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300 Letters - 8. Letter 7

12.09.2015

Dear C,

I think this is my last letter to you.

After all that has happened I see no point writing. No point hoping. No point living.

I have tried to go but I didn’t succeed. I am a failure on all levels.

You have all the rights to feel angry and I wish I had told you about Roland before, but I was a fucking coward. I was scared that I would lose you. Everything fell apart. EVERYTHING.

I have very little energy to write. I am locked up in an observation cell with a maximum security here and I have been drugged with some antidepressants and other stuff to calm me down. I sleep most of the time, sometimes I don’t know what is real and what is not. I don’t recognise the reality anymore. If ever, I will write more one day.

Losing you is worse than any pain, worse than everything that has happened to me a few weeks ago. I don’t know, if I ever will be able to tell you or anyone about it.

Now you left me and I can’t cope without you. I just can’t. I don’t want to.

Forever yours,

Sebastian

Copyright © 2018 Sebastian Bauer; All Rights Reserved.
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AC Benus

Posted (edited)

...oh, it's awful, but if C. is that type of person, then he's probably not worthy of love. To abandon a partner who was just sent to prison and going through horrible things... 

 

Hugs for you and for the you that had to go through this experience.  

Edited by AC Benus

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