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    Lugh
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

2011 - Spring - People Are Strange Entry

It Was a Holy Day - 1. It Was a Holy Day

High Holy Day Mishap

“Has Uncle Prude come yet?” Torzet asked of his brothers and cousin as he pulled the frock over his head and settled it smoothly over his shoulders.

“He’s been here and gone,” Alvaz told his elder brother, “and noted your tardiness. You are not going to get to sing another one. His ship arrived late last night.”

“I’ll bet he’s discussing it with the priests now,” Windal chimed in, taunting his elder brothers and elbowing his cousin, Matov, in the side as he did.

Matov usually did not join in the brothers’ bickering unless invited, like this, so he grinned, crossed his arms and asked his cousin, “So, just what were you doing to cause yourself to be late this of all mornings?”

Alvaz hooted and slapped Matov’s back then turned to his brother, “Yes, my brother, where were you, exactly? Are you still next in line or will the curse jump from Uncle Prude to me?”

“Ha! By the time our Uncle is finally bound I will have a son old enough to perform the rituals,” Torzet said with scorn.

“Rix isn’t that bad,” Matov said quietly to the backs of the others as they filed out. As youngest, he went last.

“He’s not bad. He’s so odd though, don’t you think? Him being Unbound and all and nearly twenty-five? Mamma says if he remains Unbound for much longer, he will go crazy. It has happened in the past. Going crazy might be the best way to go…. Not that I want him to go crazy,” Windal said.

“Perhaps I already am,” Rix said from the back of the line, interrupting the boys’ conversation, “and you all just don’t know it yet.”

“Are what?” Matov asked grinning.

“Crazy!” Rix grinned back and shooed the boys ahead of him to begin the procession that would end with the Ritual of the Sunrise, the job of the eldest unbound male, Rix’s job. One he would be more than happy to give over to anyone else if it were possible without shackling himself to someone he did not want to be with.

Rix and his nephews entered the temple in quite the orderly fashion with solemn expressions and proper mannerisms for such an important ritual. Nothing else would do. The boys walked two by two up the aisle with the elder boys in front and the younger in back and Rix in the center forming something of a cross pattern. Rix carried the altar cloth for the Ritual of the Sunrise and each of the boys carried a holy item. The walk was a short one up a flight of stairs with the entire family in attendance along with every sycophant in the palace. High Holy Days were decreed mandatory attendance that only guard duty, severe illness, or childbearing could get a person out of attending. Rix could count the Holy Days he had missed on one hand since he joined the procession when he was five. Then when he began leading them at about Matov’s age, there had only been one. Torzet was perfectly capable of singing the part. He occasionally gloated over the fact too, but then again, so were any of the others.

Rix found his mind drifting to the day when his twenty-year-old cousin found himself suddenly bound to a woman twice his age. She even had children near his cousin’s age. He came to the practice in tears and took Rix to the top of the stair then they both tried to step through. Rix found he was able to pass the final barrier, but his cousin was not. When they came back down the stair, his cousin gave him the tokens of his new rank. The sadness in his cousin’s eyes was something he would never forget. It was something he had avoided much to everyone’s displeasure. Moreover, it was something he would continue to avoid for as long as possible, Rix determined as Torzet and Alvaz crossed the first threshold. He went to take the step, but felt a force field keeping him back. Puzzled, he nodded to Windal and Matov go on, handing Matov the altar cloth.

As Matov went to step through he paused, “Is everything all right, Rix?” he asked.

“Fine, I think. Tell Torzet he will have to ascend this morning, I think the gods have finished with me.”

“He’s the Eldest Unbound now?”

“Seems so.”

“But who is your Bound?”

Rix laughed because the only other thing he could manage right now would be to cry and that just would not do. “I don’t know, Matov. Now go on so he can finish. I’m sure he’s curious as to what is taking me so long.”

Rix would have tried to sneak away, but there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, and no way not to face his entire family who would have seen and heard it was not him performing the ritual. He had no clue to whom he had Bound. Mentally he tried to put together a list of people he slept with since the last time he faced this boundary. It was a very short list. No wonder the boys called him Uncle Prude behind his back. Rix sighed.

Rix waited at the top step. It was all he could do until the ritual was over. Then, without looking at or speaking to the boys, he preceded them back down the stair. It went without saying there would be questions. However, he did not expect the pandemonium that broke out. No one could have expected that. The fact that the barbs started with Torzet hurt most of all. Halfway down the stair there was a snigger behind him, and a hastily whispered rebuke. He would have almost sworn the voices were of Alvaz and Matov, which meant the snigger, had to have been Torzet.

A few steps later came the words, just at a level where he could hear them, “I guess ‘Uncle Prude’ isn’t such a ‘Prude’ after all.”

“Is she ugly, Rix?” Windal whispered to Rix’s back, “or old?”

Rix felt his back stiffen as the younger boy joined his brother in the taunting, but felt a bit satisfied when he heard the younger boy grunt. Matov truly had his back; it was a shame the boy was fourth in line for his heir. Rix would have to research and see if there was a way to change that order due to – well anything.

Then again, he could always have a son of his own. He was Bound now. It was an option. A smile spread across his face as the thought took root about the same time as he hit the bottom of the stair. The anteroom was ahead and on the other side the entire family would be waiting. He may never have another chance to do this. He turned on his heel with the boys still on the stairs behind him and spread his arms denying them passage.

“Enjoy your time as Eldest Unbound, Torzet. Know that now that I am Bound, whether my Bound is old or ugly, I am still heir and any child that I produce – with any willing partner -- will supplant you as heir. Even if that child were female, her sons will come before you as heirs. Your time to shine is limited. Your power is limited. Your influence is limited. Learn your lessons well, boy. Bond well with the choices you are given, and remember your place in my father’s court while you pray you have one in mine.”

Then Rix looked at the other three before turning on his heel again and entering the anteroom, stripping off the religious garment for the last time as he did so. It felt slightly odd to exit the anteroom in his own garments knowing he would never enter that room again except to maybe take his son there one day. Then again, his father did not take him, but left that job to one of his cousins.

He was correct in thinking he would not get a moment to think once he left the anteroom. He opened the door to face Sophim and Gilban.

“Your esteemed father ‘requested’ we escort you to his presence, my prince,” Sophim informed Rix with a grin, “he sent two of us in the event you should attempt to flee.”

“We were given direction to ‘knock some sense into you and drag you before him if necessary’,” Gilban snorted. “We do hope it won’t be necessary. It does set a bad example for the young ones who already display enough airs for courtesans thrice their years.”

“I’ll go willingly,” Rix told them, “I know my duty and I won’t be dragged before my father to face it.” With that, he stepped past Gilban, but Sophim stepped alongside him.

“I knew my duty too, Anarix. Yet when the day came to face it, I wanted to run to the hills and howl at the moon, and your sister is among the most comely of women. We know nothing of your bound. Maybe I should at least walk here and Gilban walk there,” he indicated the other side, “so that if the animal in you decides to run we can help you subdue him.”

“I thank you, my brother, for your wise words and kind thoughts,” Rix said as he submitted to Sophim’s authority according to his father’s will. “You should be proud of Matov. He is a fine boy. You’ve done a fine job raising him.”

Sophim smiled. “It wasn’t just me. Quite a bit of that was your sister’s doing.”

It was not a long walk, or a complicated one, to reach his father, who was unusually accompanied by the queen and surrounded by all three of Rix’s sisters, the one brother-in-law that was not sent to fetch him, a dozen or so courtesans, and his mother. Sophim and Gilban led Rix right up to King Quaret and Queen Pavicia, where they made a show of bowing deeply to their monarchs. Rix inclined his head for a moment then met his father’s eye.

“Father.”

“Anarix. It seems to us this morning there was a new Singer at the Ritual of the Sunrise. Do you have some news you would like to share?”

“It seems the gods have grown bored with my voice and have chosen the vocal repertoire of a younger virtuoso. I do wish Torzet the best during his indenture and pray for him it is a short one.”

“Just bored?” Quaret asked his last surviving son.

Rix shrugged, “The general idea is that I am now Bound, but to be quite honest the list of possible people I could be Bound to is fairly short and I have no idea which of them to call upon first to ask if it might be them.”

“How short, Anarix, dear?” Pavicia asked.

Rix thought a moment, “I can’t think of a single person with whom I have intentionally shared both blood and semen. There are four with whom I have shared either blood or semen, that I may have possibly and without intent shared the other and one person that I vaguely recall…” Rix smiled at the memory, “who…” he blushed slightly, “but I don’t recall…” His eyes widened a little as he looked at Jozet then at Sophim, “Oh!”

“You have a name for us?”

“No. No. No name.” Rix shook his head, “I need to think. That night is a little fuzzy.”

“Which night, dear?” the Queen inquired.

“Gilban’s bachelor night,” Rix admitted at a whisper.

“That long ago?” Quaret bellowed, glaring from his son to his sons-in-law. “An unclaimed Bound from what is now five? Six? Weeks ago? That can harm the poor girl’s psyche. What if she thinks you don’t want her Anarix, even though you can now have no other?”

Rix looked thoughtful for a few moments. “I have no answers for you, Father. I do not believe I have rejected anyone, or made anyone feel rejected. If…” he looked toward Sophim for support, but Sophim would not meet his eyes, “if it is the person of whom I am thinking, well, I need to go back there. Otherwise, I may never find them.”

“How will you find her son?”

Rix looked uncertain. “I… I don’t know.”

“I do not like this, Anarix,” his father said, “Take a full guard. There are things you cannot possibly understand and that cannot be explained to you alone. If you were truly Bound just before Gilban and Elmera’s marriage, then you must find the young woman you have bound yourself to before the moon turns again. If you can’t find her by then,” Quaret looked over at Pavicia, who blanched but nodded, just once, “we will have to declare you Bound to the gods themselves and declare Torzet our heir in all rights.”

“Yes, Father. Before the moon turns again. May I have leave to begin now then? I have no time to waste.”

“Go, son, with our love,” his mother responded from her place at the side of the queen before Quaret could come up with any response. Rix took that for a dismissal and fled with as much decorum as he could muster in the middle of a breakdown. Gilban and Elmera followed.

He did not stop until he was in his quarters with the doors closed. Once there, he flung himself across his bed, grabbed a pillow, and attempted to strangle it. He heard the door open and close and knew who it had to be. His guess was confirmed when a familiar weight dropped on the bed next to him.

“Remind me when I am king that I do not know all about all and most especially remind my Bound not to ‘yes, dear’ me, ever. You may tell him that I have given him full permission to disagree with me on the day that I found out that I was his and he was mine because that was something he would not be able to disagree with, ever.” Rix squeezed the pillow. “I HATE this archaic method of mate finding. Look for the one that smells right, feels right, tastes right. See if you are physically compatible. Then and only then, if the gods bless your union you will be Bound. But what if the people involved aren’t emotionally ready to be Bound? Or interested?”

“Can you truly say that Rix?” Elmera asked her elder brother. “Can you honestly say you are not emotionally ready to be Bound?”

Rix only nodded into the pillow.

“I don’t know what goes on in that head of yours. You are fully grown, Rix. It’s time you began acting it. Father deserves his heir to have an heir. He went through such pains to get you,” Elmera chided her brother. “Honestly I think this is the best thing that could have happened. Even if the way it happened is kind of… sucky.”

Gilban crossed his arms and looked at Rix, “Your father keeps us close for now, but we all know that when it’s your rule that we will have to find other places to live. Or, we must learn to integrate ourselves into your court. And while some of us are trying to be your friend and confidant, others, well they are promoting their own interests.”

“Torzet is becoming such a little tyrant, that’s his mother’s doing isn’t it? Did you know she tried to drown me while I was still in the nursery? Then when Torzet was born, she would not leave me alone with him until he came into my care as my heir. Then he always had a guard nearby, in case he fell, or something terrible happened. You would think she didn’t trust me with my own nephew.”

“It’s a little of Jozet’s too. A second born son marrying a first born daughter isn’t really a step up,” Gilban added. “He has high aspirations for his sons. Now did I hear you correctly when you said we were looking for a him?”

“Yes, I think so,” Rix looked up from the pillow. “He’s the only one of my recent liaisons that makes any sense. I remember his scent. Gods he smelled so right that night I just wanted to take him and he did not resist. I didn’t have time for protection and I did not want to stop, in fact, I wanted to never stop. Jozet found us clinging together in the back alley like schoolboys having our first tryst and he said it was time to go. I vaguely remember there being blood, but I do not know if it were his or mine. I know I didn’t use any protection, nor did he although he released between us.”

“So, you are telling us that our eldest sister’s husband found you in a possible state of being bound and disrupted you?” Elmera said slowly and with more than a little malice in her voice.

“I’m saying it’s possible. I got his number. I had planned on going back, or calling, but…” Rix scooted across the bed to his nightstand and pulled out a folded sheet of Space Corps memo paper, there was an unreadable name scrawled across the paper and a number that looked local to the area they were in that night. “I came down with that illness right after coming back from the space station and was quarantined.”

“For the wedding no less,” his sister reminded him.

“Then Father has kept me busy on the far side of the sector and I couldn’t escape. I’ve felt no different with none of the signs of Bonding everyone schooled me to watch for. I thought maybe I had escaped again or the gods wanted me after all because I was going to go crazy eventually if I didn’t bond, all the histories say so.”

“There have been signs,” Elmera told him. Gilban nodded his agreement.

“You’ve become quite a bit more assertive, Rix. In our meetings you’ve taken control and not given it back.”

“Really?”

“Truly. We were waiting for you to announce her, or him, when you came home or this morning at least.”

“We didn’t know you were as in the dark about this as Father or we would have helped you before now.”

“So, how can we help you, big brother?”

Rix smiled. “Can I borrow your husband for a few weeks?”

Elmera grinned at him then reached over and tweaked his nose. “Yes, but only because you have one of your own now.”

All three of them laughed. It was something they had always done easily together but rarely had the chance. Rix was glad they had the chance now, because he did not think he would be having another one any time soon.

 

 

With the guards and baggage his father insisted he drag along, it took Rix nearly three agonizing days to get back to the little party sector of the space station where he found his partner. They arrived in the late afternoon and had no problems checking into the hotel rooms. Their group took up a whole floor in the assigned wing of their hotel. Rix had a room that adjoined with Gilban’s. He was not sure whose idea it was to put him in there, but he was just glad it was not a guard on the other side of the door when he looked. Gilban at least would respect his privacy somewhat as the polite knock sounding now proved.

“Enter.”

“So, do you want to give that number a ring?” Gilban asked pointing to the phone on the side table.

“No?” Rix said as he sat on the edge of the bed and rummaged through one of his personal bags.

“Aw, come on now, it won’t be that bad. What is the absolute worst that can happen?”

“He can say sod off.”

“Which just means you get to knock him on the head and we can drag him home to meet your father before setting him free again, yes?” Gilban asked as he picked up the phone. “Call.”

Rix took the archaic "landline" and dialed the numbers, but there was a recording. He stared at the device in disbelief. “The number is no good.”

“What?” Gilban asked as he took the device from Rix’s hand and dialed it himself. Indeed, there was a recording -- the number had been disconnected. “But it had been connected at one time, which means there are records. We can access those records and get his name. It might take a little time, but we can do it.”

Rix nodded trembling slightly, “It’s no good, Gilban. What if he didn’t want me at all? What if… what if I was only a…”

“So what Anarix? For all the gods Above, Below, and In-between! Do you think you would be the first idiot Bound into an unwanted pairing? It is done and there is nothing you can do about it but smile, appear to be happy, and get on with your life.”

“Are you happy Gilban?” Rix looked up at his friend, his golden eyes brimming with tears.

“Yes, Rix, I am happy. When we were children, I loved your sister nearly as much as I loved you and when… well I’m glad if it could not have been you that it was her. But right now, we have to find your young man. We know he’s connected to the Space Corps. Not too many of our kind connected to the Space Corps.”

“No, not too many,” Rix repeated, “if he were our kind.”

Gilban looked at him oddly. “What do you mean?”

“I should be able to sense him if he were near, if the bond were working properly. I should be able to do a lot of things according to my lessons. But none of them are working. I can’t feel him at all.”

“That’s never happened before.”

“There are lots of people not like us working for Space Corps.”

“Heaping lots.”

“They have a research station near here,” Rix said, “with people from all over the universe stationed there. Easy transport from there to here for a weekend off.”

“You looked into it?”

“Had three days and little else to do while the guard got ready to mobilize. I requested a list of people who visited their sick bay for two weeks after our night. They’re supposed to be sending it by tonight.”

“Why did you do that?”

“In case the number didn’t work. I still can’t read the name, can you?”

Gilban shook his head. “He needs penmanship lessons.”

They laughed.

 


Discuss this story here.

Copyright © 2011 Lugh; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

2011 - Spring - People Are Strange Entry
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  • Site Administrator

You create so much tension in this story over and over. The emotions in it vary from happy, to sad, homicidal anger to protective caring. Lightening it up all throughout are these totally hilarious one liners that really make it in my opinion. It's a rich universe you've created and I love being able to be a part of the process. Can't wait for more!

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On 03/13/2011 02:10 PM, Cia said:
You create so much tension in this story over and over. The emotions in it vary from happy, to sad, homicidal anger to protective caring. Lightening it up all throughout are these totally hilarious one liners that really make it in my opinion. It's a rich universe you've created and I love being able to be a part of the process. Can't wait for more!
oh there's more... lots and lots more... "It Was a Work Day" is in editing... strap it on and hold on tight!

 

Glad bring you along for the ride.

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Great Story Lugh! I love the world that you portray in these stories and I am so glad that you share them with us! It Was A Holy Day kept me on the edge of my seat as I wait to see what happens to each of your characters! I am especially glad that Rix now knows what happened with his "Bound" and I hope his brother is ready for what is going to happen when Rix gets a hold of him! I'm looking forward to reading more by you!

  • Like 1
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On 03/13/2011 03:05 PM, Renee Stevens said:
Great Story Lugh! I love the world that you portray in these stories and I am so glad that you share them with us! It Was A Holy Day kept me on the edge of my seat as I wait to see what happens to each of your characters! I am especially glad that Rix now knows what happened with his "Bound" and I hope his brother is ready for what is going to happen when Rix gets a hold of him! I'm looking forward to reading more by you!
snickers, I don't think anyone is going to be ready... but that story is for another day... not telling when though if I can't win against Mark I think I'll take on CJ.
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On 03/13/2011 04:56 PM, Dark said:
AHHH! You bastard!
why am I a bastard?

 

(there is a forum in the Hosted Row if you really want to complain... you can join the others)

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Dark really called you bastard :D

 

Ok, this story has just the thing I like most in your stories. It is like going into an unfamilar territory without map and compass and just trusting a really really weird guid to lead you through the jungle of emotions and happenings. And when I get there, it is like a wow, did I really survive and enjoy the journey that much?

 

It was such an evil thing to do not to put Rix and Puck together in this story. That was the thing that inspired me to write my fanfic poem to you.

 

This was not an easy story to fallow, but I'm so committed to it. I want more, please.

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On 03/13/2011 11:27 PM, Marzipan said:
Dark really called you bastard :D

 

Ok, this story has just the thing I like most in your stories. It is like going into an unfamilar territory without map and compass and just trusting a really really weird guid to lead you through the jungle of emotions and happenings. And when I get there, it is like a wow, did I really survive and enjoy the journey that much?

 

It was such an evil thing to do not to put Rix and Puck together in this story. That was the thing that inspired me to write my fanfic poem to you.

 

This was not an easy story to fallow, but I'm so committed to it. I want more, please.

more seems to be a common theme today... I've alraedy given in. There is more. Coming Summer 2011. Got to love me!
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You've given me a lot of material to rip apart. The names are creative but some are too close together to keep distinguished when the story is moving at such a quick pace. Your main character Anarix for being an heir to the throne seems like a playa and for someone who is used to death threats and danger would have been more careful when mating... cest la vie.

If you're going to end the story so abruptly on a cliffhanger which you did, you could have cut out a lot of the subplot as now i feel dirty for wasting my life reading all that extra dribble. It adds nothing to the story other than confusion. though i do really like Amberly and his sister's husband. You have a clear direction and intention with the story and yet you pushed us through many subplots and diversions and backpedaling extra material my brain feels like it's gone through a rusty cheese grater.

The core of the story, very clean and well written, extremely polished work exactly what i expected from you. I like the creativity and the setting of the story. I find that your overall all tone, and your expectations of people are extremely cynical and at times angry and depressing. you managed to evoke all of these feelings as I read.

I don't go into a story always expecting a happy ending, but it was clear from the start that this was not going to end well to the point that it was predictable and cliche.

 

Cailen Rating OVERALL: 7/10

Setting: 8/10- tell us more about the homeworld.

Characters: 5/10- cause you used about only half of them.

Plot: 5/10- predictable and dirge.

Grammar: 10/10

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On 03/15/2011 01:09 AM, Cailen said:
You've given me a lot of material to rip apart. The names are creative but some are too close together to keep distinguished when the story is moving at such a quick pace. Your main character Anarix for being an heir to the throne seems like a playa and for someone who is used to death threats and danger would have been more careful when mating... cest la vie.

If you're going to end the story so abruptly on a cliffhanger which you did, you could have cut out a lot of the subplot as now i feel dirty for wasting my life reading all that extra dribble. It adds nothing to the story other than confusion. though i do really like Amberly and his sister's husband. You have a clear direction and intention with the story and yet you pushed us through many subplots and diversions and backpedaling extra material my brain feels like it's gone through a rusty cheese grater.

The core of the story, very clean and well written, extremely polished work exactly what i expected from you. I like the creativity and the setting of the story. I find that your overall all tone, and your expectations of people are extremely cynical and at times angry and depressing. you managed to evoke all of these feelings as I read.

I don't go into a story always expecting a happy ending, but it was clear from the start that this was not going to end well to the point that it was predictable and cliche.

 

Cailen Rating OVERALL: 7/10

Setting: 8/10- tell us more about the homeworld.

Characters: 5/10- cause you used about only half of them.

Plot: 5/10- predictable and dirge.

Grammar: 10/10

giggles

 

not so bad 7/10...

setting: yeah I know, but "some people" were already griping about the length

characters: giggles, there's a reason for that, but I can't really tell you more.

Plot: NO! I will not believe it!

Grammar: This one goes to Cia.

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Well, the immediate response was, I want the whole story now. I know this was a big short story, but I was constantly wanting more detail and more answers and more words. You get that don't you. :D Very well done, and I enjoyed myself very much.

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On 03/15/2011 06:56 AM, Foster said:
Well, the immediate response was, I want the whole story now. I know this was a big short story, but I was constantly wanting more detail and more answers and more words. You get that don't you. :D Very well done, and I enjoyed myself very much.
thanks buggers,

 

that seems to be the immediate response to a lot of my stories.

 

I do get it. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I really enjoyed writing it. Unfortunately there was a limit to what could be considered a short story...

 

so I wrote two.

 

"It Was a Work Day" will be out Summer 2011.

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Okay, I guess I am the rotten bastard who is going to say bad things. Sorry, but did you want me to lie? :P

 

First, I was rather confused by all the names and titles and everything you crammed in. It was very hard to follow at first - sorry, but to this day I have no idea who the other queen and the kid Tozet killed were, where they were from etc. My opinion - which is worth squat is this was too short [Yeah imagine that from you.]

 

Apart from that I found it rather compelling - once I decided I didn't really care about who everyone was. It was really well done in how you make us care about your main characters.

 

I agree with Dark you are a bastard for leaving us like that. No you aren't required to wrap up all loose ends but then My Mystic Knight ended with so much unfinished and that isn't being worked on now is it? So yes you are a bastard :P

 

I also agree with Cia, you do have a ton of tension in this story - there were times I had to put it down and come back after I calmed a bit - not days but a bit of time in between. So that was pretty great in itself.

 

Not giving you a grade or a rating, not my thing but how's this? :2thumbs:

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On 03/16/2011 09:45 AM, Andrew_Q_Gordon said:
Okay, I guess I am the rotten bastard who is going to say bad things. Sorry, but did you want me to lie? :P

 

First, I was rather confused by all the names and titles and everything you crammed in. It was very hard to follow at first - sorry, but to this day I have no idea who the other queen and the kid Tozet killed were, where they were from etc. My opinion - which is worth squat is this was too short [Yeah imagine that from you.]

 

Apart from that I found it rather compelling - once I decided I didn't really care about who everyone was. It was really well done in how you make us care about your main characters.

 

I agree with Dark you are a bastard for leaving us like that. No you aren't required to wrap up all loose ends but then My Mystic Knight ended with so much unfinished and that isn't being worked on now is it? So yes you are a bastard :P

 

I also agree with Cia, you do have a ton of tension in this story - there were times I had to put it down and come back after I calmed a bit - not days but a bit of time in between. So that was pretty great in itself.

 

Not giving you a grade or a rating, not my thing but how's this? :2thumbs:

snickers.

 

I could have cut some of it, upon reflection, but I guess I'm looking at the story as a whole.

 

I'm glad you found it compelling, and I agree I am a bastard. Never argued that point. Vote Lugh King of Cliffies?

 

Mystic is on the list. Monday was from 2009, Mystic from 2010... one at a time.

 

I'll take the thumbs up. The girls are griping in the forum... wanna join them?

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Through the years, I always expect a cliff hanger, deliberate or accidental from you. I though It was a Monday was a self contained story. I think it was brilliant how you continued the overall scheme. The unspoken part of Puck was an excellent device. The treatment of Uncle Prude, in the temple was so realistic. The way the two cousins, went on the town, is unfortunately, very life like.

Now for an admission, my family is the richest family in South Wales, it is also the biggest, so per individual, we have 100 pounds each. I do not know what relationship I have with the vast majority of relatives. The many names and the relations are just like my family, uncles, cousins, or nephews depending on how old, only my mother (priests) knows exactly. To me the slight confusion or names etc was realistic but I can see how it could cause problems in people from smaller families. A suggestion that a device in having similar names for siblings and father and sons and /or two names John-Paul, John-David.

Things I particularly liked were the flow, the hint of comedy, in the Amberly scenes, some hints like the old priest in the temple. The elephant in the room, what was Puck working on? I got the impression of sex taking place but there was no direct sex

But most of all how you have create a demand for more, and have a cliff hanger which will last for three months.

 

 

Red Rating OVERALL: 9/10

Setting: 9/10-I do not think any more would detract from the flow

Characters: 9/10- you only used half of them but the hint that you you use them in the future is there and it adds suspense to this story

Plot: 8/10- because I think there is more behind the story plot than is evident to my weak eyes.

Grammar: 0/10 Do not do grammar or spelling.

Readability10/10 There are many strong stories of yours that I will not re-read again because of fear, but this one will be re read again and again.

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On 03/16/2011 05:41 PM, Red_A said:
Through the years, I always expect a cliff hanger, deliberate or accidental from you. I though It was a Monday was a self contained story. I think it was brilliant how you continued the overall scheme. The unspoken part of Puck was an excellent device. The treatment of Uncle Prude, in the temple was so realistic. The way the two cousins, went on the town, is unfortunately, very life like.

Now for an admission, my family is the richest family in South Wales, it is also the biggest, so per individual, we have 100 pounds each. I do not know what relationship I have with the vast majority of relatives. The many names and the relations are just like my family, uncles, cousins, or nephews depending on how old, only my mother (priests) knows exactly. To me the slight confusion or names etc was realistic but I can see how it could cause problems in people from smaller families. A suggestion that a device in having similar names for siblings and father and sons and /or two names John-Paul, John-David.

Things I particularly liked were the flow, the hint of comedy, in the Amberly scenes, some hints like the old priest in the temple. The elephant in the room, what was Puck working on? I got the impression of sex taking place but there was no direct sex

But most of all how you have create a demand for more, and have a cliff hanger which will last for three months.

 

 

Red Rating OVERALL: 9/10

Setting: 9/10-I do not think any more would detract from the flow

Characters: 9/10- you only used half of them but the hint that you you use them in the future is there and it adds suspense to this story

Plot: 8/10- because I think there is more behind the story plot than is evident to my weak eyes.

Grammar: 0/10 Do not do grammar or spelling.

Readability10/10 There are many strong stories of yours that I will not re-read again because of fear, but this one will be re read again and again.

LOL!

 

I'm glad someone picked up on some of the subtle things that were going on behind all that runaround. The reader don't know exactly what Puck is up to. The next story may not be much help in that department either I'm afraid. Puck is still hiding, but Legands... now there's a story for you.

 

I'm glad this will be in your read-over file. That's something I like to hear.

 

 

Now... mosey on over to the forum and help me tame the girls before they get out of hand! They want DETAILS of the next installment! Can you believe that?

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This is the second time I've read your work, Lugh. I love it! I like the world you've created. Granted that I got confused with all the names, but I love the richness of your world. You can do so much with this story. Now I think I should wait for the next bits grr. But really, I love this. Thanks for sharing :)

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On 03/24/2011 07:25 AM, jian_sierra said:
This is the second time I've read your work, Lugh. I love it! I like the world you've created. Granted that I got confused with all the names, but I love the richness of your world. You can do so much with this story. Now I think I should wait for the next bits grr. But really, I love this. Thanks for sharing :)
YAY!

 

good to know you didn't waste an hour of your life. Yes, it seems several people are waiting for the next bits... they are written or being written. Hope you enjoy them as much or more.

 

Really glad you enjoyed this one. Hugs!

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Hmm I wasn't expecting that abrupt of an ending. But a well-written, engaging piece. The rest I'll put in your forum :)

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On 03/27/2011 08:15 AM, Sara Alva said:
Hmm I wasn't expecting that abrupt of an ending. But a well-written, engaging piece. The rest I'll put in your forum :)
giggles, got to love it.
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Hi Lugh,

 

It was a rollercoaster of a read, but I'm a little confused right now. Is Puck really dead? I hope not! :((((((

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On 04/22/2011 09:31 PM, auel said:
Hi Lugh,

 

It was a rollercoaster of a read, but I'm a little confused right now. Is Puck really dead? I hope not! :((((((

is he? it's not vague... honestly it's not. snickers.

 

thanks, I had planned it to be a rollercoaster ride. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Well, at least NOW rix knows the truth <_<

AND, so so much death in this chapter! :o

Ahem!

so, the WHOLE thing is planned out, right? :P

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Yay! loved the 'It was a' stories and cant wait for more!!!! Like tomorrow? lol ;)

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On 06/06/2011 03:22 AM, Sami said:
Yay! loved the 'It was a' stories and cant wait for more!!!! Like tomorrow? lol ;)
give it two weeks, tops..

 

you can comment in my forum too if there is a specific aspect you want to discuss... quite a few people were wanting to lynch me after... but they stopped after a while.

 

Anyway I'm glad you enjoyed it. I like Rix and family and they will be showing up again in the near future (not in School Day though) so sit back, and enjoy the ride, you are in for one hell of an adventure!

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