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Showing results for tags 'transgender'.
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Over the years I've been here, I've gotten the odd PM asking me whether I'm actually male or female. I have answered these questions truthfully. When I returned after my hiatus, I was really happy to find that there's now a non-binary option under gender, as there wasn't one before. I identify as genderqueer, gender fluid, or non-binary. When I first got here, I didn't. Or, that is, I lacked the language to. I was assigned female at birth, and I always thought I was comfortable that way. But now, I don't. At some point in late 2012 or early 2013, I chose a gender neutral pen name, as I started to write again. I was posting to Archive of Our Own then, and I wanted for my gender not to matter. I didn't know why that was so important to me at the time, though I do now. In April 2013, I discovered GA through a reader on AO3, and I came here. I never disclosed my gender, but people assumed. People assumed that I was a guy, and I loved it. I felt very comfortable, and free. Kind of like this was what I was supposed to be, most of the time. I say most of the time, because sometimes I'm perfectly happy being a girl. I put on a dress, I wear make-up and heels, and I'm cool with being called she. I'm fine with being called she most of the time, for the moment. In real life, pronouns aren't the most important thing to me, especially since I, well, shift. Most people IRL read me as female, so I'm not gonna force that conversation. But when I'm in here, I love being he, and I wish people would read me as he more often out there as well. For the longest time, I thought my feelings weren't legitimate, because I didn't suffer from body dysphoria. But a lot of my trans friends don't, either. At some point, trans people became 'we' and not 'they', to me. I recently switched meds, and the hormonal balance in my body's a little bit out of whack right now. When I discovered that I was growing actual facial hair, I felt overjoyed. The things that cis women pluck off the moment they see them, I looked at and felt like, finally! I have an honest to god moustache now, though it's super light so you can barely see it. I can feel it, though. There's a lot of it. A couple of weeks ago, I got a binder. Today, I wore it, put on a shirt I like, and I went out into the world and felt awesome. I felt like this is me. For the past few weeks, I've seriously been considering medically transitioning. The one thing holding me back is my singing voice. I'm a musician. I'm a singer. If I transition, my voice will change. It's a big risk. I mean, it's not like I could do it right now, anyway. It would probably take years before I could even start treatment. I dunno, I haven't really voiced these thoughts properly before, they're a bit of a mess at the moment. I don't want to click publish on this. I feel like if I do, you'll all treat me differently. Like I won't get to be me anymore. I kind of feel like an impostor, no matter which way I go. When I wear dresses and make-up, I often feel like I'm in drag. When I come here, and I'm me, Thorn Wilde, I feel like if people knew they'd stop seeing me as who I am. A couple of years ago, I found out that some people I thought were my friends had been talking behind my back, saying that I called myself genderqueer cause I just wanted attention. And constantly there's this fucked up voice in my head telling me that they're right, and I'm just pretending. I'm not. I know I'm not. I know that when I'm here, I'm Thorn Wilde and I belong. I don't want that feeling to go away. But today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. In the past year, 369 trans people have been murdered. Those are the reported ones, the ones where the victims weren't misgendered. My family is dying. The least I can do is be open about who I am. This is me, in my binder and my favourite shirt, being me today. Pronouns: He/him.
- 23 comments
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- 21
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- genderqueer
- non-binary
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Life's curves I don't know, I get so confused sometimes. I listen to people talk, read stories (fiction, i know) and like all stories there's usually a grain of truth in them. They do came from someone's experiences. Like it's been said, there's nothing new under the sun. Years ago I admitted to a friend that being gay scared me not because of what other people thought, since I had been through so much already by the age of 27 to worry with opinions not my own. It scared me because I never saw any older gay couples and I didn't want to die alone. I think the fear of dying alone made me reach out through the internet to feel close to more people since I was limited at home. Through all the chemo, radiation, and other crap I had to deal with, I was always scared of dying alone. I mean I knew my parents would always be there for me, but I mean that someone, that special someone. Yet the more I learn about life, the more I feel alone. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm not in remission yet, but I should be soon. So, I guess I'm getting better. There's still the bone marrow transplant donor to find and do. But, things are looking better again. Yet, I also see now that I missed out on so much as a teenager. I think I would trade my life today to have had a normal life as a teenager. Making all the mistakes and finding the new experiences. I guess I'm making a fool of myself. Tonight I set up most of the night reading a long story on nifty and envied the characters, even the sad ones. At least they got to experience life. I guess after so many years of battling my battles, I'm starting to become a little bitter over it. I do treasure my online friends, even some of the old guys that pretended to be teens before they either literally died from old age or disappeared. Life isn't always fair, in fact, it rarely is. But, I have to have the hope and belief that if you pour yourself into life, in the long run, it's all worth it. I am however real enough to know that's not always true. And it saddens me to see people have to deal with the worst life can throw at you. I wish the world wasn't like that. And like I said earlier, I dunno why I'm writing this, but here it is, raw, unedited me. Please, if you feel you can't take anymore, it will get better. There's nothing life can throw at us that we can't over come or find a way around it, it will get better. Nothing last forever, including the bad times, it will get better. Reach out to someone, talk to someone, share your feelings, it will get better. Never ever give up, it will get better. There are organizations that are there to help us through the bad times, it will get better. The Trevor Project is just one of those, reach out to them, support their work, it will get better. The Trevor Project
- 3 comments
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- teen
- mature adult
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Jared Leto from the television show 'My So Called Life' and the band 'Thirty Seconds To Mars' plays a transsexual person in the movie 'Dallas Buyers Club'. I have always found Jared Leto to be almost pretty and I look forward to seeing him in the part of Rayon. This movie is about the early days of non-existent medications that could be used for treating HIV and the attempt to acquire non approved drugs . I've watched the trailer. It showcases Matthew McConaughey as real life Ron Woodroof. Has anyone else seen the trailer yet? http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/09/09/tiff-jared-leto/2787249/ http://www.focusfeatures.com/dallas_buyers_club?utm_source=AllSearch&utm_medium=Search&utm_campaign=DallasBuyersClub
- 5 replies
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- movies
- transgender
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I'm doing research for one of my stories, and my Google-fu just isn't strong enough. Backstory goes: A 'boy' named Anthony is diagnosed with gender dysphoria at a young age. Therapy has no effect, he remains convinced that he's supposed to be female, and when he's nine years old, his mother and his shrink decide that he should be allowed to express his chosen gender identity, and they move away from the town where they live and Anthony transitions into Tania. Several years later, Tania, who is now taking hormones and living as entirely female, returns to her old town, with nobody knowing who she used to be. So far, so good. I've been reading up on hormone therapy, reassignment surgery, consulted transgendered friends of mine and so on. I know how the process goes. But what I need to know is when, historically, did gender reassignment therapy, hormones and puberty blockers become legal for under-18s in the UK? This story, the part where Tania returns home, is supposed to be taking place sometime between the year 2000 and 2004, but I can't find any info regarding whether she could have received the kind of treatment she's meant to have had in the UK in that time frame. So that's my question. Does anybody know? And if she couldn't, are there other countries she could have moved to temporarily in order to get that treatment?
- 4 replies
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- trans
- transsexual
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