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You kept telling me how I took up all the space in our relationship. How you needed to get away To get a way around the things in your head... Blasphemy. I believe I was still in your head. And stuck in the chambers of your heart, Your entrails shackling me to the walls of inferiority. Understanding your grudging affection Took up most of my daylight, yet you kept Asking for more... more space in your head. More air to breath, you sought out the nearest Island of wasted youth. More experiences, You needed more sensations, to expound The theories on space in relationships. I kept enabling you. I provided you More space, more air, more sensations. And when I finally went bone dry, Not a tear to spare, Your rampage stopped. I felt violated. I wanted to throw up. I couldn't. I wanted to cease to exist. I couldn't. And when I looked up towards the sky Bereft of all hopes of all illusions of all boundaries and burdens, I found myself attrited in the returning sunshine. 09/08/2016 ©asamvav111

M. H. Sebastian's works are already selling all over the world including Canada, UK, France, Australia & Japan as well as such obscure places as the United Arab Emirates and South Africa. With three novels already released, you can view the works and planned future novels at www.mhsebastian.com. The website has a purchase page, pages for each novel's preface, author bio, reviews and a contact link that goes directly to the author. Should any member of "Gay Author's" like a complimentary copy of the first novel "BARSTOWE ~ A life with Aaron" simply make that request via the www.mhsebastian.com website and an electronic PDF copy will be email to you.

Somewhere on the other side of the rainbow, in a land far far away, there will be a tree. An old majestic tree it will be, with its red, green and purple leaves, and its ancient curved branches extending their embrace from one horizon to another, standing solemnly in an emerald valley beneath the starry night in a solitary prayer. Underneath that tree old mossy stones will hibernate while snuggling the roots that reach the deepest crevices of earth in search of the sweet moisture and warmth of the old world. Little critters will live amongst them. A single blossoming vine of unnamed untamed wild flower shall entwine the expansive trunk all the way reaching the lowest branches. Sweet fragrance of the moist earth mixed with the green perfume of the arbour will permeate the shaded ambiance. And when sudden breezes shall play through the tunnels of the foliage and crosshatching of the branches, it will sound the sonorous melody of the windpipes of Pan. And the filtered moonlight of the November Lune shall silver the dark mahogany of the bark. Together they will create an ethereal opera of sublime thrills. Together we will meet under that tree… in another life. Promise. 22/07/16 ©asamvav111

Extreme Unction Unloved, Unkissed, Unconfessed sins Of hidden romances, Daring lusts to reach the heavens of Unmuted affections. Uncouth, Unknown, Undesired attraction Of objects lost, To deny the existence of Unseen memoirs of transgressions. Unforgiven, Untold, Unending love. 15/05/16 ©asamvav111

Colours of Love Paint the whole city blue and red, In Colours they come and in Colours they fade. My Colourman comes in a haunting snow, Pristine white when everything glow. He comes silently by my broken window, Softly sauntering like a sad old shadow. Glimpses by my broken window pane And lo what he sees, the old me again. Stuck in my bed in perpetual illness, Waiting in line for my turn with patience, Bereft of all but skin and bones, Sadist as always I am a sight to behold. Yet unlike most that come by my death-bed, I’ve failed so far to scare him to dread. He waits unerringly through the frozen night, And flees just as swiftly as the sun comes in sight. Yet he never utters a single word, Yet his eyes ever speak nothing but love. He colours the leaves and the petals and the pool, He colours distant meadows sheltered and cool, He colours my soul just as he colours the nature, As if I, too am an important creature. But, I know in spring when he’ll come by my window, The bed will be empty and I, one of those shadows. Then shall I be finally one with my love? Together we’ll colour the Heavens above. So here I ask you to do this small favour. Consider this as an affectionate endeavour. Please colour the city Blue and Red, So swiftly my lover finds my desolate bed. And we’ll bring colour to your life in dark shade, For in Colours they come and in Colours they fade! 18/01/2013 ©asamvav111

They say that nature has much to teach us, and that the simplicity of the laws of nature give the complexities of life some kind of roadmap for understanding how things work. But then people say a lot of things, and not all of them make sense, or are not as easy to understand or work out as it would seem. I mean lets be honest there are some pretty complicated emotions and feelings associated with something like a relationship that nature hasn't got a clue about right? Hmmmmm, lets consider one of the most fundamental relationships that exist between mankind and nature. Man's best friend. The simplicity of the relationship between a person and their dog could in someways be used to give us some useful lessons about the dynamic of a successful relationship. Madness you think? Well allow me to get you to think a little... Think not about the dynamic from a human perspective. Try if you can for a moment to put yourself in the dog's shoes/paws. Love given unconditionally. Loyalty. Care and compassion. Forgiveness. Joy. Peacefulness. Dedication. Just a few words that you would have to consider in life as a dog. Yeah, if you think about it, as long as a dog gets a little attention, fed on a regular basis, loved and walked, it matters not what kind of life they lead, they are always faithful and diligent to their master, right to the end. They never hold a grudge. Never worry about anniversaries, birthdays, being early or late. They forgive endless mistakes. They can be forgotten outside in the cold, left to wait in a boiling hot car, be scared witless by our fascination with fireworks, yet will always jump and and give endless love unconditionally when we pay them the attention they crave. They are fiercely protective of our safety, jealous guards of our time and space, love to be near us, wait patiently for our return, and celebrate our return passionately. They love to see us smile, listen to our woes without judging or making comment. They give comfort and kisses, even when we don't really want them. They make us laugh, and make us frown. Even when we get mad at them, they never hold it against us, and when we may be harsh, or lash out unexpectedly, they are quick to put it behind them and move on. They are cautious of strangers and welcome friends. Now for heavens sakes I am not suggesting we all go out and start dating our canine pets. That would be just a little outrageous! However, I am suggesting that there are a few things that dogs do that we could learn from in our quest to build strong and long lasting relationships. Right, so give consideration for a moment to what makes a good relationship. A good friendship. Loyalty, dedication, compassion, trust, diligence, patience, forgiveness.... See a pattern beginning to form? Maybe the reality is that much as the fantastic ability of a dog to love its owner unconditionally regardless of its circumstances is the starting blocks of what true love really is. That magical word unconditional is something we talk about a lot in life. It is something that is elusive and difficult to achieve as we are by nature selfish beings. We are out to get as much as we can for ourselves as fast as we can for as long as we can. So this unconditional malarky is a complete reverse of our predominant characteristic as a person. If we aspire to be a little less caught up in our selfish worlds of me me me, maybe we could learn to be better people. Better partners, better friends, better lovers. Take the time to try understand, be more compassionate, more forgiving, a little more willing to listen and not judge, more willing to stand at the shoulder of our loved ones, even if we may not agree with their decisions or choices. If we could just learn to be more attentive, more patient, more willing to have fun, be excited about the simplest things like spending time in one another's company, regardless of where, when or why, maybe if we could just take time to appreciate that we are not alone, not forgotten, not ignored, we could feel more appreciative of all we have. I mean how hard can it be? Well take it from me, not easy. Heck to get it right is bloody tough, and while nature may show a lot of simplicity in its lessons, this is not a simple life, and it is never easy to change our ways or alter our characteristics to being less human in a way. But in the long run it can almost make life worth living. It could bring an extra level of something special to our relationships and emotional well being. Isn't that something worth trying? I don't know, but I do know this... We are not perfect, I have said it so many times before, and as I look around me in my daily life, there is so much to learn, so many places to draw ideas, lessons and new insight from, that maybe this is how we learn to become better people. Maybe this is how we are meant to learn... What do you think? Thought for today - "Try not to become a man of success but a man of value" - Albert Einstein Song for today - Some Nights by Fun.

This story topic is for AC Benus' historical Christmas Holiday Novella about Saint Louis' most prominent department store Famous-Barr. The first story is being posted: Katie's Sketchbook - Christmas at Famous-Barr 1976 and you can learn more about Famous-Barr and enjoy pictures in AC's blog and gallery. I would never have thought reading about the history of a department store could be so interesting. As one of the comments said: "Now You are being a Living Encyclopedia." But I guess it's not the first time AC has awed his readers by the depth of his research and attention to historical facts and details. If you're ready to get into a holiday mood or want to follow one of AC's amazing love stories, check out Katie's Sketchbook. I promise you won't be disappointed. And join us here to discuss themes and topics of the Novella.

For discussion of themes and topics. Click HERE for the story.

Good Day, I will be posting updates with regards to this novel and some queries that my friends have asked me in relation to my story. This will give you, as a reader, insights to the process of how I started to write this novel. I will be providing the link as well to the story in this site. http://www.gayauthor...ybook1breathing NOTE: I will be posting the next chapter next week Monday or this Sunday. Although it's done up to chapter 7, I'm too lazy to press the spacebar five times just so I could copy the format it had when I wrote it on MS-Word. I'm a nutcase with these things. So please bear with me.