Jeremy: I think I was making a lighthearted comment, designed to be a fun way of saying that I am hopeful for the future. It was truly nothing more.
From Alan: Got it. And my afternoon meetings just got cancelled for tomorrow – Thursday – so I could make it to the restaurant between 2 and 3. That would be better for me if it fits your schedule. Let me know. I’ll be back on here by late evening.
From Jeremy: We can reschedule for a different day.
From Alan: Tomorrow’s fine. And next month gets really busy. I just wondered if you’d be free at 2 rather than at 6:30.
From Jeremy: The issue for me is the matter of fact way that you told me that it would be better for you to change my day to accommodate the change in your day. And. . F.y.i you did not wonder if I’ll be free at 2 you said it would be better for you. This does not work for me. When I make a time with somebody I value and respect that commitment and I don’t want to be in the awkward position to say no 630 works for me let’s stick to it and you’ve already made up your mind you don’t want to do 630 now. So I think we’re going to go our separate ways here. Take care of yourself
From Alan: In my first message, right after I found out I had tomorrow afternoon free, I said “between 2 and 3 would be better for me if it fits your schedule.” In my second message, I said, “Tomorrow’s fine. I just wondered if you’d be free at 2 rather than 6:30.” All you had to do is say, “No, 6:30's better for me,” and I wouldn’t have had any problem with that. I still don’t. Earlier on, you said your schedule was pretty flexible, and I knew you were driving out of your way, so I was offering you some options. That’s all. Because of the nature of my work, I have to be endlessly flexible, and I try to pass my sudden and unexpected free time onto people I’m making plans with. I rescheduled a meeting that suddenly came up for tomorrow night because I knew I was seeing you. And I offered you Friday as an alternative as soon as I knew that was free, and before I scheduled anything else. Jeez, Jer, I hate explaining shit, and that’s what I’m overly doing now. I’m really sorry. In any case, I’m going to bed now. I start early tomorrow. You’re a funny man. I love that. I’ll check in when I finish work tomorrow at 12:30.
From Jeremy: Alan - I’m sorry but I am not going to be available today... And.. You were not over explaining, in fact I would have preferred it. Being my own boss, I do have a very flexible schedule but I think that even the most flexible schedule is not built for all the balls you have in the air.. Sorry you rescheduled your meeting tonight. Take care of yourself.
From Alan: Yep, as I was afraid of, I turned myself into a jerk. But thanks for the conversation. Take care, kid.
From Jeremy: How do you mean, you turned yourself into a jerk??
From Alan: Over explaining. And have fun with your real life, Jer – playing with available guys. I’ll miss writing you.
From Jeremy: My name is Jeremy, and the martyr thing is unattractive... If you are looking for a reason here, please focus on the one most glaring.. You seem to put unnecessary hurdles in your way.. You have put a bunch of effort in our way and asked me to move toward a “real life” several times... I don’t think I understand why you would want to sabotage me.. Life has bumped you into a standout among standouts.. I am scratching my head..
From Alan: Martyr? I love how we’re misreading each other. And I’ve worked with many standouts among standouts in my field. I know how to appreciate them, and how I fit into their lives. And it’s a pretty big field, and I’ve happily worked in several of its facets over 25 years, and I hope to go on to more. Still, I’ll miss meeting you and learning how you stand out.
From Jeremy: I guess I knew that would be the response.. both our losses I’m afraid.
From Alan: Nah, we had Paris.
From Jeremy: Lol.. we didn’t even have Perris..
From Alan: Google tells me Perris is a city in Riverside County, California. As in: Man sitting in car in Perris is stabbed, car is stolen and crashed. I didn’t know any of that.
From Jeremy: Yes it’s pronounced Paris but oh what a difference an E makes.. The violence you describe does not surprise me it happens every 5 minutes there in the 909
From Alan: I’m afraid I know nothing else about Riverside County. Though now that I think about it, a friend of mine’s husband was born and raised there. My friend said it’s a long bus ride from there to LA, and – without asking – I knew why she hadn’t rented a car. Driving in California scared her. I’m also afraid to ask how you know so much about the 909 area code area. It doesn’t seem to fit with the Stanford baseball cap and the Giants’ team shirt in your pictures. Probably because you’re just well-read.
From Jeremy: I own a home in Palo Alto and I lived in California for 15 years. I prefer Iowa where I was grew up. But I know everything about the 909 because every pore white trash person I’ve met was spawned there. And I went to Stanford and I love San Francisco.
From Alan: I was pretty sure you went to Stanford. You don’t seem like the kind of person who’d wear one of its baseball caps lightly. And people who were just attracted to the cap probably wouldn’t know to follow it up with the Giants shirt – unless they were pretending to be something they weren’t, which you never seemed to be. And now I have an image of you all duded up, having sex with one of those pore white trash guys.
From Jeremy: I would rather cut my dick off with a rusty spoon then have sex with a white trash person. Enough time in my head and in San Francisco and I am forever attracted to well cut business suits. The men I’m attracted to wear Brooks Brothers. And then in full leather at night. Tom of Finland does nothing for me. I like a sophisticated educated well heeled leather uniform type. Not any of the nonsense one may find in a falcon video
From Alan: Yeah, I can see that for you. Unfortunately, I just liked to get guys out of their clothes and see what was left – and I don’t mean the muscles. And there were always surprises – and I don’t mean the body parts. Imagination. The ability to relax. Sometimes brilliant, handsome guys couldn’t do that.
From Jeremy: Do you remember when I told you that you put hurdles in your way.. Why on earth would you go on and on about you like to take out of there clothes and more than their muscles etc blah blah blah. Do you understand that that is an insult to me that you are lumping me in two sum you have. & I cannot tell you how it roneous that is you don’t know me and boy are you wrong. You have no idea how wrong you are
From Alan: That’s a pretty funny example of another way we’re misreading each other. I wasn’t even thinking about you when I mentioned some of the men I used to spend time with. I was comparing what you said was your interest in men – well dressed during the day in one way and in the evening in a very different way – with mine. The latter mainly showed my interest in once getting men out of their clothes so we could mess around. I have no idea what you’re like sexually, so I wouldn’t presume to guess.