The Reluctant Master - 6. Chapter 6

Lyle

From Alan: It might be fun to meet you, but, unfortunately, you’re in frigid St. Paul, and I’m comparatively balmy Cedar Rapids. Take care. Stay warm. And keep your hands out of your pockets.

From Lyle: Hi there! Would love to be your cum control victim. Do you ever get to Minnesota?

From Alan: You’re good-looking enough to make me consider signing up for a national conference even in the coldest part of winter. But my conferences are mainly local, so it’s been a long time since I’ve been anywhere near Minnesota. Besides, I could never use someone as my victim.

From Lyle: Grrr. I would love to be your boy in cum control training. I have a cb200., Maybe we could figure out some way for you to control the lock.

From Alan: You don’t need someone to control the lock. You just need to know what you need, and need to trust that you won’t do anything dumb. Just sending me that photo of your dick locked up shows you know what you need – someone to watch. What’s the longest you’ve ever locked yourself into that thing?

From Lyle: 4 days on a camping trip.

From Alan: Were you were aroused all the time?

From Lyle: Well, you can’t get hard.. You know that. It would hurt too much. But, yeah, the longer I wear it, the more I want to cum.

From Alan: When did you?

From Lyle: I still don’t let myself cum. Or I make myself cum in the worst possible way, where I get nothing out of it, like taking medicine.

From Alan: Then you put it back on?

From Lyle: Most of the time. But sometimes it really hurts after a while, when my dick’s been trying to get hard. So I have to leave it off even though I don’t want to.

From Alan: Why do you do it at all?

From Lyle: Because I don’t deserve to cum.

From Alan: Why not?

From Lyle: You’re not allowed to ask that.

From Alan: You know I’m allowed to ask anything.

From Lyle: Maybe if you held the key.

From Alan: Then send it to me..

From Lyle: I thought you didn’t want it.

From Alan: You know you wouldn’t anyway. You don’t trust anyone that much.

From Lyle: Just for you figuring that out about me, I should send you the key. Then I’d have to beg you to send it back.

From Alan: What if I said it never arrived?

From Lyle: I’d have to break the thing off.

From Alan: You’d hurt yourself.

From Lyle: I’d have no choice.

From Alan: Why don’t you just masturbate every day? Clear your system?

From Lyle: I told you.. I don’t deserve any pleasure.

From Alan: Why?

From Lyle: Because I’m a cocksucker. Or want to me.

From Alan: I’m not a psychologist, so I’m not going near that. But when did you start locking yourself in?

From Lyle: High school. I saw one of those things online and had to have it.

From Alan: That’s early.

From Lyle: I knew about chastity belts before that. We learned about them in grade school.

From Alan: And laughed.

From Lyle: Well, I didn’t think about it then. But once I started sneaking looks at guys in the locker room, I wanted some way not to get hard.

From Alan: You couldn’t wear that to school. Guys would see you in gym. You’d get beaten up.

From Lyle: I never wore it outside my bedroom in high school, didn’t dare start doing that till college. Even now, it’s a dangerous pleasure. You never know when something could happen that would rush you to the emergency room.

From Alan: Do people know you’re gay?

From Lyle: Oh, yeah, that’s easy compared to coming out as a masochist.

From Alan: I can’t imagine that.

From Lyle: Either can I, so I keep it to myself. Except online.

From Alan: There’s nothing about it in your description. Just a good-looking picture.

From Lyle: The guy next door, I know. Dad you’d like to fuck.

From Alan: You have kids?

From Lyle: No way. I’m not that stupid.

From Alan: I do.

From Lyle: Oops. Sorry.

From Alan: See, now, if I did have your key...

From Lyle: You’d flush it down the toilet.

From Alan: I’m not that mean.

From Lyle: But you’re partly mean?

From Alan: Not intentionally. I hope not. Though sometimes.

From Lyle: What’s the worst thing you’d do to me?

From Alan: I told you. I couldn’t do anything bad.

From Lyle: Just because you think I’m cute? What if I were really ugly? What if that’s not my pic?

(No reply)

From Lyle: Shocked you, didn’t I? Are you still there?

From Alan: Yeah. You just made me want to call a Help Line.

From Lyle: Is there one on this site?

From Alan: How could there be? So many guys pretending they’re what they’re not. Who can trust what anyone’s saying?

From Lyle: Then why are you here?

From Alan: I like to look at the pictures.

From Lyle: Do you meet many guys?

From Alan: I used to.

From Lyle: What happened?

From Alan: With the guys? Or why did I stop?

From Lyle: Tell me about the guys first. LOL. No, tell me why you stopped.

From Alan: I told you. I have kids.

From Lyle: How old are they? How long have you been divorced?

From Alan: I’m not. I’m happily married.

From Lyle: Now that, I don’t believe.

From Alan: Why not?

From Lyle: You wouldn’t be coming on to me if you were.

From Alan: You forget. I’m in Iowa.

From Lyle: Did you do that purposely?

From Alan: No. I was just looking at the pictures and thought you were especially good-looking. So I said so.

From Lyle: Is that really all you did?

From Alan: Yeah, that’s my usual. Some guys write back saying, “Thanks.” Most ignore me.

From Lyle: Why?

From Alan: Because I’m usually several states away.

From Lyle: Well, the guy whose pic I’m using is especially good-looking.

From Alan: What do you look like?

From Lyle: Nothing like him.

From Alan: But that is your body?

From Lyle: Oh, yeah. I’m too proud of my dick to lie.

From Alan: Proud?

From Lyle: I don’t mean it’s big or anything. Though it’s not small! But I’m proud that I can put it up there and not hide anything.

From Alan: Except your face.

From Lyle: The point is guys think they’ve seen my face. So they connect it to my body.

From Alan: Which is pretty good.

From Lyle: I work out. I can control that. But your face is your face.

From Alan: What don’t you like about yours?

From Lyle: You think I’m going to tell you?

From Alan: It’s weird. You’d probably do anything else I ask.

From Lyle: Oh, yeah!

From Alan: Because you trust me?

From Lyle: Something like that.

From Alan: But you won’t show me what you look like and won’t tell me what you’re actually thinking.

From Lyle: I’ve told you a lot. More than I usually do. Though most guys don’t ask.

From Alan: What happens when they want to meet you?

From Lyle: I don’t meet guys on this site. I meet them on a dating site.

From Alan: With your real photo?

From Lyle: Have to. Can’t have sex otherwise.

From Alan: So you have sex?

From Lyle: I like sucking guys off and like being fucked. They don’t care if I cum.

From Alan: Nice guys.

From Lyle: I pick ‘em that way.

From Alan: You ever want to settle down?

From Lyle: Not that way. Not with a boyfriend or a partner. Not yet.

From Alan: When?

From Lyle: Maybe when I hit 40. Or 50. I’ve got some time.

From Alan: Why do that to yourself?

From Lyle: Do what?

From Alan: Stay that lonely?

From Lyle: I’m not. That’s really bad psychology. I have a lot of friends, and I live in a great place.

From Alan: I’ll give you that. Certainly more interesting than Cedar Rapids.

From Lyle: Why do you stay there?

From Alan: It’s home. And I like it. I’ve always been comfortable.

From Lyle: You’re from there?

From Alan: Yeah.

From Lyle: Ever been away?

From Alan: For college. And grad school. The first time.

From Lyle: How many times did you go?

From Alan: I’ve got several degrees.

From Lyle: Are you really a psychologist?

From Alan: You know I’m not. Look how bad I am at it.

From Lyle: Yeah.

From Alan: I wouldn’t know what to say most of the time. Just like I don’t know what to think about you.

From Lyle: You’re disappointed that I’m not good looking.

From Alan: No. You’re too interesting for that.

From Lyle: Because I lock up my dick?

From Alan: That’s not the worst thing to do.

From Lyle: You ever thought about it?

From Alan: No.

From Lyle: Never?

From Alan: Yeah.

From Lyle: It’s that simple?

From Alan: I just never have. I like sex too much.

From Lyle: But you don’t have it any more.

From Alan: Not with guys. I do with my wife. Or by myself.

From Lyle: How often?

From Alan: You don’t get to ask those questions.

From Lyle: I just did.

From Alan: I’m not going to answer.

From Lyle: Then fuck off.

From Alan: OK.

From Lyle: Hey, I didn’t mean that. I was just being nasty. I like you.

From Alan: Then it’s a good thing we’re so far apart.

From Lyle: If I were there, would you have sex with me?

From Alan: I would in the days I was playing with guys.

From Lyle: Even though I don’t look like what you think.

From Alan: I’ve seen enough of you to know what I like. And you’ve written enough for me to like what I’ve heard. And we’re not getting married. It’s just sex.

From Lyle: That’s pretty much the same for me. Except when I’m locked in.

From Alan: If I asked, would you be nice to yourself?

From Lyle: How do you mean?

From Alan: If I asked you to unlock yourself, and fill your tub with warm water, lie there comfortably, and slowly take yourself up to orgasm, could you enjoy it?

From Lyle: That’s very sweet

From Alan: Would you?

From Lyle: I’m thinking about it. If I don’t say No, it gives me time to think.

From Alan: When was the last time you enjoyed coming?

From Lyle: I can’t remember.

From Alan: Maybe it’s time to remind yourself how good it feels.

From Lyle: Do you sometimes lie in the tub?

From Alan: Sometimes. Usually I masturbate in the shower.

From Lyle: Not jerk off?

From Alan: I’d rather take it slower.

From Lyle: I’ve always jerked off.

From Alan: Try slowing down.

(No reply)

From Alan: Are you still there?

From Lyle: Yeah, just thinking.

(Maybe a minute)

From Alan: Still there?

From Lyle: Yeah, I just don’t know what to say. Maybe if you were here. Maybe if you still had sex with guys. Maybe if you just met me without knowing what I am, what I do to myself, and what I like to do. Maybe if you weren’t married, and I were really dating for more than sex.

(A half minute)

From Alan: That’s a lot of maybes.

From Lyle: Yeah. You make me want to go out and get fucked and forget them all.

From Alan: I’m sorry.

From Lyle: You’re a real bring down, man.

From Alan: Then let me get out of here. Good night. Take care of yourself.

From Lyle: I already told you to fuck off, didn’t I?

From Alan: Yeah.

From Lyle: I still don’t mean it. I’m just saying that not to think.

From Alan: As I said, good night.

From Lyle: No, don’t leave.

From Alan: Why? There’s almost nothing I can do from here.

From Lyle: Tell me a joke.

From Alan: What did the sadist do to the masochist?

From Lyle: Not hit him. That’s a very old joke. I heard it before I even understood.

From Alan: It’s about my only sex joke.

From Lyle: Why?

From Alan: It’s easy to remember.

From Lyle: I wish you were here. Even for a little while. Doing things to me that would make me not get what I want.

From Alan: What do you want?

From Lyle: I don’t know, at least not about guys. With friends and at work, I’m fine.

From Alan: Then don’t worry about it. Don’t think about anything I’ve said. I’m sometimes an asshole.

From Lyle: But well-meaning.

From Alan: That’s partly why I’m an asshole.

From Lyle: The road to hell...

From Alan: I’m not going there.

From Lyle: You wouldn’t be.

From Alan: None of us are.

From Lyle: You honestly believe that?

From Alan: Yeah.

From Lyle: Then I’ll believe that one day I’ll meet someone like you, and he won’t be married.

From Alan: Great.

From Lyle: I’m not sure I believe that, but it sounds nice.

From Alan: It does.

From Lyle: And now I’m going to bed.

From Alan: Good night then. Again.

From Lyle: What are you gonna do?

From Alan: Take a warm shower.

From Lyle: LOL! Then I’ll tell you what. I’ll meet you in the tub.

From Alan: Deal.