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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

300 Letters - 26. Letter 25

7.11.2015

 

Dear C,

 

I was wondering today whether your hair started to grow back yet… And how do you actually look these days.

I haven’t seen you for over 3 months now.

Can you imagine?

The longest time apart we had was 3 days – when I had to travel to Poland once to get my ID card. And it seemed like a year then.

You know that I don’t have any photos of you here with me. Obviously my iPhone was taken away from me, including the wallet with your photo in it. It was a tiny photograph of you that you took for your passport when we were getting ready to come to Poland – for the first time for you, so you could meet my mum and her and my friends.

I asked Kasia and Agnes to send me some of your photos, but they disagreed and told me that was not a good idea. I wasn’t pleased, but I suppose in the long run they were right. I just wish I could see your face once more. The closest I get to you (physically) these days is when I lay my head on your belt at night.

I bet you have deleted all of our photos from your Facebook by now – the same way as you have erased me from your life. A dirt under your feet – this is what I am to you now. It’s ok.

One thing you cannot do – make me stop loving you.

Tough shit.

 

It’s a Saturday today and it has been raining all day long. It’s so windy and cold. The window in my cell doesn’t close properly so it is freezing in here – especially at night. Last night I slept wearing my winter jacket.

I started to have this idea of publishing these letters one day. I don’t know. I am not sure if I will be brave enough to do so. But on the other hand it would be nice to have them gathered all together as a book maybe. Or a blog at least… To publish a book I would need money and I have none of course. With a blog, I am sure I could do it for free. But to be honest I don’t even know if there would be anyone interested in reading these letters. I know you wouldn’t care about it and if I ever decide to publish them, you wouldn’t even know they exist.

It’s still such a long time to go – almost 3 years… Many things can change. I might be killed here one day, it’s a prison after all. And that wouldn’t be so bad anyway – the dirt under your feed would be finally gone.

But if I come out alive out of here and decide and manage to publish that book, I’d like the cover of the book to be green. I know you like that colour and it’s a symbol of hope.

Just like butterflies are.

I’d like to have a drawing of the two hands joined together with the green background. What do you think? I would call the book “Dear C…”

 

Anyway, my art classes are enjoyable. The teachers are lazy as fuck, they do nothing. I often wonder how demotivating this job for them must be. There is no enthusiasm or passion coming from any of them.

I, however, just do my thing. I paint. I create colours.

The colours give me the light. It’s crazy I know, but this how I feel. I don’t understand that, but this is how I feel.

Is your little sister excited about her working experience in my work place? I hope she is. I am sure Lucia will make it fun for her.

Your birthday is coming. I hope you will get to be at home during that time and you will have as much fun as possible.

I don’t think I will be calling you on that day – from your last email I could easily gather you don’t want me to bother you anymore. I won’t baby. I won’t.

I respect your ways.

Ok baby, let me wrap up here.

 

I love you.

 

Forever Yours

Sebastian

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Copyright © 2018 Sebastian Bauer; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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